


Will you be my ten inch hero?

by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Bullying, Canon-Typical Violence, Cas is a new character in the movie, Dean starting a new life, Dean with colorful hair, First Kiss, First Time, Homophobic Language, Idiots in Love, John kicked Dean out, M/M, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Minor Crowley (Supernatural)/Bobby Singer, Minor Rowena MacLeod/Gabriel, NSFW, Priestly!Dean, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, Top!Cas, Virgin!Dean, bottom!Dean, dean is shy and bi, giving a baby to adoption (not between Destiel), inspired by the movie ten inch hero, not Ketch or Mick Davies friendly, shy!Dean, stanford!sam, surprise guest appereance, takes place in the supernatural world, two surprise pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-04-23 00:26:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 57,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19139893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/pseuds/NotfunnyDean
Summary: When John Winchester kicks Dean out, after he saw him kissing another boy, and Dean sees that Sam has a perfect life at Stanford without him, Dean starts a new life in Santa Cruz. He works at a tiny shop as a cook, has found some friends there, and is overall happy enough. That changes when Castiel comes into his shop and his Co-worker Azara, who has a different man every night, starts flirting with him right in front of Dean. Not that he would be jealous or anything, but there is something about Castiel that makes him weak in the knees. Only that Castiel would never want him back, right?





	Will you be my ten inch hero?

**Author's Note:**

> WELCOME TO HELL! :D
> 
> Haha no, I'm just joking. So this is my first big bang EVER and I have to say it was a lot of fun (and tears). I really loved the idea of a Movie Big Bang and the Discord was a very lovely place. So I wanna thank our three mods for being so wonderful. You should check them out! They are the lovley [jscribbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jscribbles/pseuds/jscribbles), the wonderful [Malmuses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalMuses/pseuds/MalMuses) and the amazing [AmandaCanzo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaCanzo/pseuds/AmandaCanzo)!
> 
> I also wanna thank my beta readers: [Cas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Angel_A_Muse), [Charlie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keplarrrr), [Ellen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leatherandapplepies), [Benny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartravenclaws/pseuds/smartravenclaws) and [Ro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester_of_the_lord)
> 
> And I really need to thank my brother, Sammy. You are always there for me and help me with everything! I'm so lucky to have you! 
> 
> Last but not least I wanna thank my Artist [Kuwlshadow](https://kuwlshadow.tumblr.com/) for their wonderful art to my fic! You can find their masterpost [here](https://kuwlshadow.tumblr.com/post/185738536098/title-will-you-be-my-ten-inch-hero-author).
> 
> Annnnnnnd that's it, enough chick-flick moments! I really hope you enjoy reading this fic!
> 
> NotfunnyDean x

[](https://66.media.tumblr.com/e0c81ffeaace77d17f35fb3af08d1c20/tumblr_ptfedixQZE1tjx93eo1_1280.jpg)

 

Dean gets out of his shitty car and sighs. He misses his baby and it's just another day at work. It's not that he really hates his work or his coworkers, but sometimes he feels as if he isn't part of the group. Not because they are ever mean to him, no, they are nice, but Dean just feels like an outsider, because of all his secrets.

Maybe he just makes himself an outsider. He knows they are his friends, since he started working there years ago.

"Mum, why does the man have red hair?" A small boy asks his mother and Dean looks away. He knows that Santa Cruz isn't that small, but still a lot of people judge him. It always reminds him of his Dad. He doesn't even wait for the answer of the mother and enters the sandwich shop.

The " _Help Wanted - Normal people need not to apply"_ sign is gone, but Dean doesn't even realize it in his hurry to get into the building.

"Everybody relax!" Dean says, when he enters the shop and he tries a tap dance. He can hear the girls giggle and sees how Gabriel, his boss, rolls his eyes at him. He grins widely at them.

"I'm here." Dean says and then he even winks at them. He was never really shy, or more like he pretended not to be, but with his colorful hair styled as a faux hawk, the tattoos and the clothes he wears, he feels more protected now. Like nobody can hurt him.

"Oh and so close to being almost on time." Azara says, but she is grinning, too. Dean smiles back. Azara looks beautiful as ever and when she plays with her brown hair, he can hardly look away. Not that she’d be interested in someone like him anyway. People like her are so out of his league.

"Yeah well, come on. I mean, once I start showing up on time, you'll expect it every day." Dean says and still tries to sound a bit cheeky. Gabriel snorts behind him and Dean searches for his apron.

"How are you Priestly?" Eileen asks and Dean looks up at her. While Azara is always the confident and flirty one, Eileen is much more shy, which mostly is because she is ashamed of being deaf. Dean liked her from the first second and even learned a bit of sign language for her. If Eileen feels comfortable she doesn't sign to them, but talks and she reads their lips whenever she can.

"I'm good and you?" Dean says and it's funny how he doesn't need to think about answering anymore, when they call him by his new name.

"Me too." Eileen says quietly and then she looks back at her computer. Dean knows she is mostly writing with a boy she met online. Fuzzzy_22. But she also takes their online orders for them.

Gabriel mostly shows up to look if everything is fine and Azara serves their customers. While Dean is the cook of the little sandwich shop. He always liked cooking and Gabriel pays him more than enough.

"Nice shirt."

Dean turns around, because he doesn't know that voice. He always wears funny and colorful shirts, that clash with his hair. Today it's a grey one but on it is written _'Tip me or Die'_. Dean chuckles.

"Thanks. So who are you?" He wants to know, because the girl who said that is behind the counter. Nobody is allowed to be near his beautiful stove, besides Eileen and Azara. Well and Gabriel. Sometimes.

"Charlie." The girls says and Dean watches her for a long moment. She has red hair, a bright smile and big blue eyes.

"Charlie. So what are you doing here, Charlie?" Dean wants to know and he already turns his back to her, to actually start working. The shop is still empty besides Bobby and Crowley, who are almost always in the shop, only to sit at different tables.

"I work here." Charlie says happily and he can hear Azara clapping her hands. Dean gasps and turns around.

"Why wasn't I notified? I wasn't notified!" Dean says mostly fake mocking, but everyone starts to laugh. He always likes it, when he can make people laugh. If they laugh about his jokes, they can't laugh about him.

"Hey Priestly. We hired someone." Gabriel says and he grins, so widely, that Dean has to laugh, too. Well at least Charlie seems very nice and she wasn't making fun of his shirt, so she is good in Dean's books.

"Thank you. I swear, we need like a bulletin board, or a staff email, or something." Dean says a bit grumpy, but he winks at Charlie, so she knows, that he is only joking. God imagine they would get emails from Gabriel everyday. No thanks.

Gabriel isn't listening anyway, since he stares out of their big store window. Dean chuckles when he sees why Gabriel is mentally absent. Outside Rowena goes towards her little shop. Dean knows that Gabriel has a massive crush on her, but somehow he seems to think he doesn't deserve her.

Dean knows all his colleagues have problems with their love lives. Hell at least they do have some love lives.

"You know Priestly. Charlie thinks Elvis is dead." Eileen says then and Dean's head snaps around to her. They always joke about Dean's music, like Elvis or good old Led Zeppelin and when Dean told them once, he believed Elvis was still alive, they laughed for hours.

Since then, it's kinda the question Gabriel asks for an interview. And only people who believe Elvis is alive get to work here.

"Really? Now you're hiring people who failed the interview?" Dean says to Gabriel, who just snaps out of his thoughts and smiles. Dean rolls his eyes, but doesn't say anything. He knows Charlie must be cool, if even Azara wanted her here.

"Not everyone can be as cool as you are." Azara says and she laughs. Dean huffs and then finally turns to his stove. He could already prepare some of the food for lunch time. Most people come from the beach to eat a snack at their little shop.

"Right." Dean says quietly and looks at the sandwich he tries to prepare.

The door opens a bit later and Dean doesn't pay any attention to it. With Charlie and Azara now here, he doesn't think he has to talk to customers ever again, if he doesn't want to. Which is good. He barely notices it, when some people come in. Just prepares the orders, Azara or Charlie give him.

He can even hear Azara flirting with some men and just tunes it out. He knows he is jealous and he cuts the bread with a bit more force then he has to. Sometimes, when he is home alone, he thinks about it all night.

Because what… what if he isn't jealous of the guys she flirts with, but _Azara?_

"I don't know. I mean, you're cute and everything, but..." Azara says then and with that Dean breaks out of his thoughts. She is doing it again.

"But what? Come on, Azara!" The guy says and Priestly takes a moment to look at the guy. He is almost whining, because of course he wants her so bad. Dean sighs.

Even before he looked like he does now, girls never waited in a line for him. Or, huh, boys. But then again, Dean never stayed at a school long enough to really find someone.

"Well it's just…" Azara says quietly and Dean knows that. She has to be faking to be this shy.

"Here it comes." Dean mumbles, but the guy doesn't hear him anyway. He is too focused on Azara lips. Dean goes back to his work when Charlie hands him another order. He smiles at her and sees that she also concentrates on Azara's conversation.

"I don't really like sex." Azara whispers quietly. Well not really quietly, because Dean can still hear her and he is sure the other girls can hear it, too. At least Gabriel seems engrossed on his newspaper in one of the booths. He is also eating some chocolate, because Gabriel is a sucker for sweets.

"What? How can you not like…" The guy starts and Dean rolls his eyes so hard, that it actually hurts. Okay, he is sure now. With that guy, he isn't jealous of Azara at all. Some guys really do only think with their dicks.

"I've never had a… you know." Azara tries again and Dean really wants to say something, but in the end, he doesn't, like always.

Azara tries this with every guy that comes inside, who is at least a little bit hot in her eyes. Most of the times it actually works. Dean could never flirt so openly with her or anyone, but he wouldn't buy this joke of her never having an orgasm.

If only he were a little more confident. Maybe then she would actually say yes to a date with him? Dean shakes his head at himself. Sure he knows Azara is a sweet girl, but some things about her make him feel bad.

She is the beauty queen of high school and he is only the freak in the background.

"My god, does that really work?" Charlie says, when the guy is gone and Dean realizes he wasn't even listening to their flirting anymore. But maybe that's better anyway.

"Every time." Eileen answers now and Charlie whistles impressed. Dean puts his finished sandwiches on the counter and Eileen takes them with a thanks. Dean nods at her with a small smile and tries to concentrate on cleaning his stove.

He hears the door open again, but doesn't turn around. For sure, it's that guy again who just wants to flirt a bit more with Azara, but then Charlie goes over to the counter and Dean looks at Eileen and Azara.

"If men are that easy to manipulate, they deserve to be taken advantage of." Azara says quietly and she giggles. Eileen huffs and goes back to her computer, while Dean tries to look at her screen. Oh she is really writing Fuzzzy_22 again.

"Priestly? I need a ten inch meatlover." Charlie says then and Dean holds up his hand, so she knows that he heard her. He goes to the stove and easily prepares the sandwich. Meatlover is his favorite, so it only takes him a few minutes.

"I'm easy to manipulate! Why don't women take advantage of me?" Dean says and he turns around with a big grin and the finished sandwich for the new customer. Before he gets a cheeky answer from Azara, he actually sees the guy who wanted the sandwich.

He is tall, with dark hair, that's all over the place and plush pink lips. But his eyes. They are so blue, that Dean can't look anywhere else. And yes maybe Dean isn't as straight as he would like to think. The guy looks like an angel and Dean wishes he would have a chance with someone like that.

Dean blushes hard, because of what he just said in front of this gorgeous man, but then he stumbles over his own feet and nearly face-plants right into the counter.

Everyone around him laughs.

"I think we can all guess the answer to that." Azara says loudly and Dean wants to die right on the spot. Of course he makes a fool of himself when a guy like this shows up at their little shop and then Azara tops it with saying something like that.

"Uh uhm…here's your sandwich." Dean stutters, while he rubs over his ribs. Before he can actually give the sandwich to the man, Azara takes it out of his hands.

"Ten inch Meatlover, interesting choice. My name is Azara." She says and Dean gasps at her.

"Thanks." The guy says briefly and looks back to Dean. The moment their eyes meet, Dean can't look away and neither does the guy. Well at least until Eileen starts laughing and Azara coughs slightly.

"So are you new in Santa Cruz?" Azara asks, wanting to know and Dean can't believe she is actually trying to flirt with that guy. Well yeah, of course she would, he is so hot. But she already has a date for tonight!

"Yeah, just visiting for a few weeks I think." The guy says, frowning, and Dean's belly churns, when he hears the voice. Deep and gravelly. Dean hastily stands more straight and then takes a few steps back. He really doesn't want to listen to their flirting, but he can't stop staring.

"Oh sweet. Well, I hope Santa Cruz is to your liking." Azara tries it again, but the guy looks back to Dean.

"Hey, are you okay?" He wants to know and Dean nods hastily. He can't speak.

"Of course he is. So what's your name, stranger?" Azara says and she waves a hand at Dean, who gets the message and actually goes over to prepare some sandwiches no one even ordered. Just so he has something to do.

"Castiel." The guy says and Dean mouths the name. It somehow fits him and Dean smiles down at his hands.

"It's always like that?" Charlie asks and Dean sees that she is standing right next to him. He was so much in his thoughts, he hadn't realized she came over to him.

"Yeah. I mean she is hot, so…" Dean says and then stops himself. Charlie just grins a bit more and Dean frowns.

"Oh believe me, I know." Charlie says and then sits down next to Eileen, who is still writing on her computer. Dean frowns harder and then shakes his head. He’s only known Charlie for a few hours, so maybe she is just like that.

Dean squints towards Azara and sees that Castiel is still staring at him. Dean's eyes widen, but Castiel seems more focused on his hair. Oh. Dean swallows the urge to fix his hair again, because let's be honest, the faux hawk is pretty intimidating.

Castiel wears a white shirt, an actual suit with a blue tie, and even a beige trench coat over it. Yeah, he probably thinks Dean is a huge freak.

"So it's a date?" Azara squeals a bit and Dean finally stops staring at Castiel. This is so not good. He always tried to hide this side of him. He had always thought about other boys, but his father made sure Dean knew how wrong that was. He had only ignored his father's order once and that had destroyed his life.

Normally Dean can lie to himself about it. So he just will ignore this Castiel, too. He's in Azara's and not his league anyway.

"Yeah sure." Castiel says quietly and Dean's heart stumbles a bit. He knew it. Nobody can actually resist her. And maybe this Castiel guy would treat her well. They would fall in love and Azara would finally get her happy ending. Dean squeezes his eyes shut.

"See you tomorrow then!" Azara says happily and she pushes herself past Dean to get to their little room behind their shop, where the Toilets are and also their storage room.

"Hey uhm…" The guy starts again and Dean only reacts, when Eileen nudges him with her elbow. Dean looks right into those blue eyes again. Azara is already in the back of the shop and Dean isn't sure what's happening.

"Yeah?" Dean asks and he hopes his voice isn't that strained.

"He was asking about your name." Charlie says from one of the tables she is serving. Dean nods. Maybe they all introduced themselves and he has missed it.

"Priestly." He mutters and Castiel frowns at the name. Dean wants to scoff, because seriously it's not as if Castiel has a normal name.

"It's his surname. Nobody knows his first name." Gabriel says from his seat and Castiel studies him for a second.

"Well then, Priestly. This is for you." Castiel holds out his hand and Dean can see that he actually holds up some money. He is a bit confused, Castiel already gave Eileen the money. She always handles the checkout.

"What for?" Dean squeaks and he knows how stupid he looks. Charlie and Eileen are both giggling and Dean tries to ignore them. He carefully holds his shaking hand out and hopes Castiel doesn't see it. Castiel presses the money into his hand and winks at him. It looks as if he had never winked before.

"I don't wanna die." He says smiling and then points at Dean's shirt. Before he can answer anything to that and he wouldn't even know what he could say, Castiel nods at the girls again and then takes his sandwich.

[](https://66.media.tumblr.com/b814386953c88a7429132a59446a3415/tumblr_ptfedixQZE1tjx93eo2_500.jpg)

He is out of the door in seconds and Dean is still standing there with over ten dollars in his hand. He doesn't know what just happened.

"Maybe I should start wearing shirts like that, too." Charlie says and again the whole shop is laughing. Dean smiles a bit wobbly too and then tells everyone he would be taking his break now.

Alone, behind the outside of the shop, he takes a deep breath. He knows he will spend the whole night thinking about Azara and Castiel. How they are falling in love and Dean presses his eyes close. It's better that way.

 

*

 

Dean feels worse the next morning. He didn't sleep very well, still thinking of the blue eyes, but also seeing his father in his dreams. And Sammy. Dean shakes his head at himself and tries to get rid of those thoughts.

He isn't searching for them for a reason.

"Good morning, Priestly." Charlie says, when she enters the shop. She seems in a really good mood and Dean smiles at her. The others were right to hire her, she seems really sweet. A bit crazy, but hey, they all are. Dean sees her scribble something on a paper.

"Hey guys." Dean says and he also tries to act a bit happier. Maybe he could help Eileen a bit with flirting with her online boyfriend, even if she always says, it isn't like that. He knows Eileen likes him, just as he knows that Gabriel really likes Rowena.

And Azara likes Castiel.

Just as he thinks that, the door opens and Dean looks towards it. Of course it's Azara entering the shop and Dean takes a deep breath. He can't let them see that he liked Castiel. He doesn't want to lose this family, too.

"Oh look, she can still walk!" Dean hollers and Eileen giggles, while Charlie laughs loudly. Azara just makes a face at them and shakes her head. She doesn't seem to be in a good mood. That surprises Dean a bit.

"Alright, let's hear it. What were his grades?" Eileen wants to know and Azara sits down on a chair against the counter. She groans and Dean wrinkles his nose. That bad? He thought Castiel was a clear A.

"A for effort and C for execution." Azara says in the end and Dean nods to himself. She would never be this sad over Castiel. He is pretty sure she actually took the other guy home. And didn't she ask Castiel about today and not last night anyway?

"Natural gift?" Eileen asks, because that is their normal checklist. Normally Priestly is the one asking all the questions. Today he doesn't feel like it at all.

"Didn't even register." Azara says and Priestly snorts a bit. Sometimes she deserves that. Priestly would never want to see her hurt, but bad sex once a month? Yeah that is something she deserves. Dean chuckles to himself and takes his apron.

While he starts making a few sandwiches for them all for breakfast, he doesn't really listen to the girls talking. He hums to his favorite Led Zeppelin song and moves his hips a bit.

"Well, did you at least tell him that size doesn't matter?" Charlie asks, laughing, and Dean has to grin at that, he nods to himself.

"Yeah sure. I told him. You don't actually think guys believe that, do you?" Azara answers and Dean stops in his movements. He even looks down and the girls start all laughing again. Dean huffs and throws his towel at Azara. She catches it easily.

Dean starts doing the dishes and ends up next to Charlie, who is still drawing at one of her papers. He watches her and when Gabriel comes in, he also sees the drawing and smiles.

"Oh what's that?" Dean wants to know and Charlie grins.

"Just uh my art stuff." She says then and Dean raises his eyebrows. That's actually pretty cool. He wishes he could draw as well.

"Charlie, I didn't know you were so good at drawing ." Gabriel says and Dean has to say that he is right. It does look good. She blushes adorably and Dean puts a hand on her shoulder.

"It really is." He says and Gabriel takes one of the drawings and holds it up.

"Do you draw controversial stuff, too? Like people pissing on the pope?" Dean wants to know and Gabriel frowns at that. Dean shrugs his shoulder, he doesn't know what's in with the kids today.

"That's not even controversial anymore." Gabriel explains to him and Dean thinks about it. Maybe Gabriel is right with that. Dean would've liked to draw things like that. John would've exploded.

"People have done stuff like this so often, they expect it by now. Pay someone to draw pissing on Martin Luther King and see what happens." Gabriel says and Dean gasps. How the hell does Gabriel always have weird ideas like that. Okay, Dean started it. But Gabriel is always a bit more weird than him. Which is saying a lot.

"Or Martin Luther King pissing on the Pope." Dean tries and this time he gets a honest smile out of Gabriel. Even Azara snorts behind him and Eileen laughs as well, when she reads Dean's lips.

"Now that's controversial!" Gabriel says and Dean glows under the praise. He really knows why Gabriel had that _“help wanted”_ sign outside, normal people would just die here.

"How about the Pope pissing on Martin Luther King or Martin Lawrence…" Dean starts, because now he wants to make them laugh again. But Charlie holds her hands up.

"Okay guys, I won't draw any guys pissing on anyone." Charlie says, laughing, and Dean shrugs his shoulders. Her loss. But then again, he wouldn't want such a painting for himself either. He shudders of the thought of having such a painting in his kitchen.

"Hey Gabe." Azara says and she points at the blank wall in the sandwich shop. Gabriel nods and then looks back to Charlie.

"Right! Charlie, why don't you decorate our wall for us?" Gabriel suggests and Charlie looks really happy at that. Eileen also seems excited about it and the next minutes they all spend talking about her art. Only Azara is standing at the front of the door and when Dean looks out of the window, he sees Castiel.

_Of course._

"So what do you think, do you want to paint our wall? It's yours." Gabriel says and Dean tries to look away from Castiel. He hears that Charlie would actually love to paint their wall, but he still looks at Castiel.

The door opens and Rowena comes in. Dean snickers quietly, when Gabriel doesn't even realize it.

"You don't even have to draw anyone pissing at anyone." Gabriel says just as he turns around and nearly runs into Rowena. Dean snorts and Eileen chuckles quietly, too.

"Good morning." Rowena says and she is smiling broadly. Gabriel seems to be petrified. He doesn't even close his mouth. Dean is glad he isn't the only one of them who can't flirt at all.

"This was in my mail, by mistake." Rowena says and she holds out a letter for Gabriel, who at least takes it. Dean can see how his hand shake and he almost feels sorry for Gabriel. Almost. Rowena just smiles at him and Dean knows how Gabriel feels. He really likes Rowena, she is always nice to him.

"Hi Charlie. Nice to meet you." Rowena says, when Gabriel still gasps quietly at her. Charlie seems a bit afraid that Rowena knows her name and Dean looks up as well. Rowena always does some scary stuff, but this is outright crazy.

"Wait how do you know her name?" Dean asks and he is a bit afraid of the answer. He always had the feeling Rowena wasn't really… _human_. But then again, he never saw any cases of strange happenings near them, so he isn't sure if she's actually something like a demon, or a witch.

"She just feels like a Charlie." Rowena says and Dean shrugs. Okay seems fair. He looks back to the front and sees that Azara still watches Castiel. Dean watches him, too.

As if Castiel senses that Dean thinks of him, he turns towards the shop and looks right at him. Or well at Azara, who is also still staring. Dean is so surprised, that one of the plates falls down and shatters into a thousand pieces.

"Priestly!" Charlie says, a bit startled, and Priestly is sure he is blushing again. God he has literally no control over his body as soon as Castiel is near.

Of course Castiel couldn't wait a few more minutes and comes inside, just as Dean kneels over the plate and tries to clean up all the shards on the ground. Before Castiel can say anything, Gabriel laughs and looks over the counter.

"You will have to pay for that." Gabriel says and he laughs. They both know, they never have to pay for anything like that. Still Dean is embarrassed and his face is for sure just as red as his hair. He tried to keep the faux hawk a bit smaller today.

"Hello everyone." Castiel says in his deep voice and Dean tries to look very busy with his shards. Not that it matters anyway, because Azara is already pushing him out of the way, so she can serve Castiel.

"Hey Castiel." She says happily and Dean hopes that Castiel doesn't see that he frowns. Of course after her bad sex last night, she needs somebody new and she already made it clear that she wants this _somebody_ to be Castiel.

Dean wishes just once would somebody look at him like that. He knows he shouldn't like guys. He has scars to prove that. But lately he can't help it. Azara gets so many men at her feet. Why can't he just have a single one?

"What can I do for you?" Azara says and she plays with her hair again. Dean looks up and he can see how Castiel's eyes follow the movement. Yeah, just like he thought.

"The sandwich from last time was really good, so I think I would like to order it again." Castiel says and Dean snorts quietly. At least his cooking is good enough for Castiel.

"Ten inches?" Azara says flirty and Castiel tilts his head to one side. It shouldn't be this adorable, but Dean feels himself smiling. Castiel even squints a bit at her and Dean bites on the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't start laughing.

"As I said. I would like to order the exact same thing." Castiel repeats and this time Eileen laughs a bit. Azara frowns at her and then puts on her cutest smile for Castiel. Dean finally stands up and Castiel immediately looks at him. His eyes focused on Dean's hair.

"Uhm hi." Dean tries and he gets at least a smile and a nod from Castiel. Maybe he doesn't hate him. That's already a win, because most of Azara's dates hate him and make fun of him. Azara tells them to fuck off every time, but Dean's heart always clenches anyway.

"Hello Priestly." Castiel says and Dean fumbles with the towel in his hands, in which he put all the shards. They stand like that for a moment and Dean wonders why Castiel is staring at him, when Azara coughs.

"So you doing his order or what?" She says a bit snippy and Dean hastily nods, before he starts preparing the sandwich. He takes his time and listens to the others. The computer makes a new sound and Dean smiles. Fuzzzy_22.

"Oh what's that?" Charlie asks from the other side of the counter and Dean knows without looking towards them, that Eileen is blushing. She is always that shy about the guy she writes with. Maybe Dean should start looking online, too.

"Uh well it's someone I met on the internet and we have been chatting for quite some time now." Eileen explains and then shows Charlie. Dean can hear Azara laughing.

"Yeah, our Eileen here is a bit shy and can't flirt with boys." She says and Dean sighs. He knows Azara actually loves all of them, but sometimes she puts others down so the men will love her even more. Dean hates it.

"I think it's romantic." He hears himself saying and of course now everyone looks at him. Dean only realizes now that Castiel is also still standing at the counter and not like he thought sitting on a table waiting for his order.

"You do?" Charlie asks and she is smiling at him.

"Y-yeah, I mean, it's cool, you know." Dean says and stumbles over his words. He clears his throat and hopes the girls will ignore him again.

"I do believe it is romantic as well." Castiel says and he smiles at Eileen. Charlie squeals a bit and then sits down next to Eileen, to look at their texts. Eileen is bright red, but she seems happy, too. Dean nods his thanks to Castiel.

He carefully puts Castiel's sandwich together, when Gabriel speaks again.

"Girls? I believe it's your lunch break now. Why don't you all go to the beach?" Gabriel says and Dean arches his eyebrows. Gabriel never tells them, when to take their break. Normally he doesn't care about the time.

"Oh sure." Eileen says and shuts the computer down. Dean frowns harder. It's not that he wants his own break now, but why only the girls and not him?

"What about me?" Dean tries, because he has a really bad feeling about it. Gabriel shakes his head and points at him. Dean is sure he is starting to sweat.

"You stay here. I can't have all my employees leaving at the same time." Gabriel explains and Dean swallows dryly. Another lie. Sometimes if they all take their break together, Gabriel watches the shop.

"Okay." Dean just says and finally finishes Castiel's sandwich. Took him way to long anyway, but he can't concentrate now that he knows that Castiel is watching him.

"So beach time?" Charlie asks and she is already by the door. Eileen packs a bag and goes over to her. Only Azara is still not moving. Dean wants to roll his eyes. She wants to stay with Castiel of course. Not that he can blame her.

"I'm out this time." Azara says without even looking at them. Charlie just shrugs and then she is out of the door with Eileen. Dean can hear the laughter, before the door shuts again and the two girls go down the street.

"No beach?" Dean tries to joke, but Azara ignores him. Instead, she takes the finished sandwich out of his hands and gives it to Castiel, who takes it easily. They both look at each other and Dean feels wrong to be even in the same room as them.

"So, Castiel, you said you're new in Santa Cruz. How about I make myself useful during my break and show you our beautiful city." Azara says and to Dean's horror Castiel is nodding. Dean knew he never had a chance anyway, but he doesn't want to actually see Castiel and her dating.

"If you don't mind me eating my sandwich, while we walk. I don't have so much time." Castiel explains and Azara promises that would be fine. She even takes one of Dean's sandwiches for herself, before she tells Castiel to wait for her and she rushes to their backroom.

Dean tries to busy himself with his stove again, but he knows that Gabriel wants to talk to him and what if he fires Dean? If he knows about Dean's thoughts about Castiel. And Castiel is also still staring at him.

"What does your T-Shirt mean this time?" Castiel asks then and Dean has to look down at it, because for a second he doesn't even remember what he’s wearing today. It's a white shirt with red sleeves and written on it is _'Cat, the other white meat’._

"Oh, it's from Alf." Dean explains, but Castiel only frowns harder.

"I don't understand that reference." Castiel says slowly and Dean has to laugh at that. Okay he may be a nerd with movies and tv shows, but everyone knows Alf right? Dean smiles and shakes his head.

"It's a TV-Show. Alf is an alien and lives with a human family and in this one scene he visits a tv show and presents a meal. Well, and in the end it has cat in it and it was to promote his book, which is named like the quote on my shirt." Dean rushes out to explain. Castiel doesn't smile at that and Dean flushes.

"The poor cat." Castiel says and Dean feels bad. While he would never like to own a cat, since he is allergic, he would never hurt one.

"Yeah…" Dean says quietly and of course in that moment Azara comes back to them. She even changed her T-Shirt to a new cute one and Dean feels worse, when Castiel smiles at her. Without another word, they leave and Dean watches after them.

What would he give to be Azara for a day.

"Priestly?" Gabriel says after a few minutes and Dean snaps back to reality. He tries to show off his best grin, but of course Gabriel doesn't really believe it.

"Hm?" Dean hums and actually bites his bottom lip. He needs this job. Hell, he doesn’t want to go back to what he was doing before. He likes cooking these sandwiches and he likes the people around him and...

"Your brother called." Gabriel says and Dean feels as if somebody cut out all the noise in the world around him. His brother. Sammy. But that… that can't be true.

"What?" Dean tries and his voice sounds so high. He doesn't think he can breathe.

"Yeah, I was a bit surprised, too, since you never talked about him before, but he said he wanted to meet you. I didn't tell him you actually worked here or anything, but here is his number." Gabriel says and holds out a piece of paper.

Dean takes it with shaking fingers. Sammy called. After five years of no contact, he actually searched for him and… he found him. Dean may have changed his whole life, but of course Sammy was smart enough to find him.

"T-thanks." Dean says and with that Gabriel claps his shoulder, as if to say that he is there, in case Dean wants to talk. Dean doesn't, and so Gabriel sits back down at his table and starts reading another newspaper, with a new sucker in his mouth. Dean swallows.

For the next hour Dean tries to wrap his head around the idea, but he doesn't know what to do. He misses Sammy, sure. But Sam ran away from him and Dad. Sam left him and Dean never got over it.

"Hey Priestly. Are you okay?" Eileen asks, when she and Charlie come back. Actually Charlie looks as if she had been crying and even Eileen looks sad.

"Yeah sure. I'm fine. But what happened to you?" Priestly says and he looks around. The shop is empty, even Gabriel left at some point. Probably to look for Rowena.

"We uhm… had a talk." Eileen says and she looks at Charlie, who just shrugs.

"Oh, well if you need help, I'm here." Priestly says and both girls nod at him. Well that's at least something. Eileen sits back down at her seat and starts the computer, but Charlie is still standing in the middle of the room, her arms around her middle.

"You can trust him. Priestly helped me with Fuzzzy_22, too." Eileen says quietly and Priestly can see how tears well up in Charlie's blue eyes. He immediately comes around the counter and puts her arms around her. Forgotten are his own problems.

"I… I'm in Santa Cruz for a reason." Charlie says, while she presses her face against Dean's shoulder. Dean just holds her. He remembers when Eileen first told him about Fuzzzy_22. How she had thought he would laugh at her. Or how Gabriel admitted he was in love with Rowena over a few beers.

Priestly was never good at love. But he was at friendship.

"We all have a reason. You don't have to talk about it, but I'm here, if you do want to talk." Dean whispers quietly and looks at Eileen, who wipes a few tears away as well.

"I'm searching… for my child. Kevin." Charlie says under tears and Dean hopes his gasp wasn't too loud. Charlie already has a child?

"Kevin." He breathes and Charlie nods.

"Yeah I… was too young when I gave birth to him and my mum said I should give him away. God, but it was so wrong and now I actually think I found him here in Santa Cruz." Charlie whispers and she fumbles with Dean's shirt.

"Have you seen him yet?" Dean asks and shushes her a bit. She is still crying, but not as bad before. Dean hugs her a bit tighter. He can't imagine what that must feel like.

"Only a second." She whispers and Dean nods. There is nothing he can really do for her now, but if she needs his help, he will of course help her. He is always there for his friends and he really thinks Charlie already is his friend.

"I'm here, if you need me." Dean promises and he kisses her on the top of her head. He closes his eyes and stays pressed against her, since he also seeks a bit of comfort after hearing about Sam.

The door opens again, but Dean ignores it, since he is focused on Charlie in his arms. Only the gasp from Azara makes him look up. She is back and next to her is Castiel. Dean swallows the urge to jump away from Charlie, since they didn't do anything.

And even if they did. It's not Azara's or Castiel's business.

"Thank you." Charlie says and finally breaks the hug. Dean just nods again and she wipes her tears away before she goes back to their storage room. Maybe she wants to be alone for a bit, Dean can understand that.

"I'll see you later then?" Azara says to Castiel and he nods shortly, before he is out of the door. Azara grins and then spins herself around.

"Already?" Eileen wants to know, but Azara shakes her head.

"Nope. He plays hard to get." She grins and Dean rolls his eyes so hard he can actually feel it in his brain. But it isn't his problem if she and Castiel want to play.

"And what happened here?" Azara asks, after Eileen and Dean are quiet for a while. Since Dean wouldn't tell secrets to everyone, although of course Azara is not just everyone, he stays quiet. Eileen shrugs her shoulders and Azara seems a bit hurt.

It takes another twenty minutes till Charlie comes back and she smiles at Dean, who briefly squeezes her hand.

"Do you feel better?" He wants to know and he notices that a new customer is coming in. Another glance shows him that Eileen has it covered and he focuses back on Charlie. Azara is wiping their tables clean, so they can talk.

"Yeah, thank you and sorry for crying on you." Charlie says, but she is still smiling and Dean hugs her again. He doesn't even see the customer watching them closely. He sighs.

"Nothing to thank for. If you need my help, just tell me." Dean says and with that he leaves her to help Azara. He is sure that she will fill Azara in on what happened and he does the last cleaning up, before he can finally go home, too.

"Priestly?" Eileen says, just as Dean puts his jacket on.

"Yeah?" He says and thinks she wants to talk about Charlie's problem. Instead she holds up a very shiny stone. Gabriel, who showed up a few minutes ago, grins as well.

"Look what I just got from a customer." She says happily and Dean takes the stone. It really looks very pretty, even if he feels like he saw that stone before. He shrugs.

"It looks cool." He says and Eileen grins wider, before she puts it next to her computer. Dean says his goodbyes to everyone and leaves.

The cool night air feels good against his skin. Only then he thinks about Sam again. And he has no idea, what to do.

 

*

 

Dean doesn't feel better the next day, or the day after it. Actually he feels worse when he sees that Azara is already in the shop. He hates to be like this, because he actually considered them friends and he doesn't even know this Castiel. So why is he so jealous?

"Morning." Dean says loudly when he opens the door, but nobody actually looks to him. No, Gabriel is leaning against the counter, while he is listening to Azara. Even Eileen and Charlie seem very focused on her. Dean frowns.

"Oh don't even start with me. If men are that easy to out-finesse, they deserve what they get." Azara says and she laughs. Dean isn't even sure if she is talking about Castiel, but his heart clenches.

Dean swallows his feelings down and puts on a wide, fake grin.

"Hey I'm easy. Don't I deserve it?" Dean says loudly and this time he finally gets a reaction. They all turn around to him and Dean tries to smile cheekily, though he isn't sure if it actually works.

"Well, Priestly, see, your problem is you always go after hot chicks. You know. You gotta raise your expectations, man." Gabriel says and Azara huffs angrily.

"Excuse me?" She says and Gabriel snickers for a moment. Dean raises his eyebrows, what is happening. Raising his expectations? He doesn't even get one boy… uh girlfriend at all. He has no expectations.

"Well, really good-looking women, they're high maintenance. And without exception, completely worthless between the sheets." Gabriel continues and the shit-eating grin on his face says enough. Azara glares at him.

"Seriously?" Dean wants to know and he hopes nobody can actually hear in his words how nervous he is to talk about this. But he focuses on the other's laughter at Gabriel's words.

"God's truth." Gabriel says and he focuses on the word “ _God_ ”. Azara rolls her eyes for that. Dean doesn't know if that's an inside joke, but it seems like it.

"Certainly been my experience." Bobby says loudly and Dean has to laugh at that. He loves Bobby. The man actually saw how badly Dean needed help, when he first got here and forced Gabriel to give him this job, even though Bobby isn’t well himself. He sits in a wheelchair. Dean winks at him and Bobby laughs.

"Oh you guys are pathetic." Azara says, but Dean can't stop chuckling. He knows that she isn't really angry, so it's okay. Even Charlie and Eileen seem amused by the conversation.

"Alright, take Azara, for example." Gabriel continues and Dean nods hastily. He would take her as an example, if he could. Sometimes he wishes he was a hot girl like her… but he would for sure miss his dick and he actually enjoys being a guy.

"Men are so pumped to be with a body like hers that all she's gotta do is just lay back and enjoy the ride, you see? That way, she's never gonna develop any skills in bed." Gabriel says and if looks could kill, he would be dead by now.

"I second that." Bobby says and Dean sees exactly how Crowley frowns at the words. Dean actually focuses on them for a moment, because sometimes… sometimes Dean feels that there are some unspoken things, too. But maybe that's just his wishful thinking. To find somebody else like him. To find people that accept themselves as they are.

"Hey, I work hard!" Azara tries again, but the laughter only get louder. She pouts adorably and Dean is glad he isn't in the focus like that. But at least Charlie finally seems to be more happy again.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, attractive women are great to look at, just don't go home with the prom queen. Give her the crown, she'll never go down." Gabriel says and this time Dean sputters, because that's a very nice saying.

"I should make that into a T-Shirt." Dean says loudly and Charlie winks at him. It feels good to laugh with all of them like that. Gabriel even gives him a thumbs-up and it makes Dean feel proud . Gabriel rarely allows anyone else to be funnier than he is.

"I was prom queen." Azara says loudly and Dean snorts. Of course she was. Dean didn't even go to prom. He wanted to, but John said it was a waste of time. Dean had agreed and thrown his suit away. But at least Sammy had one prom. Dean had begged John to stay, so Sam could celebrate it. Only for Sam to leave them two weeks later.

"Well, I rest my case." Gabriel ends it and he gets another newspaper. Sometimes Dean really wants to know what he is reading all day.

"Alright. That's it. You and me in the office. Now. I'll show you how I earned my crown." Azara says and she is already on the way to their backroom. Gabriel doesn't even move an inch. Dean looks after her. It's that easy? Should he insult her as well, so she would show him?

But then again… he doesn't think being with her would make him happy. And she wouldn't be happy either.

"Women. They are so easy to out-finesse. They get what they deserve." Gabriel says and Dean actually wants to give him a high five for that. Gabriel had emphasized the word _“women”_ and Dean had seen Azara's glare.

"Dicks!" Azara yells back and she throws her towel towards Gabriel and Dean. It misses, clearly, but Dean has to laugh loudly after all. Well until one of his sandwiches starts to burn and he jumps towards his oven again.

The next hours are very calm in the sandwich shop, considering that Azara ignores Gabriel on purpose. Dean is only once pulled out of his thoughts, when he gives a sandwich over the counter to a young woman and sees Castiel outside again. He just walks past the shop and Dean takes a deep breath. Good.

"Priestly?" Charlie asks and Dean jerks a bit. Fuck, he was still staring after Castiel. Hopefully Charlie didn't see what he was looking at.

"Yeah?" He says and turns to her. Eileen is still writing Fuzzzy_22 and he can't see Azara or Gabriel right now.

"Would you like to spend my lunch break with me?" Charlie wants to know and Dean is a bit surprised. Normally, the girls never spend lunch with him. Azara mostly heads towards the beach on her own, to find her next victim, and Eileen usually spends her lunch here in the shop.

"Uh sure. You have any idea where?" He asks and Charlie grins.

"Yeah, lets go to the beach, I liked it there yesterday and I’ve never lived near the beach before." Charlie says and Dean nods. Sounds fair. He doesn’t go to the public beach much. That's where all the asshole surfer guys are and they love to yell insults at Dean. But maybe he would be fine with Charlie.

"I’ll just get my bag." Dean says and Charlie already goes outside. Dean follows her and they walk together towards the beach. Dean sees that Charlie has her drawing stuff with her.

"So, Priestly, you were born in Santa Cruz?" Charlie asks and Dean laughs.

"No, not at all. I'm from Kansas, can't you hear that?" Dean says and he winks at Charlie, who grins back and nods.

"So, what are you doing here in Santa Cruz? You said we all have a reason to be here." Charlie says and she points at a bench right at the beginning of the beach. Dean nods and they both sit down there.

"It's complicated." Dean says at last and Charlie nods. It's not that Dean feels uncomfortable with her, but some stories are better left unsaid. Nobody needs to know that he had an abusive asshole as a father and that even his brother…

Dean swallows. _Oh heck_. He forgot about Sam.

"Yeah. Isn't everything?" Charlie says quietly and Dean nods. They sit in comfortable silence and just watch the waves, until Dean's belly growls loudly. Dean blushes and Charlie laughs at him. Of course Dean had expected to eat at the shop again, so he didn't pack any lunch and when Charlie asked him, he didn't want to start making a sandwich for himself.

"I could eat something, too." Charlie says and Dean grins at her.

"How about some burgers?" Dean asks, because just around the corner is a really good shop, that sells the best burgers Dean’s ever had. Yeah, he sometimes cheats on his own sandwiches with those burgers. But he can't live on them alone, can he?

"I love you." Charlie says and Dean snorts, before he ruffles her hair. Charlie squeals and Dean gets up. They actually have a good place here to eat lunch.

"You stay here. I’ll go get them." Dean says and Charlie gets her art stuff out. She is already deep in her thoughts, when Dean finds his wallet and goes towards the shop. He whistles quietly to the beat in his thoughts and grins. Maybe he finds a really good friend in Charlie.

It doesn't take Dean too long to get the burgers. He didn't even ask Charlie what she wanted, but just got her a cheeseburger and fries as well. But when he comes back to the beach, he sees Charlie talking to another woman and a little kid.

_Oh._

Maybe that's Kevin and his adoptive mother.

Dean decides to wait till they finished talking. He can see that the little boy is sitting on the table next to the bench and is talking to Charlie as well. Dean smiles. He really wishes Charlie could find her son and spend more time with him.

"Priestly?"

Dean turns to his left and sees that Castiel is sitting on a bench as well. He smiles up at him and then points at the food in Dean's hand.

"Is that all for you?" Castiel asks and his big blue eyes crinkle when he smiles and Dean melts on the spot. It is not fair, that Azara's soon-to-be-boyfriend is allowed to be this adorable and hot at the same time. Dean hopes he can pin his blush on the sun and not his embarrassment.

"Oh, no. It's actually for Charlie and me but she seems occupied." Dean says and he points over to Charlie, who is still talking to the mother and her child. Apparently she shows them some art, because Kevin holds up a piece of paper.

"Well, do you want to sit down?" Castiel asks and Dean nods, before he awkwardly sits down next to Castiel. He puts the food on the table and frowns. If Charlie talks any longer to Kevin and her adoptive mum, the food will get cold.

Would it be rude to start eating without her? Dean's belly grumbles loudly again and he flushes, embarrassed. Castiel just grins at him. He looks so stunning when he smiles and Dean looks down at his lap in shame.

After… after Benny he had his feelings under better control. But Castiel makes him weak. Dean swallows and then tries to behave normal, even though his pulse is still way too high.

"Maybe you should start eating. I know how annoying hunger can be." Castiel says easily and Dean nods dumbly. Well, better to be rude to Charlie than embarrass himself even more in front of Castiel.

"Yeah." Dean mutters and takes some fries. They are just as good as he remembered them and he smiles down at his food. He knows his sandwiches aren’t bad, but he eats them way too often. The first bite of his burger has him moaning and all his blood rushes to his face. _Oh god_. Hopefully Castiel didn't hear that.

"That good?" Castiel asks and he’s smiling again.

"You want some?" Dean asks back and he doesn't look at Castiel. He doesn't want to blush again, so he looks to Charlie who is still talking to the other woman. Seems like an interesting conversation. Dean wonders what Charlie is telling them.

"Really? Thank you, Priestly. That is very kind of you." Castiel says and he picks up a few of Dean's fries. Charlie's food is still untouched and Dean actually shudders, when Castiel's hand touches his. God, he’s already so gone.

"So, what are you doing here in Santa Cruz?" Dean asks, because that's what Charlie asked him earlier and it seems like a good start of a conversation. Castiel takes another fry and seems to think about that for a moment.

"I was all over the world for the last few years, but I decided to visit my brothers here." Castiel says and he seems a bit lost at that thought. Dean doesn't really know what he could answer to that.

"Sounds nice." Dean says and he finishes his food. He can see that Charlie packs her things and is glad, that she will join them. Castiel sees her too and actually gets up. Oh. Dean thought they could still talk a bit, but maybe Castiel needs to get ready for his date.

"Why did you dye your hair red?" Castiel asks then and Dean is a bit surprised at that question.

"I don't know… I just like the color." Dean says in the end. He actually likes his hair in most of the colors. Even the purple he had last summer looked kinda awesome. But he knows most people hate it.

"Do you change colors often?" Castiel asks again and Dean shrugs. Not as often as he would like, but he doesn't want to destroy his hair completely.

"Depends. If I like something new, I'll do it." Dean says and Castiel nods. He seems satisfied with the answer.

"I really like blue." Castiel grins and Dean laughs. Was that really a suggestion? He’s had blue before and maybe he could even find one that mirrors Castiel's eyes. Dean's eyes widen at his own thought. It's dangerous when he starts thinking stuff like this.

"So did you dress like that for me?" Castiel says and Dean chokes on his drink. He coughs loudly and now Castiel seems worried. He clasps Dean on the back, until Dean can breath again. It is as if he can't do anything else other than embarrassing himself in front of Castiel.

Dean's shirt today says _'It's tourist season, shoot them at will'._

"Uh what?" Dean tries again and he has to cough once more. Maybe he had heard it wrong. Still his thoughts wander to a few clothes Dean has, he could dress up for Castiel. His skin feels hotter than it did a second ago and Dean is sure his freckles are full on display now.

"The shirt. I'm technically a tourist." Castiel says and Dean looks down at the bright orange shirt. He loves to wear it in the summer, to anger old pensioners, who come to visit Santa Cruz. And Castiel is actually right. He did kinda wear it for him, since he was so jealous of Azara.

"Uhm… but I wouldn't want to shoot you." Dean stumbles over his words, but Castiel seems to be glad with that answer. He pats Dean's back again and it takes Dean a lot not to shudder at that.

"Very well. I will see you at the shop tomorrow, but I have to leave for now." Castiel says and he leans down. Dean isn't sure what's happening, but Castiel actually presses a kiss to Dean's cheek. Dean gasps, when he sees that Charlie looks right at them.

"Oh." Dean gasps quietly, but Castiel ignores him.

"Bye Charlie." Castiel says louder and his voice doesn't sound as soft as it did seconds before. Castiel even frowns at her before he turns around, not even waiting for an answer. Dean is still frozen on the bench, when Charlie sits next to him.

"So, you and Castiel?" She asks and Dean finally moves. He gets up and frowns down at her.

"No that would be… disgusting! He was just joking!" Dean says loudly and he is clearly freaking out. He leaves her with the food and almost runs home. He doesn't even see how disappointed she looks at him.

 

*

 

Dean feels worse the next morning. He shouldn't have yelled at Charlie like that. She didn't do anything wrong and just because Dean is a coward, she shouldn't be suffering because of him.

Just as Dean parks his car, he sees that Gabriel is working on his old van. Dean gets out of his car.

"Hey, what's wrong with the Batmobile?" Dean asks laughing and Gabriel rolls his eyes at the reference. Dean shrugs. He loves Batman, he thinks it was a good joke.

"It won't start. Can you hop in and see if we can give it a go?" Gabriel asks and points at the driver’s seat. Dean loves cars, has since he was a kid. His dad drove an Impala, it was so beautiful and Dean really misses his baby.

He even worked at Bobby's garage for a bit before starting at the sandwich shop. Bobby doesn't have a lot of customers, so he can mostly deal with it alone and his other coworkers. Dean only helps him out sometimes on the weekend.

Dean sits down in the driver’s seat, puts his hands on the steering wheel and awaits Gabriel’s next instructions.

"Okay try it now." Gabriel says and stays behind the van. Dean tries to start the van, but it just rumbles very loudly, before Dean gives up again.

"I got nothing." Dean says and Gabriels huffs frustrated. Dean kinda loves this old van too but it always breaks down like that. He still could give it to Bobby again. For a few minutes it's silent and then Gabriel speaks again.

"Okay, try it once more." Gabriel says and it still doesn't work. Dean kinda wants to slap the steering wheel, just as he looks up, he sees Rowena walking by. The second she looks at him the engine works again and Dean gasps.

He looks back into the side mirror and sees that Gabriel is just as shocked as he is. Dean almost wants to laugh, but he is still confused. Maybe she really is a witch?

"That was weird right?" Gabriel says and Dean nods.

"That was weird." He mumbles and then gets out of the van. He follows Gabriel back into the shop and looks around. Of course all the girls are already there. Dean ignores Eileen and Azara for now and looks at Charlie.

"Uhm… hi Charlie." He says and she looks at him. Oh yeah she is still very angry. Dean coughs slightly and looks down.

"Hello." Charlie says and then looks at the dishes she is doing. Dean feels incredibly bad.

"C-can we talk later?" Dean tries and Charlie nods once. Okay, he doesn't deserve more than that and he takes a deep breath, before he goes over to his stove. Just then Eileen's computer beeps again.

"Ohh look. Fuzzzy_22 right on time." Dean grins and Eileen, who was looking at him, laughs loudly.

"Shut up." She says and slaps Dean on the chest. Dean just laughs a bit more and grabs his towel. He really thinks it's cute that Eileen has a dream guy like this. Maybe he should really start to look online, too. Who knows maybe that would work out for him as well.

"Can't believe it, Eileen, falling for a Cop." Dean says anyway and he told her that joke before. She still knows how much Dean wishes that the guy is actually cool and really does like her. Or Dean would need to break some bones.

"Why do you think he is a Cop?" Azara asks and throws another glance at the computer. Dean shrugs.

"Ahh Fuzz? What else could it be?" Dean asks and gets his apron, so he can finally start to work. It always helps to think of something different when he cooks and he really needs to stop thinking about Charlie or even worse Castiel.

"Well I'm thinking about Peach fuzz, since he is probably 12 or something." Azara says and she is laughing. Eileen rolls her eyes, even though Dean knows sometimes she is really worried about that.

"Or he has a hairy back." Dean says, just to make Eileen laugh again. It works and Dean presses a kiss against her temple. Someday, and he is sure of that, Eileen will meet this guy and it will turn out to be a good thing.

"Maybe he is a peach farmer from Georgia." Charlie says now and Dean winks at her. Even though he really fucked it up yesterday, Charlie is still awesome. She fits perfectly into the group.

"Oh Darling, you don't want to move to Georgia." Crowley says now and he pets his little dog. Dean isn't sure what kind of dog it is, but it always growls at Dean.

"I'm not moving anywhere." Eileen answers and Crowley blows her a kiss. The next minutes they all spend thinking of new ideas for the nickname from Fuzzzy_22. Charlie has some spectacular ones and Dean really has to laugh.

Then the door opens loudly and Dean looks up. There are two guys coming in, with sunglasses on, of freaking course. Just what Dean needs right now. He hastily turns around, so they don't see him directly.

"Who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and douchebags." Dean mutters to himself, but Charlie actually laughs at that. Dean really hopes he can apologize to her later and maybe… maybe he would tell her.

Dean glances to them again and both guys take off the sunglasses, only to put them in their hair. He can hear Azara gasping. Of course. She is still trying to get Castiel, but why not also take other guys, too?

Not that Dean would want any of these two assholes.

Charlie wants to take their order, since it's her turn, but Azara pushes her away. Charlie stumbles against Dean and he turns around at that.

"What can I do for you two?" Azara asks and she even blinks innocently up at those two guys. Dean grinds his teeth.

"We ordered them online. Two spicy Italian subs." One of the guys says and Dean wants to puke at his voice. British. He can already hear that and is now sad that he wore his 'shoot the tourists’-Shirt yesterday.

"How big?" Azara asks and her voice sounds so hoarse, that even Dean presses his eyes closed.

"Ten inches." The guy says again and Dean snorts loudly. Ha, he wishes. Not that Dean can’t show ten inches himself. But that's a different story.

"Total?" Azara wants to know and Dean nearly bites on his hand, so he wouldn't start laughing at that. God, he could never flirt like that. Castiel would bite his head off, or laugh at him.

"Each, of course." Asshole answers and Dean looks around for the sandwiches he prepared just a few minutes ago. Charlie already holds them up and she doesn't seem impressed at all that Azara is flirting so much.

"I'm Azara." She says and takes the sandwiches from Charlie to put them on the counter for the two guys. The guy doesn't answer this time, so Dean looks at him. He still doesn't wanna miss a second of this. The guy just puts down some money and then goes to the door. The other guy follows him and only when he is directly at the door he winks at Azara before they leave.

Azara sighs quietly.

"Did that work for anybody else?" She asks and Dean rolls his eyes. It didn't work for him at all.

"What about Castiel?" Charlie asks and she watches Dean as she says it. Dean feels uncomfortable and looks down. Maybe Charlie already knows that he likes guys too. But if she judged him for that, she wouldn't be so angry about what he said, right?

"Still working on it." Azara says easily and then goes back to the counter, since new customers are coming inside. This time there are only girls and Dean looks back to Charlie.

"Do you… can we maybe talk now?" Dean asks and since Gabriel isn't here, they could talk in one of the backrooms. If Azara and Eileen need help, they could just call for them easily. Charlie nods and puts her apron on the counter.

Dean signs to Eileen that they will be back and Eileen nods.

"What do you want?" Charlie says and oh yeah. She is still very angry at him, even though they just made those jokes a few seconds ago.

"I… wanted to apologize." Dean starts and he already fiddles with his hair. He always does it, when he is nervous. His hair isn't really red anymore. It looks faint and pale, since Dean really wants to try another color. Maybe… blue.

"Good. For what?" Charlie asks and Dean swallows dryly. Of course she wouldn't let him go this easily. Not that he deserves easy anyway.

"For being an asshole?" He says and Charlie nods again.

"You were an asshole. But I want you to understand, why I'm angry." Charlie says and she is still staring at him. She is shorter than Dean, but he still feels a lot smaller right now.

"I… was afraid. I mean I don't think of Castiel that way and I don't want the others to think that I'm…" Dean can't even finish his lie. He already tears up at the thought. Charlie seems to see that and is now a bit worried.

"Priestly?" She asks and he hides his face. God, why is he like that. He should just man the fuck up, like his father always told him. Dean always had a big heart, at least that's what his mother told him when she was still alive.

"S-Sorry." He chokes out and he sits down on one of the chairs. Charlie kneels down in front of him, she really seems worried about him now.

"I'm not a-allowed…" Dean tries again and he can't help but choke on his tears. John would kill him, if he knew what Dean is talking about. He would show him again what it means to like another boy. Dean presses his fingers against his side. Where the scars are still the most prominent.

"You aren't allowed?" Charlie whispers and she puts her hands on Dean's thighs. Dean just nods and tries to hold his tears back, but it doesn't really work. John would already slap him for crying.

"It's b-bad." Dean sniffles and he wipes his eyes. Charlie is probably thinking that he is such a weirdo. But when he peeks through his hands, he sees her smiling.

"Oh Priestly." Charlie whispers and then gets up again. She presses his face against her belly and strokes his hair. Dean isn't used to such a comfort and now he really starts to cry. God, he is such an embarrassing mess. Castiel would never like him back.

"S-sorry." Dean tries again, but Charlie just shushes him.

"You know when I was younger I sometimes thought about other girls. I liked their soft curves and their pretty hair. When I first told my parents, they were furious. So I tried to please them and dated a guy. I had sex exactly one time with him and I hated it. In the end I got Kevin out of it, but my parents ruined that, too." Charlie whispers to him and Dean sobs quietly into her shirt.

Charlie knows how he feels. Even though she had it a lot worse than he had.

"But after that I didn't care about their opinions. I dated girls and let me tell you, I love it. I'm a lesbian, Priestly and I'm proud of it. That's why you hurt me yesterday, when you said it was disgusting." Charlie continues and Dean looks up at her.

"I'm so sorry Charlie." He says and she smiles down at him.

"It's okay, Priestly. I mean it's not, but at least I understand why you said it. Do you.. are you gay?" She asks and Dean wants to laugh at the question.

"I like men and women, I think, but… my dad he… he caught me with a guy and… let's just say I had to explain a few very nasty wounds." Dean explains and somehow there are still tears running down his cheeks. Charlie wipes them away and strokes his cheekbone.

"Fuck your dad." She says and Dean chuckles through his tears.

"I know that, kinda. But I still..." Dean shrugs, since he doesn't know how to even answer that. Sure, he hasn't seen John in the last few years, but he is still afraid that, the moment he touches another guy, his father will show up and beat the shit out of him.

"Have you ever had a real boyfriend?" Charlie asks and Dean shakes his head.

"No… uhm, Benny was my first and only kiss with a boy." Dean says and he has to smile. Benny was really a sweet guy. Dean wasn't fully in love with him, but they were friends.

"Aww, so much for you still to learn." Charlie grins and Dean laughs as well. He is glad that he can talk to Charlie about that. She is so strong and he admires that she is open with it, too.

"We're good?" He still asks and Charlie holds up her hands. She helps Dean to get up again and then hugs him. She presses her face against his shoulder.

"Of course. I'm sorry I was so angry. We can figure this out together." She says and Dean hugs her back. Maybe… maybe that is the best friend he needed in his life all those years.

"I like Castiel." Dean says out loud and it's weird to do so. But he also feels a lot better. He likes Castiel. He _likes Castiel_! Dean grins.

"I know! I could see it as soon as you looked him." Charlie grins back and she breaks the hug. Dean gasps at her. How could she already know stuff like that, but she just shakes her head.

"But he likes Azara." Dean mutters and all the happiness in his voice is gone. Charlie frowns.

"You think? He still hasn't said yes to a date." Charlie reminds him, but Dean shrugs. He’s been so sure that Castiel only wants to make Azara wait. Maybe he is the man Azara always wanted.

"Maybe." Dean mutters and then Charlie grins again.

"And he kissed your cheek." Charlie squeals and Dean smiles, too. He even carefully puts his hand against his cheek.

"Yeah he did." Dean says smiling.

"Okay baby. If you ever need help, I'm here. Anytime. So, you feel okay to go to the front again?" Charlie asks and Dean nods. He really feels a lot better now, even though Castiel is still way too much out of his league.

At the front of the shop, Eileen is still at her computer and Azara is sitting with Crowley and pets his tiny little dog.

To Dean's surprise, Castiel is in the shop as well. He smiles when he sees Dean, but as soon as Charlie comes out of the room as well his smile slips.

"Hey." Dean tries to say and he slowly walks over to the counter.

"Hello Priestly." Castiel says and he tilts his head, while he studies Dean's hair and then his face. Dean is sure, that he blushes. Maybe Castiel can see that he just cried. Is it now his fate to always embarrass himself in front of Castiel?

"Are you waiting for an order?" Dean asks and Castiel shakes his head.

"No I was at the burger place you mentioned yesterday and I really liked it, but I had to talk to Azara." Castiel explains and Dean is at least proud that Castiel likes the burger place. Even if it technically is a competing business for them.

And of course he was here for Azara and not Dean.

"So I wanted to ask, if you would like to join me sometime? We could eat there together." Castiel says and Dean sees how Azara looks at them. Dean panics.

"Oh, uh... sure. I mean Charlie what about you? Eileen?" He tries and Castiel frowns at his words. Dean doesn't know what to do.

Castiel was talking about all of them right?

"Okay I mean why not." Castiel says, but he doesn't sound so happy anymore. Dean doesn't know what to do. Surely Castiel hadn't thought about a date with him. Or had he?

"I see that red is almost gone." Castiel says then and points at Dean's hair. He is now leaning against the counter and watches Dean very closely.

"Y-yeah. I thought about changing it." Dean stammers, because Castiel actually smirks at his words. Oh fuck. That is so hot. Castiel doesn't seem shy at all like this.

"Good." Castiel just says and then he takes one of the napkins, that are on the counter right next to his arm. He carefully folds it and then wipes it over Dean's cheek. Dean blushes and tries not to blink at all.

"What are you doing?" He asks and Castiel chuckles.

"Fixing your make-up, _baby_." He says and Dean feels that he blushes so hard, that his hair is in no competition to his face. Charlie called him ‘baby’ too, but there was no way Castiel heard that, right?

He doesn't even know what's more embarrassing. That his eyeliner is all over his face and Castiel feels the need to fix it or that he flushes at the word ‘baby’. Fuck.

"T-thanks." Dean says and oh god there really are black stains on the napkins. He would totally kill Charlie for letting him come back like that.

Before Castiel can say anything else, Azara comes to them. She is smirking and presses against Castiel.

"So, when will we visit the burger place?" She wants to know and now Dean wants to strangle her. He shouldn’t have said anything when Castiel asked him to eat there with him.

"I'm sure we’ll find a time." Castiel just says and then he grins at Dean again.

"You know what my problem is, Priestly? You." Castiel says still laughing and with that he says good-bye to the others and leaves. Dean doesn't say anything. Castiel just insulted him! He feels a bit used.

Maybe he and Azara are only making fun of poor Dean.

"Your shirt." Eileen says grinning and Dean looks down. Oh.

 _'You know what your problem is? You're stupid'_. The shirt says today.

Somehow Castiel seems to have a weird fetish with his shirts. Dean pouts. He isn't the idiot here. The shirt was meant for both Castiel and Azara, since he was angry this morning, when he thought about them.

"Your make-up is still a mess." Charlie laughs and Dean throws his towel at her, before he runs to the bathroom to fix it.

 

*

 

The next day, Dean doesn't wear one of his shirts. Well firstly because he doesn't want Castiel to make another joke and secondly… what if Castiel really hates them? Dean knows that even if by some miracle, Castiel likes boys, he is still out of Dean's league.

Hell Dean isn't even from the same planet.

So he just wears an old flannel and cuts the sleeves off. It kinda reminds of his days as a hunter and he runs his fingers over the fabric. He thinks of Sammy and sighs. His brother is better off if Dean doesn't call him back. He at least made that decision last night.

He can still remember how he went to Stanford to search for Sam, after John left. He even found him, but Sam looked so happy. He was sitting in the lunch hall with a blonde girl and was smiling so broadly.

Dean didn't want to ruin his life again. So he left and somehow ended up in Santa Cruz, where his car broke down and Bobby found him.

"Morning." Dean says, when he comes in and Charlie smiles at him. He is glad that he talked to her yesterday. He still feels a bit lighter, even though Castiel still confuses him to no end. Eileen waves at him, but she is actually focused on the computer. Seems like Fuzzzy_22 is online.

"Okay, I'll see you later. No, can't wait for it." Azara says into her phone and Dean raises his eyebrows at her. Normally she likes it more to flirt in person.

"Just Castiel." She says, when she sees how Dean looks at her. Dean looks down. Of course.

The door opens and Dean tries to concentrate on that. But the customer also seems to be on the phone, so nothing Dean can really do. He still ignores Azara and looks at the orders that are already pinned against his stove.

"What? What my problem is? My problem is that we got married in the first place. That's what my problem is." The guy says and Dean frowns. Wow straight guys are a work of art.

He giggles at his own joke. But he actually feels better now. To accept it at least for himself. Well and Charlie, but he knows he doesn't need to be ashamed in front of her.

"Hello." The guy says and Dean ignores him. He sounds like an asshole already. Metatron is written on his name tag. What a weird name. And of course the asshole wears his sunglasses inside. Does Dean need to say more?

Dean sees that Eileen is still looking at her computer, so of course she doesn't hear the guy. Somehow, she seems very concentrated on the screen and Dean decides the asshole can wait until Eileen wants to talk to him.

"Hello?!" He says again and he puts his sunglasses on the counter. Eileen seems to see that and looks at him.

"I'm s-sorry." She stutters and the guy doesn't seem satisfied with that answer.

"I'm sorry." He mocks her and Dean puts his spatula down. Nobody talks to Eileen or any of his friends like that.

"I ordered a 12-inch veggie sub. Does that look like twelve inches to you?" He asks and he holds a sandwich up that definitely isn’t twelve inches. Dean raises his eyebrows, but the the guy still behaves like an asshole.

Sadly, Gabriel isn't here to fuck him up.

Before Dean can do anything, Azara walks by him and stands next to Eileen. She leans over the counter and looks at the guy. Dean can only imagine how she pouts up at him.

"You know how girls are not good with measurements." She says all innocently and of course the guy totally falls for it. Dean sees how he looks down at Azara's neckline. Yeah of course.

"My last boyfriend told me that this was twelve inches. So go figure." Azara continues and she holds up the sandwich the guy had put on the counter. She even shakes her ass a little and Dean rolls his eyes.

The guy nods and then tries to put the sunglasses back on, but the cable of his phone is wrapped around the sunglasses and Dean almost has to laugh, when the guy realizes it and tries to take the sunglasses off again.

"T-hanks." He mutters and then turns around, only to nearly stumble out of the door. He even swears at himself on his way out and Dean snickers for a short moment. Until Azara's attention focuses on Eileen.

"Okay, Eileen. You never screw up an order." Azara says and Eileen swallows. Oh, seems like something is really wrong then. Dean stands behind Azara.

"Yeah what happened? Fuzzy's mum finally took his computer away?" Dean tries to lighten the mood, but Eileen looks really sad and Dean stops talking.

"No, actually, he wants to meet." Eileen says and she sounds so incredibly nervous about it. Dean had always wondered why it took Fuzzzy_22 so long. Eileen was so wonderful, everybody should be excited to meet her.

"Don't do it Eileen. You don't know anything about him." Azara says and even she sounds worried about her. Even though Dean never understood how she could so carelessly go home with every man she just met.

"Why is that a problem? I mean, you go home with everybody." And Castiel. Dean says and he is glad he swallowed the last part down. He doesn't mean to sound like an asshole again, but he can't help it around her lately.

"I talk to them first, dork. Besides, this is Eileen we're talking about. I can take care of myself." Azara says and she seems angry as well. Dean makes a face at that. She always says stuff like that and even though she likes Eileen, it just sounds mean.

But, what if the guy is really dangerous? Dean never even thought about that and now he tries very hard not to panic at the thought. Dean swallows loudly.

"Okay reality check guys. The guy could come from Madagascar." Charlie tries it now but Eileen shakes her head at that.

"Yeah or Schenectady." Dean tries it and Eileen rolls her eyes at him. That was probably hard to read from his lips and Dean has no idea how to sign that.

"He just lives an hour away from me." Eileen says and Dean gasps. Oh, they really already talked about their hometowns.

"Did you tell him you were in Santa Cruz?" Azara asks and Dean nods. What if she really told him and that guy was already stalking her. Dean looks out of the store window, but can't see anybody. But who knows?

Eileen shrugs and Azara groans.

"Seriously Eileen. Please tell me you didn't tell him your real name." She says and luckily this time Eileen shakes her head. Dean takes a deep breath. Okay, at least she did the right thing with that.

"So what now?" Charlie asks and she puts her hand on Eileen's.

"I will think about it." She says and Dean nods. That seems like a fair decision for now. Maybe Dean could just go with her and take a look at the guy, to see if he is dangerous. Before Dean can say something like that, the door opens and Azara grins.

Dean looks to the door, because maybe it's Castiel?

But instead he sees those two asshole guys again that Azara flirted with. Today even without their sunglasses. Dean is impressed. Charlie sighs loudly and Dean grins.

"Oh Christ." He mutters and Azara leans on the counter again.

"Azara, right?" says the asshole who talked the whole time yesterday and he smirks at her. As if she is just a piece of meat. Dean kinda wants to press his face onto his grill.

"Mystery man, right?" Azara asks back and Dean swallows a gag.

"Arthur." He just says and Azara seems happy to know his name. She leans even closer to him and whispers his name quietly.

"So, any Italian subs again?" She asks and Arthur laughs quietly, before he nods. Azara just watches him for a moment and Dean doesn't know what she is searching for in a face like this, but okay.

"Just one?" Azara wants to know and Arthur grins.

"One for Mick, too." He says and Mick waggles his eyebrows. Very subtle. Dean starts preparing their sandwiches and wonders how hygienic it would be to spit in their subs. It would be at least funny. For him.

Dean turns around with his finished sandwiches and carefully puts them on the counter. He mocks Azara and leans over the counter as well, while he slides the sandwiches over towards Arthur. Mick raises his eyebrows and Dean smiles as cute as he can.

"Nice hair." Arthur says and unlike Castiel is sounds like an insult, even though his voice gives nothing away. His hair is still a bit red, but there is also already some blue in it. Sometimes he likes to mix up the colors before changing it entirely. And since his life is chaotic as well, his hair should be too.

"Thanks Arty." Dean says and he even bats his eyelashes all innocently and flirty at him. As if he wanted Arthur to fuck him and not Azara. Arthur and Mick don't seem impressed, but Charlie laughs into Dean’s shoulder, when he goes back to her.

"See you around, Azara." Arthur says and he goes to the door. Only to look back at Azara and wink at her again. Mick just follows him quietly and Azara sighs loudly again.

"Well, Arthur and Mick, isn't that gay." Dean says and he doesn't know where that came from. Okay, actually, he does. Since he can't understand how Azara can flirt with assholes like these guys, when she could have Castiel.

Charlie huffs behind him and Dean mouths an apology to her. She rolls her eyes but then boxes his shoulder. Dean pretends to be hurt and she slaps him again. But apparently she seems to understand that he isn't ready to tell everyone just yet.

"How about we spend our lunch in the library today." Charlie says, when they do the dishes a few hours later. Dean frowns.

"In the library? Why would I do that?" Dean wants to know. Honestly the library mostly reminds him of Sam and he never even stepped foot in the one in Santa Cruz. Charlie grins.

"Lets just say, I heard Azara saying earlier that Castiel apparently spends a lot of time in there." Charlie smirks and Dean gasps.

"Oh no." He says, but she is already pulling at his hand. He just told her that he liked Castiel and she wants to set them up already.

"Oh yes! Azara? We will be back in an hour." Charlie yells over her shoulder and pulls Dean along. He sighs loudly, but follows her. How bad could it be? He could still hide behind some books.

"So when I said I would support you, I didn't mean you should make pretty eyes at assholes like Arthur and Mick." Charlie says and Dean has to laugh. Yeah, he for sure looked a bit stupid but he caught them at least off-guard and that was already half the pay.

"Believe me, I would never want them." Dean promises and Charlie seems to know that already. At last, she winks at him and then hooks her arm under Dean's. Dean smiles. He didn’t even know how much he missed having a friend like that.

While he likes Gabriel, Azara and Eileen, he never really did anything with them besides working together. Not in their free time at least, but Charlie seems to be perfectly okay with that. And so is Dean.

"I know. Castiel is the one you want." Charlie says and she is grinning even more now. Dean kicks a little pebble away and he blushes.

"I don't even know him." He finally says, even though he already admitted that he liked Castiel yesterday. But isn't that weird, crushing on someone he barely knows?

"You don't really know me either." Charlie grins and Dean pushes her a bit, only for Charlie to shove him back, too. Charlie just laughs and they are giggling like two kids the whole way to the library.

"So, what will you do about Kevin?" Dean says quietly, when they sit down and Charlie found them some comic books. Dean didn't even know they had those here or that Charlie likes those, but he grinned at her when she put down some on the table.

"I'm not sure. I just… I miss him, even though I never held him in my arms. I just saw him in pictures and knew his new parents’ names. Joana and Ruby. I picked a lesbian couple, just to fuck with my parents." Charlie grins at the end and Dean has to laugh, too.

Yeah, somehow that sounds like Charlie.

"But, then how do you know it's him?" Dean asks carefully. He doesn't want to crush her dreams like that, but her child could be anywhere.

"Well, I know the parents’ names and Ruby wrote me letters with pictures of him in the first years. It… it stopped when Kevin was three years old. You know they even asked me if I would be okay with him being named Kevin, can you imagine that?" Charlie looks up at him and Dean can see the unshed tears in her eyes.

He carefully holds out his hand and she takes it.

"Why did it stop?" Dean asks and Charlie just shrugs.

"I don't know… I was ready to give up. But then I finished school and got better with computers and maybe I hacked myself into the server of the hospital?" Charlie says and she tries to sound sorry about that. Dean gasps.

"You did what?" He says and now Charlie seems guilty.

"Well, I needed to know! Anyway, I know it's him. You saw him the other day at the beach, right? The woman with him was Joana. I don't know where Ruby is, but they seemed really happy. Kevin can even draw! He showed me a picture." Charlie says and she rubs over her eyes with her free hand. Dean smiles.

"I bet he is just as amazing as you are." Dean says finally and Charlie nods. She doesn't seem to want to talk about it anymore.

They spend the next minutes in silence until Dean finishes his comic and Charlie tells him where he can find more. Dean really needs some Batman now. Not that he has a crush on Bruce Wayne or anything.

"Hey Freak."

Dean swallows dryly and stops his movement in the middle of fishing a Batman comic out of the shelves. He doesn't have to look who said that. Arthur. And Mick is probably with him.

"Oh _Arty_." Dean says and he finally turns around. The Batman comic pressed firmly against his chest. Somehow Dean feels like in High School again. Only back then Dean didn’t look the same as he does now.

"Call me that again, sicko and I will smash your teeth in." Arthur says and he looks really angry. Dean glances around, but he can't see anyone else. Not that anyone would help the freak.

"I apologize." Dean grins, but he just hopes they really wouldn't beat him up in a freaking library. He thinks about calling for Charlie, but what would that help?

"I don't know what you're in for, freak, but if you want Azara, let me tell you she is mine." Arthur says and Dean frowns. What the hell is going on in Arthur's mind? He talks about Azara as if she was just a thing he could own.

"Maybe it's you who I want." Dean says, because he was never good at keeping his mouth shut against bullies. Something he learned from Sam.

The first blow hits him directly in the stomach and he coughs for air. _Oh fuck_. Apparently, the Arthur guy wasn't in the mood for jokes. Dean’s still having trouble breathing. He winces in pain. He doesn’t want to make a scene, so he presses closer against the bookshelf.

There was a time where John forced him to fight like this. Showed him how he could really hurt people, but Dean never wanted that.

"How do you like that, Sissy?" Arthur says and Mick behind him laughs. Dean doesn't answer to that, he still gasps quietly.

"What are you two doing there?"

Dean doesn't look to the owner of the voice, but he is very glad that somebody is helping him. He didn't want this to end in a real fight. Mick and Arthur don't seem impressed at all.

"Just talking to a friend." Arthur says while he presses his hand down on Dean's chest once more, before he finally leaves. Dean tries to breathe and to calm down. He is used to this. He should know how people are.

"T-thank you." Dean says and when he looks up, he looks into his favorite blue. Castiel seems worried and stands directly in front of him. Seems like Castiel doesn't really understands the concept of personal space.

"Are you okay, Priestly?" Castiel asks and he presses his hands against Dean's shoulder. His hand is so warm, Dean feels as if he leaves a handprint right there on his shoulder where Dean has a tattoo. Dean nods. He is always okay.

"I'm fine." He says and then takes another deep breath. Okay. Did he just practically out himself to those douchebags? Fuck he is so dead. Even though he would never date an asshole like Arthur, they for sure think he's gay now.

Dean doesn't realize that Castiel is still standing in front of him.

"Priestly?" Charlie asks and Dean sees that she is looking around the corner. She seems happy and even winks at him. So she didn't see what Arthur and Mick did then.

"Charles?" Dean mumbles back and she giggles. Maybe because Castiel is still so close and still touching him. Charlie points into the direction of their table.

"I met Jo and Kevin and they want me to spend some time with them. Will we see each other later?" She asks and sounds really excited. Dean smiles back, he is so happy for her.

"Sure. No problem." Dean says and he waggles his eyebrows. Castiel frowns at that, but Dean just ignores that and watches how Charlie walks back. When he goes around the corner as well he can see Charlie talking to Kevin. He can't see Jo, but Charlie seems to be doing homework with Kevin.

"Are those Charlie's friends?" Castiel asks and Dean raises his eyebrows. He wasn't even aware that Castiel is still with him.

"You could say that." Dean answers, since he wouldn't tell Charlie's secret to anyone. Charlie already told him and Eileen and she even filled Azara and Gabriel in earlier. Azara had hugged her and even Gabriel seemed very sad. Dean knows how much he always worries about all of them.

"And she leaves her date just like that?" Castiel says and Dean's head snaps so fast to him, that it actually hurts.

"Her date? We aren't… dating." Dean says and why would Castiel even think that. Then Dean groans. Yeah sure. He knows why. Castiel saw them getting food together. Dean holding her while she cried, she called Dean 'baby' and they were holding hands in the library, too.

"You're not?" Castiel says and he sounds almost not interested. Dean nods and looks down.

"Yeah, why would she want a freak, heh?" Dean tries to sound light, but the situation with Arthur and Mick really hurt him--and not just physically.

"That's why you’re not wearing any of your shirts today? Trying to be normal?" Castiel says and it sounds a bit weird. Not as if he’s making a joke. Dean only feels worse.

"Maybe." Dean just says and he takes his comic and goes to another free table. He wouldn't want to disturb Charlie and Kevin. Actually he sees Jo joined them again, too and is talking to Charlie. They smile at each other.

"Well your hair is even wilder today." Castiel points out and Dean frowns at him. Is this all some kind of joke for him? Before Dean can answer anything, because yesterday he had thought Castiel had flirted with him, Castiel's phone rings.

"Oh. I Should go. Azara is already waiting for me." Castiel says and he nods towards Dean before he leaves again. Dean sighs and concentrates on his Batman Comic.

It doesn't work.

 

*

 

Charlie seems in a very happy mood today and is actually drawing on the wall. Dean hadn't ask her so far what it will be, but he can already see the sea and the beach. He can't wait to see it finished.

"So, then Kevin practically whines at me to teach him to draw and I couldn't resist. Luckily even Jo agreed, that he could use a teacher, even though he clearly has my talent." Charlie says and Dean watches her.

"That sounds good. But will you tell her at some point?" Dean says, because he doesn't want to see Charlie hurting. Charlie stops drawing and seems to think about if, before she shrugs.

"Yeah probably. I mean it would totally be the right thing to do, but for now I'm just happy I can see Kevin more often. I was already at theirs yesterday." Charlie says and Dean throws his apron at her. She laughs.

"Charlie! Already?" Dean says and she shakes her head.

"Well, yeah okay Jo is really hot but I was just there to babysit him. Jo apparently has some very weird work times." Charlie says and Dean nods. Yeah sometimes work is crazy. If he had a kid that would probably be difficult too, since Dean stays often really late.

"So where is the other mother?" Eileen wants to know and Charlie shrugs.

"I don't know. I didn't ask, she probably just thinks I'm a college student, who needs the money." Charlie explains and Dean nods. This is already a very complicated story.

"And what if she calls or comes to visit while you're there?" Eileen asks and she is still concerned. She is always like this and cares so much for her friends. Dean grins.

"Then you slap her for not sending any more pictures." Dean says to lighten the mood again and Charlie just shakes her head at him. Dean shrugs.

"I really hope this works out for you." Dean says then and the door opens. He is already on the way to his workplace, when he sees it's Azara and not a customer. She looks happy. Way too happy, but not weirdly grinning, no. She is softly smiling.

"Oh, look it lives." Dean mutters and starts to clean some of the glasses, that are already in the sink.

"Barely." Charlie laughs, when she stops drawing and actually looks at Azara, who sits down at the counter. She puts her bag on the ground and continues to smile. Almost… almost as if she is…

"I'm in love."

Dean nearly crashes the glass in his hands. She's _in love?_

"No, you're in heat." Dean answers grumpily. He can't help it. He only remembers how Castiel said he would meet Azara. She is in love with Castiel.

"Oh look. A man pretending to acknowledge the difference." Azara says and this time she doesn't sound so happy anymore. Dean flinches and look at the dishes. He knows what love is. He just… can't act on it.

Sometimes he hates it, how Azara speaks to him, but he can be an asshole too. A jealous asshole apparently.

"Finally found an Eleven, hm?" Eileen asks then and at least she smiles at Azara. Charlie seems still a bit shocked, too.

"Twelve! I did things with him, I've never done before." Azara daydreams and she reaches for a cup of tea, when Eileen holds it out for her. Dean frowns even harder. Just as he thought, Castiel was perfect.

"Oh really, like what? Wait, for a second date?" Dean says and he sees the hurt in Azara's eyes as he says it, but he doesn't take it back. Even though he doesn't like to admit it, he is sure that Azara at least assumes that Dean likes Castiel.

"Urgh. The service here sucks. What did I miss at our staff meeting?" Gabriel says loudly when he comes in and Dean goes back to working. Gabriel looks at him, but doesn't say anything and Dean is very thankful for small miracles.

"Well, Azara is in love. Oh or lust, depending on who you're talking to." Eileen starts to explain and Gabriel looks up at that. Azara smiles shyly at Gabriel and Dean sometimes believes they talk without saying anything. Gabriel nods then.

"Really? Proud of you." Gabriel says and Azara just smiles even harder. Gabriel even holds his hand up for a high five and Azara laughs, when she clasps his hand.

"Charlie is digging herself deeper and deeper into the pit of deceit with the Harvelle's." Eileen continues and Charlie winks at Gabriel.

"Good. Nice to see that our company tradition for making the worst possible decision in any situation has been passed on to the next generation of employee." Gabriel smirks and even Dean has to huff at it.

"Priestly has gotten in touch with his feminine side…" Eileen continues and this time Dean smirks himself. After that comment from Castiel yesterday, he decided to be even less normal.

Because let's be honest. Dean is everything but normal. Since he had already started to dye his hair blue, he had continued that and his faux mohawk is a wonderful blue. Okay not as wonderful as Castiel's eyes. But still.

He also wears a kilt. He dad would kill him right on the spot. Dean loves it. He wouldn't hide behind his shirts and hair colors anymore. He would rock them, because Dean actually loves his hair and clothes.

"I love my kilt." He says loudly and yes that feels good.

"And I have reached a decision on meeting Fuzzy." Eileen ends it and Dean is surprised by that. Before he can actually freak out over it, Charlie takes a step towards Eileen.

"And?" Charlie asks and Dean is sure that everybody is holding their breath.

"Well, we have all the same interests, he makes me laugh all the time, and I tell him everything. It's not a hard decision really. We have to meet." Eileen says and she is grinning widely. Dean has never seen her this excited.

"Right on!" Dean says happily and this time he holds up his hand for a high-five and Eileen glady takes it.

"And what if he is a woman?" Charlie asks and she watches Dean as she says it. Dean is a bit afraid of the answer, because for sure Charlie is testing the water for herself and Dean.

"We'll find a way to make it work." Eileen says easily and Dean is so relieved, he could hug her. Instead he just winks back at Charlie.

"Ooh, if that happens, can I watch?" Dean says and Charlie actually slaps him for it. Dean laughs and kisses her cheek. Eileen just shakes her head smiling at them.

"What if he is 14?" Azara asks this time and Eileen shakes her head.

"He's driving himself to the meeting point, so he's gotta be at least 16, right? And that's not that much younger." Eileen explains and Dean shrugs. Well it actually is a bit, but who is he to judge.

"Convicted felon?" Gabriel says and Dean shudders at the thought alone.

"Well, he's out now, so it couldn't have been that bad." Eileen says casually and Dean can't believe how calm she sounds. Dean would freak out so much, he would drive his car into the first tree he could find.

"Paralyzed?" Bobby asks and he actually squints at Crowley. Fergus smiles down at his little dog and Dean wants to roll his eyes. Oh now he understands. He…isn't alone. Well he already has Charlie but maybe he had Bobby all the time.

"Doesn't matter." Eileen says and she sounds very sure about that. Bobby blows her a kiss and Eileen catches it easily.

"Ugly as a demon's ass?" Crowley asks now and Eileen snorts.

"Looks are really the least of my worries. I mean he is a great guy." Eileen says and Bobby holds his glass up to cheer at her. Crowley seems happy and kisses his little dog.

"Well, what if he's got, like, crazy-ass hair and… and, and more artificial holes in his head than real ones?" Dean asks quietly and hopes that maybe he gets a nice answer, too.

"I could never be that lucky." Eileen says and Dean ducks his head. Oh god he is blushing again.

"Okay, so when and where?" Charlie wants to know and Dean is still trying to fight his damn blush. He can see how Gabriel smirks at him, but he actually enjoys this moment. Maybe somebody would finally accept him the way he is in the future.

Even if it isn't Castiel.

"Next Saturday at a club in Swanton. He will be the one with the white rose on his table." Eileen says and Dean swallows his squeal. But that is soooo adorable.

"Oh that's so romantic." Crowley says and he puts his hand over this heart. Dean winks at him.

"Gabriel, I wondered if there was any way that I could have the van?" Eileen says and Gabriel's smile says already enough.

"Of course. Anything for true love." Gabriel says and Dean cheers loudly. Eileen thanks Gabriel and he just waves her away. Gabriel is always generous and never wants a thank you for it. Dean is still very excited for Eileen.

"Well I'm coming with." Azara says then, while she and Gabriel are having a silent conversation again, Dean tilts his head to one side.

"Really?" Eileen asks happily and Azara nods.

"Me, too." Charlie pipes up and she hugs Eileen as hard as she can. Dean's cheeks are hurting from all the grinning. Maybe at least Eileen could be happy.

"You guys are the best." Eileen says and she sits back at her computer. Maybe she writes Fuzzzy_22 now that she will meet him.

"Yeah count me in!" Dean says but all three girls are shaking their heads.

"Forget it." They even say at the same time and Dean gasps. What, but that is totally unfair. He wants to see this Disney prince as well! Dean would love to have a dinner, too. Where someone waits with a white rose for him.

"Can we get to work now?" Gabriel says and Dean pouts.

"I'll drive?" He asks but they are still shaking their heads.

"No." Charlie says and she turns towards him. She rolls her eyes at him and apparently wants to tell him something, but Dean doesn't understand.

"I'll… buy the beer?" Dean tries to bat his eyelashes.

Eileen just laughs at the answer and then really starts writing on her computer. Even Charlie goes back to drawing and they all leave Dean standing like this. Dean pouts harder.

"I never get to do anything fun." Dean says and he is actually a bit hurt, as he throws his towel away. He thought after the last week he was really part of the group now. But apparently he was wrong.

Charlie squeezes his hand and mouths that she would tell him later.

"Dean would you go on a supply run?" Gabriel asks a while later and since the shop is almost empty Dean shrugs. Why not?

"What do we need Captain?" Dean asks and it's Eileen who answers him. She is grinning so much, that Dean knows it's something bad.

"We're out of tampons at the lady restroom." She says as if that was nothing and Dean, who was on the way to the door, stops. Wait, what did she say? Dean must look stupid, because the girls all laugh at him. Dean wants to pout again.

"Oh look at his face." Azara says and she smirks at Dean.

"Don't worry about it. I'll get them tomorrow." Eileen says and she writes it down on her notepad. Azara is still grinning at Dean, as if he was afraid. Pah. _As if._

"What, do you think I'm afraid of a box of tampons? No worries mate! Come on look at me. I'm the poster boy for maturity." Dean says happily and he shows off his kilt. Even turns around once, so they call all check out how good his ass looks in it.

"Okay maybe not, but I can do this! I'm comfortable enough with myself to do this for you ladies." Dean says and he takes a deep breath. Yeah he can do this. He can totally do this. He nods to himself again.

"If you need help. Call me." Azara says and she carefully moves her finger over Dean's chest. He swallows and then nods. He can do this. No big deal.

Ten minutes later he is in the small supermarket.

He can totally not do this.

There are like a dozen different boxes in every colour Dean can think of and he has literally no freaking idea, what the right kind of tampons are. Is there even a freaking right kind? Dean fumbles with his phone and it nearly falls down.

"Code blue. Hostile territory. Aborting mission." Dean says and he still stares at all those boxes. Of course Azara can't just help him. He can hear her sigh.

"Who is this?" Azara asks and Dean whines. Loudly. A few other customers turn around and Dean ducks his head.

"Your favorite coworker." He says and tries to go for something cocky. Azara snorts once and then the line rustles, before it’s back.

"Nope Eileen is still here." Azara says and then she is laughing. Dean pouts, before he remembers that she can't even see that. He just sighs and he only has to wait a few seconds, before she finally continues.

"Alright. Stay focused, Priestly. Describe the situation." Azara says then and she seems to be laughing a bit. Dean pouts again, even if she can't see it, he feels better about it.

"Initial recon appears to be bag or box?" Dean asks and he is a bit ashamed. He feels like he should know stuff like that, but while he had dated girls before, he never had a real girlfriend for whom he could've bought stuff like that.

"Box." Azara says easily and Dean looks at the shelf again. Cool, there are still like a dozen boxes. Oh, the pink one looks actually cute. Dean shakes his head.

"Box. Roger that." Dean says, but he waits for more information.

"Alright, look around chest height. Do you see anything marked ‘regular’?" Azara asks and Dean tries to focus on the boxes. The font is, of course, so small that it takes him a second. Dean groans quietly.

"Okay, regular. Uh here's one, but it says _‘slender regular’_. How can something be both ‘slender’ and ‘regular’. Isn't that mutually exclusive?" Dean asks, and an old woman stares at him. Dean waves the box he holds in his hand and she turns around.

"Priestly…" Azara sighs and she sounds annoyed, or maybe even amused. Maybe she is both - just like this slender and regular boxes. Dean hums.

"Unless, of course, they're implying in the mysterious underworld of Femboxes that ‘slender’ is ‘regular’." Dean says and does that make sense? Maybe it does. It sounds a bit mean to be honest.

"Are you done?" Azara says and Dean nods, but then he sees a box to his right.

"Well, what about the ‘Super Pluses’?" He says and takes the box out of the shelf. Huh, the pictures aren't really nice but it says it's ‘for more comfort’.

"No." Azara says shortly and Dean looks up.

"Why not? They sound better." Dean says and he is already reading the description on the backside of the box. Yeah, if he were a woman, he would definitely want those.

"Don't, they're huge." Azara sighs and she sounds so pained, that Dean puts the box back immediately.

"I thought you liked huge." Dean says and sadly she also can't see his wink. Yeah, sometimes Dean is just hilarious, he wants to pat himself on the shoulder.

"This is one area where bigger is not better." Azara says and Dean shudders. He doesn't even want to imagine what it's like to have cramps every month and bleed from that… _area._

"Yeah well, shouldn't you buy all the protection you can get?" Dean asks and he takes another box, has written those words on it. He would like every protection he could get, if he had this.

"Listen. If a woman needs an emergency dipstick in the ladies room of a sandwich stop, she just wants something that's going to hold her over until she can get home and use one of her own. Based on her own style preferences and flow requirement." Azara explains and Dean nods, that actually does make sense and…

"Azara!" Dean gasps.

"Yeah?" She wants to know and now she seems a bit bored with this conversation.

"That word. Flow. That's nasty. It's gross." Dean says and Azara just sighs very loudly. Dean shudders again and nods to himself. Okay. _Get those images out of your head, Dean._

"Just buy the slender regulars." Azara says and Dean takes the box he had in his hands first. Yellow. Well, not really his color, but okay.

"Over and out. Heading back to base camp." Dean giggles into his phone and he already turns around to go to the checkout.

"Roger that. Over and out." Azara says and with that she ends the call. Dean puts his phone away and then nearly runs into someone.

"Hello Priestly." Castiel says and he looks stunning as always. Dean actually takes a step back and he can see that Castiel looks down at his kilt. Dean blushes.

"Hi C-Cas." He presses out and Castiel tilts his head.

"My name is Castiel." Castiel just says and Dean wants to snort. But that would probably be rude. But what if Castiel hates the nickname.

"Oh uhm… it's just a nickname." Dean tries and Castiel is smiling at that.

"Then I like it." Castiel says and then he pushes his cart towards the checkout. Dean just stands there like an idiot and decides to follow him, but Castiel looks even better from behind. Dean ducks his head and tries to get rid of these thoughts. Castiel isn't his boyfriend.

Dean really goes to the checkout now and stops when he sees two boys waiting there. They are always in the supermarket and make dumb comments. Luckily, Castiel is already outside, so he wouldn't hear what the boys will say to Dean.

He doesn't want Castiel to know that most people here hate him, even though apparently… Castiel isn't a big fan of his way of dressing either.

"Hey Ed, check out that dude's dress." One of them says and Dean tries to swallow down his shame. He likes his kilt. He isn't going to let that hurt him. They both laugh loudly at him now and Dean looks at their matching shirts. _Ghostfacers_. Hm.

"I can see it, Harry." Ed laughs and Dean tries to just ignore him. He feels as if the whole room is staring at him now. Dean likes attention, but only from… his friends.

"What?" Dean asks quietly, when they can't stop laughing.

"Nice breadsticks, dude." Harry says and he snickers even more loudly. Dean looks down at the tampons he has in his hands.

"Oh these?" Dean asks and he tries to smile.

"Are you having a not so _fresh day_ , Freak?" Ed asks and he pretends to take pity on Dean. They both start laughing again and then there is that word again. Freak. Dean is sure he never heard another word this often in his life.

It's what John called him, when he had kissed Benny.

"Think it's funny that I'm buying tampons?" Dean asks and he finally decides that it's enough. He doesn't care what those kids think of him. He is a grown ass man and he can buy freaking tampons. No man should be ashamed of doing that for a girlfriend or a friend.

"A bit." Harry laughs and Dean nods to himself.

"You gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, understand what that means? Obviously not." Dean says and he is grinning to himself. He can't really help it. It's his turn at the checkout, so Dean puts his items down.

"See, this means, uh, that there is a woman with whom I'm so intimate that we're both comfortable with me buying her most personal possessions. This means that our relationship is so solid, so trusting that I'm not embarrassed doing this at all." Dean explains and he can see that even more men are looking at them now. Dean feels a bit proud. He will show them that he isn't a damn freak. Even though…he is not interested in any girl at the moment. Well nobody needs to know that.

"It means, my friends, that instead of hanging out at a grocery store having a sausage fest with another guy, playing his skin flute, or just doin' a little…" Dean stops at that and even makes a blowjob noise and gesture. Well, at least he thinks, that’s what it would sound like.

"…all day long. I'm getting laid by a beautiful lady, every day. And she takes it downtown. And everyone here knows it." Dean proudly waves with the box of tampons. A few men are grinning and nodding to his words. Dean swallows.

Yeah this feels good. For sure, they wouldn't show him the respect, if they knew he actually wants to get laid by someone different. Charlie would smack him for making another joke about that.

The cashier holds up his hand and Dean shakes his head.

"Come on man, no high-fives. Gimme some love." Dean says and holds his fist up, so the cashier can bump it. Dean smiles while he is paying. He did that so good. Just as he leaves, Dean turns back to them all.

"Peace!" He says and then shows the peace sign, before he changes it, to his middle fingers. _Idiots_. All of them.

Before Dean can do anything else he runs into someone on his way out and falls. Luckily for him he lands on that person. His groceries aren't that lucky and fall all over the sidewalk. Dean groans and then sees on who he landed.

"C-Cas!" Dean breathes and only now realizes that he is practically sitting on Castiel's lap. With his kilt a bit higher on his thighs. Dean hastily gets up and he really hopes Castiel didn't see anything.

"Priestly, are you alright?" Castiel asks, even though he is the one who landed on his back. Dean coughs and kneels carefully down to get his things.

"Y-yeah sure. I'm sorry, Cas. I didn't see you. Are you hurt?" Dean asks and Castiel shakes his head, he brushes the dirt from his pants and then helps Dean to clean up the mess. Dean stops when he sees how Castiel grabs the tampons.

"Did you lie to me Priestly?" Castiel asks and holds up the box.

Dean flushes an ugly red.

"W-why do you think I would lie?" He asks back and damnit. He is such a bad liar normally, he is lucky that he could do the stunt in the store.

"You said Charlie and you aren't dating." Castiel says slowly and Dean's eyes widen.

"Yeah, because we’re not." Dean presses out and takes the box out of tampons from Castiel's hand. Why does he care anyway. He could buy Azara some tampons next time.

"But you said you had a beautiful lady waiting for you." Castiel says and he tilts his head in this adorable way again. Dean groans quietly. Of course he heard that.

"Yeah I was lying. I don't…I mean, I'm not interested in any girl…at the moment. Those are for the sandwich shop. I just lied so the guys wouldn't make fun of me… like they always do." Dean says quietly and he hopes he didn't say too much. Castiel seems to think about that.

"Why would they make fun of you?" Castiel says and Dean snorts.

"Come on man. I'm wearing a kilt." Dean fusses and he shyly plays with the seam. He always tries to look so confident, but it hurts him, when they call him freak. He likes to wear that stuff. So what?

"And you look very beautiful in it." Castiel says slowly and Dean gasps quietly.

_What?_

"Uh?" Dean makes and he tries to hide his face behind the bag in his hand. Why is Castiel always saying stuff like this. Maybe… maybe he is just playing with Dean. Wouldn't be the first time for him.

"But you know what I would like even more?" Castiel says as he turns around to go to his car. Dean frowns at the ugly golden car that Castiel opens.

"What?" Dean asks still kinda glaring at the pimp-mobile.

"If you would surf naked." Castiel says and then gets into his car. Dean presses his hand against his chest, because those words are written on his black shirt today. Only then does Dean really registers the words.

Castiel wants to... see him _naked?_

Dean stands there for more than ten minutes, before Azara calls him and ask where the hell he is. Dean finally moves, but he is still confused.

What does Castiel want from him? Dean would need to test that.

 

*

 

"Priestly." Charlie says and she whistles, when he comes into the shop. He grins at her and gives her a high-five. Seems like Eileen and Azara aren't there at the moment. Maybe they got a short shift today.

"You like it?" Dean snickers and turns around so she can see the backside of his shirt.

"Oh well you know if I liked men, I would totally ask for my sample." Charlie says and she winks at Dean before she goes back to her drawing. Not even Crowley or Bobby are there at the moment.

"So what's up?" Dean asks and fiddles with his apron. Charlie raises an eyebrow.

"I was at Jo's again." Charlie says in the end and she is not really smiling. Dean's face falls as well.

"Did something happen?" Dean wants to know, because maybe Jo knows now, who Charlie is and would be angry. Maybe Charlie can never see her son again.

"Well Jo was somehow really late, so Kevin was in bed already and I watched him. And you know I uhm… what if I'm in love with Jo?" Charlie rambles and Dean gasps.

"What?" He asks, because maybe he misheard. Charlie looks at her fingers and shakes her head.

"I know, I know. I just met her, but she came home and then drew a heart on Kevin's hand, so he would know that she is home safely and that he is loved and I just…" Charlie sighs and Dean knows what she means. Jo sounds like a really cool girl.

"And?" Dean says and he means, what happened then, because he knows that's not all.

"Well I told her I made Kevin eat something and that there are leftovers she could eat. I didn't eat with Kevin, since I thought that was a bit awkward, but Jo actually asked me then to eat with her." Charlie explains and Dean nods.

"So did you? Eat with her?" Dean questioned and Charlie nods slowly.

"Yeah and it was nice. She even had a nice wine for us and I felt… I felt so good. But then she started talking about her wife and I was such an idiot. I asked where she was and why Kevin is only with her and not her other mother." Charlie says and she sits down in one of the booths. She looks exhausted and Dean puts his hand on her shoulder.

"What did she answer?" Dean whispers and Charlie groans.

"She said she doesn't feel comfortable talking about it and then I just apologized and left." Charlie says and Dean strokes her back.

"Hey it's okay. Maybe something bad happened to her wife, but I'm sure she isn't angry with you." Dean tries to calm Charlie down, but it doesn't work. They spend the next hour in silence and Dean can see how much Charlie is lost in her thoughts. He wishes he could help her.

Only when Azara and Eileen come in later, Charlie is back to her laughing self. Dean pretends to be fine as well.

"Priestly, can I ask you what your real name is?" Charlie asks at some time and Dean who is at the counter between her and Azara, stops in his movement. R-real name?

"I'm sure your first name isn't that bad." Charlie continues and Dean lets out the breath he was holding. Okay fuck.

"Oh, it is." He just mutters and tries not to snicker himself. His fake first name is really bad, but he needed it as a cover. Sam or John would never believe that he picked such an idiot name for himself. Normally Dean only went for musicians as cover names, so they would never expect this.

Okay, Priestly is similar to Presley. Sue him, he loves Elvis.

"I can't believe you won't tell us." Azara says now and Dean rolls his eyes. Azara did try from the first moment to get his real name and while Dean did need it as a cover, he still hates it.

"Believe it." Dean just says and then turns away from them. Just in time, because the door opens and Gabriel comes in. He seems very happy.

"Hey Gabe. Can you tell us what Priestly's first name is?" Azara asks and she smirks at Dean, as if she knows something Dean doesn't.

"No idea." Gabriel just says and Dean is very thankful for that.

"But didn't he have an application paper?" Azara asks and Dean snorts. He wouldn't even know how to write something like that.

"I don't think he filled one out." Gabriel says and Dean laughs. Yeah, he didn't. He was so scared the first week that John would come back and get his ass, that he didn't fill anything out. He only got his small house, because Bobby rents it to him.

The phone rings and Dean looks up. Normally nobody ever calls them anymore, since Eileen is way faster with the computer. And well you don't have to talk to people. Azara is there first and answers.

"Celeste?" Azara asks and she sounds confused. But Charlie nearly jumps over to the phone and Dean frowns. She didn't even give Jo her real name? Because seriously, it couldn't be anyone else calling her. Dean sees how Charlie takes a few steps away with the phone.

"Hi." She says and she already sounds a bit stressed. When Dean looks at her, she mouths 'Jo' at him.

"Yeah, sure I am." Charlie says and she plays nervously with the cable of the phone. Dean can't help it, he already goes closer to her. Hell, even Eileen gets up from her chair.

"No, hey you know what? I shouldn't have asked." Charlie says and she sounds sad. Eileen is standing in front of her now, so she can read Charlie's lips, while Dean presses against her in hope to hear what Jo is saying.

"Yeah okay, I understand." Charlie says and she glares at Eileen and then at Dean. She even manages to turn around, but Dean obviously follows her. Sadly, it's that moment, Azara tries to bring a few sandwiches to their customers and Dean tries to get the cable away from her, but it doesn't work.

Everything falls down and Azara huffs annoyed, when even her tray falls down, very loudly. Dean hopes he isn't blushing and he can see how Charlie closes her eyes angrily.

The sound of the tray doesn't seem to stop at all and then Gabriel sneezes loudly. Dean gasps. Oh no.

Charlie hangs up and then glares at them. Dean swallows and tries it with a very very cute smile. Charlie glares even more.

"Do you… wanna talk about it?" Dean asks and Charlie throws a sandwich at him before she goes over and starts drawing again. Dean can see how much pressure she uses for her pencil and he whines quietly.

Seems like she doesn't want to talk.

It's hours later, when they are already cleaning up, that everybody is chattering as if nothing happened. Eileen is now coming over to Charlie's drawing.

"Okay, I got it all worked out. We drive up Saturday, check out the camping ground, and Gabriel said that if we fold the seat down, we have enough space for all of us." Eileen explains slowly and she is checking her paper again and again.

"Yeah right, as if you would spend the night with us." Azara says and she is grinning. Dean huffs annoyed, he is still angry that he isn't allowed to come with them. He thought he was part of their group, too.

Eileen says nothing and studies her paper, way more concentrated than before.

"What?" Azara asks, when she carefully touches her shoulder, so Eileen looks at her.

"Nothing." Eileen signs back and oh she is really nervous, if she does that around them. Only Crowley and them are left anyway.

"You never… you're still…" Azara says and she waggles her eyebrows. Dean nearly lets a plate fall down again and tries not to look at them. Okay. This is nothing he really wants to know about his co-workers. Charlie grins at him.

"And? There is nothing to be ashamed off." Eileen says quietly and Dean feels as if his face is on fire. Did they all forget that he is here, too?

"You're right, If I had waited, I wouldn't be in the mess I am now." Charlie says, but she is still smiling softly at Eileen. Dean knows she would never regret Kevin anyway.

"Yeah, so we aren't virgins, but you are. It's not a big deal, seriously, you're fine." Azara says and she carefully hugs Eileen, who cuddles back. Dean tries not to move. While he isn't a virgin anymore for the whole straight part, he never…never did anything with a guy.

Well fine. He never did much with women anyway, but he at least lost his virginity. Somehow.

Castiel would probably laugh at him. Hell, Dean is 27, it's fucking embarrassing. For sure, he wants Azara, because she obviously has experience, and she would know exactly how to make Castiel feel good. Dean wouldn't know anything.

Just as the girls break their hug, Dean's phone rings. He jerks a bit and then finally gets it out of his pocket. Oh. Speaking of the devil.

"Hey." Dean says shortly and just like Charlie he takes a few steps away, until he is in their storage room. Luckily the girls seem to be too deep into their conversation.

"Hey Dean."

Dean shudders a bit at the voice and then nods to himself. It's been a long time since he had heard that voice.

"Benny." Dean says shortly and the other one laughs. It sounds a bit husky and Dean has to smile. He really misses Benny.

"I just wanted to check in with you." Benny says and Dean nods to himself. With all the drama going on, he kinda forgot about Benny's monthly phone calls.

"So, you're okay?" Dean asks and Benny laughs again.

"Let's say I'm 'Winchester fine', yeah?" Benny answers and Dean snorts. Well, for once, he is very lucky that the girls didn't hear that. But, then again, that doesn't sound like the answer Dean wanted to hear.

"Why, what happened?" Dean asks and he fiddles with his shirt.

"Found a few vampires in California, but don't worry I took care of them. And no Dean, I'm still stealing my blood from the blood blank." Benny explains and Dean hadn't even realized he was holding his breath.

"That's good. California? What are you even doing here?" Dean asks and Benny seems to think about that for a moment.

"I wanted to see the sun again. You know we aren't really dying in the sun right? And we don't sparkle either." Benny answers and he huffs out a laugh. Dean smiles, too.

"Will you visit me in Santa Cruz?" Dean asks quietly. They only saw each other once or twice, after Dean settled down here. It was a bit awkward at first, but Dean just… he needs to know that Benny is still on the good side.

He couldn't live with knowing that he let a monster run away. So Benny always has to call him.

"If you want, I could be down there next week." Benny says and he is always like that. Letting Dean make the decisions. Dean never was in love with Benny, but sometimes he wishes he really was.

"Sure, sounds good actually." Dean says and he means it. He could use one of Benny's bear hugs.

"So, how are you, Cher?" Benny wants to know and Dean watches the door, in case the girls decide to go search for him. He left it open, so they could at least not eavesdrop his conversation without him knowing.

"Like always. I'm still working at the sandwich shop and I still… well, I haven’t seen Sam or John again." Dean says quietly and his heart squeezes painfully, when he thinks back to the last time he saw them.

It was Sam's birthday and he had just turned 18, when Dean came back to their motel room, only to find him gone. He had written a letter and Dean doesn't know how long he just sat on his dirty bed and read the letter again and again.

John was furious that night and Dean still has this pain in his right arm sometimes.

It was only two years later, that Dean was done with John and all the hunting. John was treating him more like a burden, than a son and Dean went out for some drinks. They were hunting some vampires and one of them was Benny.

Dean had sat all night in the bar, talking to him. Benny had told him how his family 'was being awful’ and Dean hadn't known he meant they were actually vampires and out for blood. Benny was nice and funny and he asked Dean if they could meet up again.

So they did the night after and the night after that. Dean wasn't in love, but yes he was crushing on Benny. So he was so stupid to even invite him back to his motel room after a few drinks. When Benny saw all those weapons and books, he confessed everything to Dean.

How his own family had turned him, how he hated it, and he promised Dean that he didn't drink from a body. That he was stealing blood from blood banks and hospitals. Dean believed him. Hell, Dean helped him.

It took John two weeks before he actually found the vampire's nest. Dean had talked with Benny about it and Benny had said he didn't care about those monsters. It was obviously a lie, but Dean had killed them all.

All but Benny.

"Dean..." Benny whispers into the phone and Dean shudders.

John had celebrated their hunt with too many drinks and Dean went off to see Benny again. One last time. Benny had kissed him and Dean remembers how the blood had rushed into his face, how fast his heart had been beating.

And then John had seen them. Dean had let Benny run away and faced John's anger all alone. The next morning, John told him that both his sons were dead to him and left Dean sitting in the motel room. Without any food or money.

 _"I don't want a freak as a son. Was he the last vampire he missed? Do you enjoy not only sucking dick, but a monster's dick?"_ John had screamed and Dean presses his eyes close. He can't cry now. He can't.

"Hey Dean." Benny says softly again and Dean inhales shakily.

"S-Sorry. I'm still…" Dean stammers, but Benny shushes him.

"Yeah I know. I will see you in a few days." Benny says and with that he ends the phone call. Dean smiles sadly at his phone. Yeah, he risked everything with getting close to Benny, but he would never regret it. Benny was a good friend and he had done more for the world in the last years than Dean.

Benny was actually looking for Vampires he could kill. Dean…had stopped with the hunting. At first he had searched for some easy hunts. But, soon enough he couldn't find any hunts in the close proximity and somehow he stopped searching at all.

But, he learned that he enjoyed a life like this. Even though he had enough nights he was ashamed to be this selfish. Dean sighs and tries to calm himself down, so he could go to the girls again.

He takes his bag with him, since he would leave in a few minutes anyway.

"Yeah, listen, it's not really different from when you do it yourself." Azara says and Dean actually puts his hands over his ears. No. He doesn't want to think about that.

"Okay, I gotta go. See you." Dean says hastily and the girls all laugh when he practically runs out of the shop. At least nobody asked him where he went before.

"Hello, Priestly." Rowena says and she is cleaning her store windows. Dean smiles at her and comes closer.

"Hey Ro. How is it going?" He says and looks around if he can see Gabriel somewhere, but apparently Rowena is alone. Dean looks into the window and sees some of the stuff she sells. Some stuff looks kinda ….

Dean loses the thought, when Rowena puts her fingers against his cheek.

"Like always, Priestly." Rowena says and she is smiling warmly at him. Dean smiles back while she strokes his cheek. He liked Rowena from the first second, even though sometimes she does creep him out.

"Will you go the fun fair tonight, Priestly?" She asks and Dean nods. He hadn’t thought about it before, but it was fun last time, when he went there with Eileen. Maybe he should really check it out.

"Yeah sounds good." Dean says and Rowena takes her hand away. Dean looks up and he sees Gabriel glaring at him from the other side of the streets. Oops. Dean hastily takes a step back.

"So yeah I should get going." Dean says and he salutes to her. Rowena shakes her head laughing and holds out Dean's jacket.

"Don't forget this, darling." She says and Dean takes it a bit stunned, before he turns around and with a wave to Gabriel, he actually goes down to the beach. Maybe they still have that amazing stall, that sells the best burgers ever.

It only takes Dean a few minutes to get there and he looks around. It still looks the same as last year. Dean doesn't, but that's the point right?

He isn't even at the first stall, when he sees a familiar trench coat standing in front of one of the menu cards from a stall. Dean smiles and decides fuck it. He could talk to Castiel like a normal human being.

"Hi Cas." Dean says and he even does this awkward little wave. Oh, great start. But Castiel actually smiles when he sees him.

"Hello Priestly." Castiel answers and he even puts his hand on Dean's shoulder, who is for sure already blushing again.

"What are you doing?" Dean asks and points at the stall Castiel was watching so intensely. Castiel shrugs.

"I was wondering if the burgers were as good as the one from your favorite Diner." Castiel says slowly and he seems to still think about this. Dean sees how Castiel eyes the menu card again and he stands close beside him. Maybe a bit too close.

"How about we try them?" Dean says and then already holds up his hand. He orders two burgers and some fries with them and a milkshake for himself. Castiel doesn't add anything, so Dean nods his thanks and waits for the food.

Instead he looks around and he can see how full the fair is this year, but then again, the weather is wonderful tonight and he can already see that the sun will set soon enough.

"Your order." The guy behind the counter says and Dean nods his thanks. He pulls out his money to pay for everything and doesn't even wait for Castiel to pay his stuff. No big deal. Friends do buy each other food, right?

"Would you get us some napkins?" Dean asks and points toward the other end of the stall, because he knows that he is a messy eater, thanks. Castiel nods and Dean searches for a free table for them. There is only one tiny bar table left in the corner, but Dean shrugs and goes over to it.

Castiel comes back and puts the napkins down.

"Thank you." He smiles at the food and without another word, he already bites into his burger. Dean has to laugh at that eagerness, but then his belly rumbles quietly and he starts with his fries.

"And, what do you think?" Dean asks between bites and Castiel smiles so widely, that Dean wants to kiss him. Right here and right now.

"These make me very happy." Castiel says and points at his burger again. He even licks his lips and Dean just stands there like an idiot and focuses on those pink lips. What would he give to feel them against his skin again.

Just maybe… on his own mouth this time.

"You are right, they are good." Dean says instead, after he takes a bite out of his own burger. Fuck, this fair should definitely be open the whole year. Dean needs burgers like this. He moans around the next bite and he blushes, when Castiel tilts his head to one side again.

_Oops._

They eat their food in silence and Dean takes a straw for his milkshake from the napkin tower Castiel bought over. Dean wouldn't even remembered needing a straw, but seems like Castiel was focused like that.

"So uh… will you stay in Santa Cruz?" Dean asks and he takes a sip of the milkshake. Vanilla. God he loves it so much. Yeah he has a sweet tooth, sue him.

"I'm actually thinking about it. I really like it here and I think I may have found a reason to finally stay in one place." Castiel says so casually, as if he would be talking about the weather. Dean nearly snorts into his milkshake. Nearly.

"Oh that's nice." Dean mutters and his heart sinks. Castiel is in love with Azara and he would stay here for her. That means Dean would have to see her again and again with Castiel. Hell they would even kiss in front of him, a sight Dean is happy to avoid so far.

Dean puts his milkshake down on the table and leans on it, so he can still drink from the straw.

"Yeah I think so too." Castiel says and then he takes another straw, that Dean didn't even see and puts it into Dean's milkshake as well. Dean's eyes nearly fall out of his head.

Castiel just continues to smile at Dean, while he drinks from the same freaking milkshake as he is and Dean gasps. Of course he was just trying to swallow the milkshake and he ends up coughing very hard. Castiel squints at him.

"W-wrong pipe." Dean manages and he coughs again, just to be sure. Castiel nods and takes another sip of the milkshake again. Dean waits till he is done before he does the same. _Oh god_ , they are actually sharing a milkshake.

"This was very wonderful." Castiel says, when the food is gone and even the milkshake is empty. Dean's face is still on fire and he saw a few glares that they got, but he actually feels pretty happy, too.

Castiel makes him happy.

"So… how about dessert?" Dean asks and he hopes Castiel says yes. They could still go around the fair for a bit and Dean doesn't have to go back home alone, just to cry into his pillow or something. But then again maybe Castiel is here to wait for Azara, who has the late shift today.

"Sure. What do you have in mind?" Castiel asks and they leave their table together. Dean shrugs and looks around.

"Well normally I'm a sucker for pie, but they are only good if they are homemade. So, how about some candies instead?" Dean asks and he points at another stall a few steps away. There are some fruits covered in chocolate and Dean smiles. Sam would talk his ear off, for eating unhealthy stuff like this.

"Do they taste good?" Castiel asks back and points at some of the apples. Dean shrugs.

"Yeah, sure, it's the only way I eat fruit." Dean says, while they wait for their turn. The answer has Castiel frowning again.

"Priestly, that is not healthy." Castiel says very seriously and Dean giggles at that. Before Castiel can continue his talk it's Dean's turn and he gets himself some strawberries covered in white chocolate. Castiel orders a banana in dark chocolate and this time he pays for the food. Dean smiles awkwardly.

It's almost like a date, if they keep doing stuff like this.

The next minutes they just walk around and look at the different games and rides at the fair. Well Dean is maybe looking more than once to Castiel, because it's not funny how Castiel fucking licks this banana.

"I don't understand." Castiel says and he stops at one of the games. It's some game where you throw arrows against some balloons and can win some stuffed animals. Dean likes the basketball or shooting games more.

"What?" Dean asks and throws the stick from his strawberries into the trashcan next to him.

"It's not that difficult, why would you even try it?" Castiel says and he squints at those balloons. Dean snorts loudly. Castiel is really something else.

"Because, it is fun." Dean says and shrugs. Castiel continues to stare at the prizes and Dean sees Charlie nearly next to them. He happily goes over to her and just as he opens his mouth he sees Jo and Kevin as well.

"Hi C-Celeste." Dean stutters and Charlie rolls her eyes at him, but she is smiling too.

"Hey Priestly. Uhm this is Joana and Kevin." Charlie says then and Dean blushes furiously under Jo's gaze. Oh god, she looks ready to kill. Kevin is smiling at Priestly.

"I like your hair." Kevin says then and Dean hastily straightens his jacket, so Kevin couldn't read what was written on his shirt. Instead he kneels down to Kevin and lets him take another look at his hair.

"Thank you so much Kevin, I like your hair, too." Dean says quietly and Kevin smiles widely back at him. He seems really cute. Sometimes, Dean wishes he had kids too. He just… he always wanted a big family.

Having a nice little house, a husband, yeah he is ready to admit that now and two or three kids running around them. The apple pie lifestyle.

"So you work with Celeste hm?" Jo asks then and she still looks a bit intimidating. Dean gets up again, since Kevin is distracted with another stall anyway. He asks Jo for some money and then is gone.

"Yeah uhm… I'm the cook of the sandwich shop." Dean says a bit embarrassed, because yeah he knows that job is kinda crappy, but he loves it.

"Maybe I will swing by." Jo says and then she is smiling. Dean shakily smiles back and is glad that she doesn't hate him, because Charlie is important to Dean and he would hate it if her… whatever Jo was, wouldn't like him.

"Cool." Dean says and in that moment Kevin comes running back to them.

"Look what I got! It's a snake!" Kevin yells and Jo easily picks him up. Dean smiles at them, they are a really cute family. He can understand why Charlie is so gone on them.

"Priestly." Castiel says and when Dean turns around, Castiel is standing there with a cute bear in his hand. Dean has to chuckle, the fur of the bear is black, but he has blue eyes and he even wears a cute little tie and a trench coat.

"The bear looks like me." Castiel says and he sounds so bewildered, that Dean has to laugh. Even Charlie behind him starts laughing.

"Where did you get it?" Dean asks and goes over to him. Castiel points back at the stall he was watching so intensely earlier.

"I told you it was way too easy." Castiel says and he almost pouts. Dean carefully takes the bear and looks closer at it. How the hell did he manage to find this? He really looks like Castiel as a bear.

"It's for you." Castiel says softly and Dean is not sure, he really heard that. Castiel gives him the bear as if… as if… Dean ducks his head.

"Thank you." He mutters quietly and presses the bear against his chest. It's very soft and he can't help but press his face into it. But only for a second. He can hear Charlie's snickers anyway and even Jo is laughing now. Dean pouts.

When Castiel sees Charlie and Jo, he actually turns around and goes a few steps away from them. Castiel is ashamed of him. Dean swallows down some tears. Of course he is.

"Okay, we’ll leave you alone for now." Charlie says and she hugs Dean before they leave. Dean looks after them and he sees how Jo and Charlie both hold one hand from Kevin. He really wishes this works out for all of them.

Even for him.

"Priestly?" Castiel asks then and Dean turns back to him. Still pressing the bear against his chest, even though more adults are glaring at him now.

"Yeah?" Dean whispers back and smiles at him. He can't help it. Nobody ever shared a milkshake with him and nobody ever gifted him something, either. It's okay if Castiel doesn't want to be seen with him.

"Do you wanna go on the Ferris wheel?" Castiel asks and points at it. Dean hastily shakes his head. No way in hell would he go up there. He is really afraid of heights and he was never ever in such an evil thing.

"N-not really." Dean says, but now Castiel actually looks sad. Oh. Dean looks up at the Ferris wheel again and swallows. Maybe it's not that bad? And Castiel would maybe feel better if nobody can see them together anymore.

"But, we can go..if you like." Dean gets out and the smile he gets from Castiel is worth it. Dean never saw him grinning that wide and Dean has a serious problem now. He… is crushing way too hard on Castiel. Way too fast.

He is the one who will get hurt in the end, but Dean shrugs his thoughts off. He would enjoy this as long as he could.

There isn't a long line in front of the Ferris wheel and Dean calmly counts in his head till 200 before they are sitting down in one of the cabins of the Ferris wheel. Dean swallows. He could do this. He could totally do this.

"Oh." He yelps quietly, when the ride starts. He sits opposite from Castiel on a bench and presses the bear harder against him. Castiel seems a bit worried now.

"Do you not… like it?" Castiel asks and Dean shrugs. _Oh god. He is going to die on a freaking ferris wheel._ After years of fighting the devil, this is how it will all end. Dean whimpers.

"Hey Priestly." Castiel says quietly and then he actually gets up and sits beside Dean. The whole cabins start to shake and Dean whimpers even louder. He tries to hum some Metallica, but even that doesn't calm him down.

"S-sorry." Dean stutters and he leans into Castiel. He even tries to hide is face against Castiel's chest, when he realizes what he is doing.

"Are you afraid of heights?" Castiel asks worried and Dean nods.

"Y-yeah can't… I hate it." Dean mutters into his bear and Castiel carefully strokes his side. Dean sighs quietly and tries to calm down. Of course he ruins a wonderful day like this.

"I'm sorry, Priestly you should've told me." Castiel says, but the doesn't sound angry and he is still cuddling up to Dean, so that's a plus too. Suddenly the Ferris wheel stops and Dean's heart stops with it.

"W-what is happening?" Dean whispers, but Castiel chuckles.

"We're on top now, so it stops for a few minutes." Castiel says and then he looks up. The cabin has a big window on the ceiling and very slowly he looks up too. He gasps, when he sees all those stars.

"Sometimes I miss the beauty of heaven." Castiel says quietly, but Dean isn't listening. It looks so beautiful, that he even forgets the height for a moment.

"Look at the view." Dean whispers. He was always amazed by the sky and the stars. Sometimes he would drive with the impala and then suddenly stop, only to sit on her hood and to watch the stars from there.

"I am." Castiel says, but when Dean turns to him, Castiel is looking at him and not the stars. Dean stops breathing.

"Uh." He makes and then Castiel leans even closer. Dean can feel his breath on his lips and he whines. Just very quietly. He wishes he could kiss Castiel.

As soon as he thought that, he closes his eyes and a second later Castiel kisses him. Right on the mouth. Dean gasps quietly against his lips and god he tastes so good. Castiel tilts his head again and then he carefully puts his hands on Dean's cheeks.

Maybe Dean is already dying. Maybe their cabin fell down.

Dean has one hand still around his bear, but the other hand is in Castiel's shirt and he doesn't even know when that happened. Castiel kisses like a starving man and when he licks over Dean's under lip, Dean can't help the rumble in his throat.

Castiel groans too and then he kisses Dean like he means it. Dean is kinda dizzy, when Castiel pulls back and he doesn't even realized that the cabin is moving again.

"You okay?" Castiel asks softly and Dean smiles.

"Yes."

"So is your shirt today a real offer?" Castiel asks, but Dean just laughs and shakes his head. _'Orgasm Donor'_ is written on it. Dean is glad that Castiel didn't see the backside. _'Ask for your free sample'_ is something Dean would love Castiel to do. But… he doesn't think he will ever be this lucky.

 

*

 

"Priestly! The hell. Now tell me everything that happened between you and Castiel?" Charlie yells loudly the next morning and Dean ducks his head. Does everyone need to know?

Actually nothing happened. Well the kiss, but Dean wouldn't tell her about it in front of Azara, who is glaring at him now. Dean swallows.

"Uh uhm nothing… I was… I mean we were just… you know. Strolling." Dean says awkwardly and gets his apron. Oh god, this morning already starts bad. Well it started good before, when Dean was at home and woke up with Castiel's bear still in his arms.

It wasn't a dream.

"Well, let me tell you, I had a lot of sex last night." Azara snickers and Dean feels like he is going to puke. So… Castiel went over to her? After he… after he kissed Dean?

"Oh." Dean says and then turns around. He can feel the tears in his eyes, but he refuses to cry in this damn shop again. Nobody seems to realize that Dean is upset and he tries to listen to Charlie.

"Well, I was with Joana and Kevin at the fair and it was awesome. Kevin is the cutest angel ever and Jo… she asked me… well she wants to actually date me." Charlie says happily and Dean hears how happy Eileen and Azara are about that.

Dean would smile too, but he feels too sick for it now.

"I… I told her we would need to have a talk first though." Charlie says and Dean tunes out the rest of the conversation. Maybe he would talk to Charlie about it later.

"So we have chocolate, sleeping bags, personal items, chocolate, money, chocolate, and beer." Eileen says when she looks at her list for the weekend. Dean wipes his eyes and nods. Ah right the trip would start today. Without Dean. Of course.

"Do you think we have enough chocolate?" Charlie says and Eileen chuckles.

"I'll add it." Eileen says and writes it down again.

"Alright, Angels. The van is ready for you." Gabriel says and he wipes his dirty hand on a towel. On Dean's towel if he looked right. Dean sighs.

"Thanks Charlie." The girls joke and Dean pouts. He actually thought they would ask him to come along, but apparently, he is not part of their little girl group.

Before Dean can ask them again, the front door opens and the red hair, shows already that it is Rowena. Dean waves at her and she smiles.

"Greetings everyone." She says and Dean can see how Gabriel tries to make himself a bit taller. Dean snorts loudly enough for Rowena to hear.

Rowena ignores him, but she looks at Gabriel and for a second they both seem to be lost in each other's eyes. Dean smiles at them. He wishes they would finally make a move. Rowena puts her bag on the counter and pulls something out.

"Take care of your tempo." She whispers and gives Gabriel something. He just continues to stare at her, but eventually takes the small thing and puts it away, still smiling.

"I made something for your trip." Rowena continues and this time she puts something much bigger out of the bag. She carefully puts it into Charlie's arms.

"Does it have chocolate in it?" Charlie asks laughing and Rowena smiles at her.

"Sadly no. This is a mixture of herbs, petals and pods. It will bring protection to you on your journey." Rowena continues and Dean stops. Wait that actually does sound like a … but before he can continue, Rowena comes over to him.

"Priestly." Rowena says and he looks at her. What was he thinking again?

"Yes?" He asks and she smiles so warmly. Carefully she puts her hand against his cheek again.

"It's not a sin, Priestly. It's a celebration." She whispers and Dean blushes deeply. Oh god why does Rowena always know everything. But he had sinned! Castiel is together with Azara and he had kissed Dean!

Before he can actually break into tears and beg for forgiveness, Rowena shakes her head and turns back to the girls. She points at the bag.

"Now for this to work, you have to hold each other and release it into the wind blowing on the ocean." Rowena explains and even Azara seems to pay attention to her words. Dean is still a bit confused about that thing before.

"Okay, I have to run. I'm making lentils and tofu soup. Stop by if you want some." Rowena says and before somebody even has the chance to answer, she is already at the door. Her black dress blowing gently in the breeze. Dean sometimes feels as if he could fall in love with her, too.

Then he sees how Gabriel actually drools and laughs. Maybe he would force Gabriel to meet her again later. Alone.

"Wait, Rowena!" He starts but then he loses his nerve already. Gabriel would kill him.

"Are you a vegetarian because you love animals, or because you hate plants?" He says and how can he even ask such a stupid question. Especially with the shirt he is wearing today. Yeah she must hate him. But Rowena just smiles again.

"Oh Priestly. I do love you." She says and Dean asks himself, if she somehow can read minds, too.

"Hey I'm babysitting him by myself all weekend and I would love it, if you took a shift." Gabriel says and Rowena just smiles, before she leaves. Dean huffs. He doesn't need a babysitter. Thanks.

The girls get ready after that and put everything in the van. Dean stands outside and watches them. He imagines how it would be if he could go with them. He would like a car trip, too. Maybe meet some people. People who aren't in relationships with Azara.

"So, are you okay?" Eileen asks Azara, when they are ready to go.

"Sure. I mean, yeah, we fight sometimes, but the sex is still incredible and I think.. I think we have a good relationship. I don't wanna see other people besides him. He is… right for me." Azara says and Dean swallows. So it's not just the sex, they are actually in a relationship. Dean feels even worse.

"What about you, Priestly?" Eileen asks and Dean is a bit scared to even look at them. Well he can't tell them about the kiss obviously. Hell they don't even know that Dean likes guys, too. Dean shrugs.

"I'm still single." Dean says and Azara laughs.

"We all know that, believe me. What she meant was, will you be okay all alone here?" Azara asks and Dean's eyes widen and oh. Oh god, of course that's what she meant.

"Yeah, sure. Why would I not?" Dean asks and he gives his best fake smile. Apparently it's enough, because Eileen and Azara are already getting into the car. Dean can see how Rowena comes over again and talks to Gabriel right behind the van.

"Hey Priestly. I'm sorry that you can't come with us, but maybe you can spend the day and night with Castiel huh." Charlie says and she winks at Dean.

"Oh that's… uhm..." Dean stammers, but Charlie just hugs him very tight.

"Seriously, go get him tiger. I want details tomorrow." Charlie whispers into his ear and with another wave she runs towards the van. Dean tries to be brave and smile at the girls, when they start the van and drive away. Gabriel and Rowena are waving at them as well.

An hour later Dean is alone in the sandwich shop. Gabriel actually went over to Rowena and Dean hopes they finally figure everything out. But knowing Gabriel, they probably don't. Hell even Crowley and Bobby aren't here today.

Dean feels lonely.

"One second!" He says, when he hears the door, but is trying to clean up his damn stove. Someone had been using it again and the cheese was everywhere. He rolls his eyes, because that could've been anyone.

"No rush."

Dean gasps and turns around and yeah there is Castiel standing there again. In his his ugly trench coat, but Dean already loves it on him. Even though it clearly shows him how much Castiel is out of his league.

"Hi." Dean says and he wants to yell at Castiel. Ask him why he still sleeps with Azara when he has Dean? But maybe Castiel will never kiss him again, if he asks stuff like that, so Dean stays quiet.

"Hello Priestley. How are you?" Castiel asks and he leans onto the counter. He looks Dean up and down and then smiles. Dean shudders a bit under his gaze.

"Good. Uhm… Azara is not here." Dean says and he closes his eyes. God why did he have to say that.

"Yeah I know. She, Charlie and Eileen will meet the mystery guy." Castiel says and he actually makes air quotes at the last two words. Dean smiles, sometimes Castiel is so adorable. He hastily looks away.

"So what can I do for you?" Dean says and he mentally tries to focus on his lunch. He is too lazy to go to the beach today and will just eat one of his own sandwiches. Easier that way.

"I wanted to ask if you would like to spend today with me." Castiel says and Dean burns his finger on his lovely stove. He yelps and puts his finger into his mouth, before he turns around.

"Wha?" He asks muffled and pouts around his finger.

"We could eat together again." Castiel says and Dean still stands there like an idiot. Castiel just smiles and and holds his hand out. Dean doesn't really understand what Castiel wants, but then Castiel points at his finger.

"It hurts." Dean tries to explain, but at least takes the finger out of his mouth. Castiel chuckles and leans closer. He carefully takes Dean's hand in his and looks at Dean's finger. Dean just wants to say, that it isn't too bad, when Castiel closes his eyes and kisses his finger.

Dean is so shocked by this, that the pain actually does stop.

"Oh." He whispers and Castiel winks at him.

"So what do you say, burgers again?" Castiel says and pretends as if he didn't just kissed Dean's finger like that.

"I uhm… was in the middle of preparing lunch." Dean says as he pointed at the sandwich to his right side. It's not finished, but it would just take another two minutes.

"I see, but do you mind if I join you? It's Saturday and I'm bored without Azara and Gabriel around." Castiel says smiling, but Dean's chest hurts. He feels as if he is the one cheating on Azara.

And in a weird way he does cheat on her. They are friends.

"If you want." Dean says and Castiel studies their card for a moment, before he asks for a meatlover again.

"You love that huh?" Dean says and whistles quietly, while he starts to make Castiel's sandwich as well.

"Well what can I say. ‘Save a tree, eat a beaver’." Castiel says and he points at Dean's shirt. Dean snorts. This time his shirt doesn't really mean anything, but of course Castiel always finds a way to point it out.

[](https://66.media.tumblr.com/84f01669ad9d2e1c5b792279e4612db6/tumblr_ptfedixQZE1tjx93eo3_1280.jpg)

Maybe Dean should settle for normal shirts.

Like _Azara._

"Yeah it's…well, I mean, I like beavers, too." Dean babbles and why is he even telling Castiel things like that. Nobody wants to know that.

"I like bees." Castiel replies easily and Dean smiles. Somehow that is kinda weird, but also incredible typical for Castiel, Dean nods.

"And with the skirt again?" Castiel asks smiling and Dean ducks his head at that.

"It's a kilt." He tries, but Castiel snorts.

"Yeah, sure." He says and Dean wants to change the topic. He loves his kilt, but Castiel pointing it out so easily still makes him uncomfortable. Skirt. Yeah maybe Dean would wear that too, but obviously, everyone would only make even more fun of him.

"So, you have nothing to do today?" Dean asks and Castiel shrugs before he takes his plate and then goes over to a table. Since nobody else is there, Dean follows him with his own sandwich. They could easily eat there and if a customer comes in, Dean would go back behind the counter.

"Well, I wanted to see you." Castiel says, before he starts to eat and Dean hopes he isn't blushing too bad. How can Castiel just say stuff like that?

"I'm glad." Dean mumbles and starts eating as well. They spend the next minutes in silence, but at least Dean put on some music a few hours ago. He always does this, when he is alone in the shop. Music calms him down.

"Did you have fun yesterday?" Castiel asks then and Dean jerks a bit, when he feels Castiel's foot against his ankle under the table. Nobody ever played footsie with Dean, but it feels good with Castiel. He feels giddy, but safe.

"Yes, I enjoyed it all lot." Dean says and he means it. He actually had a lot of fun with Castiel and he wishes he would have more of that. He wants to spend more of his days with Castiel and maybe… maybe even more.

"Me too. So, I thought we could go to the beach after you're done with working?" Castiel asks and his foot rubs over Dean's ankle again. Dean shudders and nods. He knows it's so wrong, but he really likes Castiel.

He wants to be selfish for once.

"And Azara?" Dean asks quietly and Castiel tilts his head.

"What about Azara?" Castiel asks back and he frowns as if Azara isn't even on his mind. Maybe… maybe Castiel isn't actually in love with her. Dean sighs. This is so complicated.

"Nothing. What will you do till I close up?" Dean asks back and when he gets up Castiel strokes over his hand. Dean's whole body tingles, as he does that.

"Well, I’ll just wait here for you and watch over you, if you don't mind." Castiel says and when Dean is still leaning down a bit, he presses another kiss against Dean's cheek. Dean smiles widely, before he takes the empty plate from Castiel and goes back to his kitchen.

Not without shaking his hips a little bit.

The kiss from yesterday is still on his mind. He knows it's not fair to compare it to the kiss with Benny, but he is crushing on Castiel. And he’s falling fast. The kiss was so nice and when Dean woke up with his teddy bear, he was so happy.

He should talk to Azara. But for now he will enjoy his time with Castiel. No matter how selfish that is. Even though he is an asshole doing this.

It only takes Dean two hours till he finally closes the shop. He wrote Charlie before, how it's going, but she didn't text him back. But Benny texted him he would visit in a few days. That at least is something to look forward to.

"Do you think it will work out for Eileen?" Castiel asks, when Dean locks the door. To be honest Dean is really nervous for Eileen. She never lets it show, but he knows that she is sometimes embarrassed about being deaf.

Dean wishes he could take all her worries away.

If a man is being an asshole about that towards her, he doesn't deserve her at all. She is better off without assholes like that, but he knows that Eileen is in love with Fuzzzy_22. It would hurt her so much, if he was an idiot like that.

"I really hope so." Dean says and he looks down at their hands as they walk. He would love to hold Castiel's big hand. But maybe Castiel is still embarrassed by him. Well, no wonder, his hair is still a bright blue and all those piercings.

And Castiel didn't even see all his tattoos.

"So where are we going?" Dean asks, after they go down the road. Castiel just smiles at him and then shrugs.

"I thought we could go to the beach or something. I didn't have a special place in my mind." Castiel says easily and Dean nods. He actually lives at the beach. It's a really tiny house and it's actually Bobby's who lets him live there for a tiny rent.

"We could… go to my place?" Dean asks and fuck. He never even takes the girls from the shop home. But he would enjoy to sit on the dock by his house and just talk with Castiel. He wants to get to know him.

Maybe kiss him again.

"Sure. Lead the way." Castiel says and Dean takes the next left turn. The streets are empty here and Dean is actually glad that he didn't take his car to work today. As soon as Dean sees his tiny house, he is a bit embarrassed.

It's really not much. But there is really a nice pier towards his house and sometimes Dean sits down there before work and enjoys how quiet the world around him can be. Even though his house is a bit far from the rest of the town, he never really goes into the water.

Some people always come here swimming, so they don't have to share the beach and water with the tourists. Dean doesn't want to get judged in his own home, so he stays inside, if he sees other people.

Today the beach is empty and Dean sighs happily.

"It's beautiful." Castiel breathes, as they stand on the pier. Dean smiles. Yeah, actually, it is. He would have never imagined as a kid that someday he has a place, he can actually call his home.

"We could sit down here? Want a beer? And maybe go swimming later." Dean says and points towards his house. Castiel nods and already sits down, his feet still in shoes, almost touching the water. Dean smiles and then leaves him alone.

Dean actually hopes that Castiel doesn't want to swim. He doesn't like to show himself in only shorts, but maybe he could leave his shirt on.

Inside is a mess. Dean groans. Yeah, he should've cleaned up, but then again, he thought he would spend the whole weekend alone. He hastily puts a few things away and at least the kitchen and living room look alright.

Dean flushes. It's not as if Castiel would see his bedroom right?

He takes out his last Six Pack of beer and went back out again. He is still wearing the damn Beaver shirt and the kilt, but he doesn't care. Castiel already pointed it out anyway.

Dean writes Charlie another message and then goes back outside to Castiel.

"Here." Dean says and gives a bottle over to Castiel.

"Thank you." Castiel replies and he watches as the sun slowly settles down. In an hour they could watch the sunset together. Dean smiles and when he sits down next to him, Castiel is already pressing a kiss to his cheek again.

"You enjoy that, huh?" Dean asks and carefully strokes over his cheek.

"Yeah." Castiel says honestly and Dean smiles widely. Maybe Castiel really likes him. He needs to talk to Charlie about this again, maybe she could help him figure that out.

"So… Castiel. Tell me about yourself." Dean says and takes a sip from his beer. Even though he kinda feels as if he knows Castiel, they didn't talk much so far.

"What do you want to know? I have a really big family, many siblings but only contact with my two brothers here. I already told you that I like bees and the stars. And you." Castiel says and at the last two words, he turns towards Dean.

Dean swallows.

"B-big family?" Dean asks and he stutters, because Castiel is still starring.

"Yeah I mean I don't even know my mother and my father left, when I was young. But Gabe and Balthazar are the only family I need." Castiel says and for a second Dean thinks that Castiel is talking about Dean's boss.

But wouldn't they be closer then? And Gabriel isn't such an uncommon name as Balthazar.

"I have a younger brother." Dean says and he frowns at himself. Why did he have to say that. He doesn't want to talk about Sam.

"Does he live here?" Castiel wants to know and Dean plays with the label on the bottle. Maybe he would feel better if he finally talked about it.

"No, he studies at Stanford. Well, at least I think that is what he does, I'm not sure. We haven't been in contact for a few years." Dean explains and Castiel puts his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"I'm really sorry, Priestly." Castiel says and when Dean looks into his eyes, he can see that Castiel means every word he says. Dean swallows again and nods.

"He actually tried to contact me a few days ago. But.. I'm scared. I'm not…he shouldn't be around me." Dean says and this time Castiel doesn't seem to understand what he means.

"Why not?" He wants to know and Dean takes a deep breath. Way to go, talking yourself down in front of your crush. Even though Castiel can already see what a loser Dean is, maybe he should hear it too.

"I mean look at me. I work in a sandwich shop as a cook, I live all alone in a tiny house with 3 rooms at the beach and I…" Dean stops at that.

"You what?" Castiel says slowly, but he doesn't pressure Dean. He waits. One minute, two and even after five minutes he is still there. Dean sighs.

"I wouldn't know what Sam would say… about us." Dean says and Castiel's eyebrows raise almost into his hairline. Dean chuckles weakly.

"Why?" Castiel says and he looks genuinely confused. Dean takes another sip of his beer, before he talks again.

"When I was younger… my Dad found me kissing another guy and he…kinda kicked me out. Sam was already gone back then, but my Dad was an asshole about gay people before, so maybe Sam would hate me, too." Dean says and he looks down at his hands.

Castiel is quiet for a moment, before he slowly sits closer to Dean, until their thighs are touching. It's a nice feeling.

"I understand. But I want you to know that you're father was wrong and like you said, an asshole. You shouldn't listen to him and your brother seems very clever, so I'm sure he will love you, as you are." Castiel says and Dean nods. When he doesn't say anything more, Castiel carefully takes his free left hand into his right one and strokes it.

"T-thank you." Dean says and after another sip of his beer, Dean actually leans his head on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel doesn't jerk away, nor does he freeze, so Dean assumes it's okay. He hadn't even realized, that he was holding his breath.

"I just want you to know that you are very special, Priestly. You have a beautiful soul and I knew that from the first second, when I looked into your eyes." Castiel whispers and Dean is glad, that Castiel doesn't see his face when they are sitting like that.

"I'm not special." Dean tries, but Castiel is having none of it. He leans a bit back, until Dean has to look at him again. Castiel smiles and shakes his head.

"You are." He whispers and leans back closer. Dean closes his eyes, just as Castiel kisses him again. It's a shy kiss, just a little peck, but Dean smiles against Castiel's lips. God this is the best taste in the world.

"I uhm… you're special to me too, Cas." Dean tries and Castiel's smile is breathtaking. Just in that moment, Dean's phone makes a noise and he turns around.

"Something new from Eileen?" Castiel asks and Dean shakes his head.

"No. I wrote Charlie three times already and I still have no answer. I hope that's a good sign." Dean says and he actually thinks that's a really bad sign. Fuck. But it's just Benny writing him again, so Dean ignores it for now.

"Eileen deserves a happy ending." Castiel says and he looks towards the sun again. It's still some time before she would go down. Dean hopes Castiel will stay that long.

"Yeah I hope Gabriel will finally ask Rowena out." Dean says and he chuckles at Castiel's face.

"Are you really telling me that Gabriel likes Rowena?" He laughs and Dean smiles at that. For him it's actually pretty obvious.

"Yeah seriously. And well, Charlie is interested in Jo. That's a bit more complicated, but I really hope that works out too." Dean says smiling. It would be so nice, if they all had relationships. Maybe…maybe Dean would be in one too, by then.

"More complicated? I don't think it can be more complicated than Gabriel and Rowena. Oh, but did you know that Crowley and Bobby are dating?" Castiel says then and Dean coughs on his next sip of beer.

"What?" He sputters and wipes over his mouth. Castiel grins.

"Yeah, was a surprise for me, too." Castiel just says and leans closer to get another kiss from Dean. This time Dean carefully puts his hands against Castiel's cheek and the stubble feels so good. He sighs. Castiel even pulls on Dean's legs until he has them over Castiel's lap and holy shit that feels so good.

"I freaking knew it."

If it wasn't for Castiel having a tight grip on his arms, Dean would for sure be in the water now. But Castiel has him and Dean looks up.

Arthur and Mick are on the beach, right next to them. Mick is laughing loudly, but Arthur angrily looks at them.

"Can I help you?" Castiel asks and he still has Dean's legs over his lap, while Dean's ass is still on the edge of the dock. He carefully strokes over Dean's naked leg, as if to calm him down. But Dean can't calm down.

"Nah we just wanted to swim for a bit, but we didn't know the Fairy was here, too." Arthur says and Castiel tilts his head. Dean presses his face against Castiel's shoulder.

"There is no fairy." Castiel says slowly and Dean can feel that he actually starts to look around. Dean doesn't dare to lift his head again and oh boy would John smack him for hiding like this.

"Yeah, what about the freak in the skirt next to you?" Arthur says and Dean can practically hear the smirk in his voice. Castiel just adjusts Dean's kilt and then takes a deep breath.

"It's a kilt and if you call him a freak again, I’ll make sure you will never speak a word again." Castiel says and he still sounds so calm. Dean's heartbeat stops, because damn that was kinda hot. Dean hides his smile against the trench coat.

"Yeah sure." Mick says now, but Castiel ignores him.

"Why are you here Arthur? Bored without your girlfriend?" Castiel asks and Dean frowns. Arthur has a girlfriend? And why does Castiel know this stuff. He didn't think that Castiel actually likes Arthur enough, to know stuff like this about him.

"Yeah what can I do? Maybe I should teach her some manners." Arthur says and this time Castiel carefully gets up. He makes sure, that Dean sits properly, before he moves to stand up.

"I would be careful if I was you." Castiel just says and takes a step closer to Arthur and Mick. Both look a bit wary now, that Castiel stands there. The breeze of the sea making his trench coat flicker. Dean sighs. Castiel is so hot.

"Or what?" Mick questions mockingly.

"Or I will teach you some manners." Castiel said and the breeze gets a bit stronger. Dean shudders, even though it's still warm outside.

"No thank you. Maybe you should comfort your trophy there, though. I mean all his friends left for a fun weekend trip and the poor freak, is left all alone. But then again he is good enough for a pity fuck, hm?" Arthur says and Dean jerks, as if Arthur had slapped him across the face.

Castiel goes slowly down the pier, but Dean is focused on his shaking hands. Arthur is right. Dean is only good when Azara or any people actually aren't there. Even his friends didn't want him on the road trip.

"Whatever." Arthur says at some point and when Dean looks back to them, he sees that Mick and Arthur are finally leaving. Dean is still shaking a bit and gets another beer bottle. It takes him way too long to open it.

"Priestly." Castiel whispers and he sits back down. Dean wants to lean away from him. He should tell him that he isn't just a pity date, that he deserves more, but then he sees how Castiel looks.

There is some pity in his blue eyes, but mostly he seems very sad and honestly worried about Dean. No one looked at him like that before. Dean doesn't know what to do.

"Don't cry." Castiel says quietly and Dean wants to tell him to shut up, he would never cry in front of… but then Castiel's hand strokes over his cheeks and Dean realizes he is really crying. In front of Castiel.

"I just… I mean..." Dean stutters, but he doesn't even know what he wants to say.

"It's okay. Don't listen to him, he is wrong. It's okay." Castiel mutters again and again, while Dean presses against him. He needs this hug, but apparently Castiel has something different in his mind. It takes a bit, but this time he pulls Dean completely on his lap.

Dean gasps.

"W-what are you doing?" He stutters, but Castiel presses another quick kiss against his lips and just holds him there. Dean needs a few minutes to finally relax. He never sat on anyone's lap, but it actually feels nice.

Especially when Castiel puts his arms around Dean. He feels warm all over and safe in those arms. His kilt is a bit rucked up, but Dean doesn't even realize that. He wants to stay like this.

"You know, when God created the world, he never intended humans to get angry over sexualities, or gender identities. There is nothing wrong about falling in love with another male vessel." Castiel says, but Dean isn't really listening. He just listens to Castiel's voice and not the words.

"I don't wanna be a f-freak." Dean whispers and he can't help whimpering into Castiel's trench coat. He can already see some dark stains there, for sure from his make-up and he wipes his face.

"You aren't." Castiel says and he is still smiling at him.

Dean doesn't answer this time. He just tries to cuddle even more against Castiel, who lets him. He doesn't know how long they sit there, but he feels better after some time.

"You feel better now?" Castiel whispers into his ear and Dean shudders. It's not really cold outside, but the sun is finally settling down.

"I always feel good with you." Dean whispers back and he can feel Castiel's smile against his cheek, where Castiel presses another light kiss against the skin.

"That's good." Castiel mutters and he strokes over Dean's back now. Dean whimpers again, but this time the sound is a lot more embarrassing. Almost needy. Dean looks up and he can see the last rays of sun in Castiel's eyes.

This time Dean kisses him first. Kisses him, as if Castiel is something he needs to stay alive. And maybe Castiel is exactly that. Dean opens his mouth and Castiel uses his invitation without hesitation.

Dean gasps quietly against Castiel's mouth. Feels how Castiel takes his bottom lip into his mouth and then bites down on it. Dean groans quietly. His never been kissed liked that. It's as if Castiel owns him and Dean feels how his face grows hotter with every second.

"Cas." He breathes out, when Castiel pulls away for a second.

"I'm here." Castiel just says again and he looks like an angel. A ruined angel. His lips are swollen and red and Dean has to kiss him again or he will die right here. So he does and Castiel takes over the kiss once more.

"Please." Dean whispers again and he isn't even sure what he is asking for. Castiel stays calm and the next kiss is much softer. Dean whines quietly, but then Castiel moves some kisses along his jaw and behind his ear.

Dean mewls and wants to press a hand over his mouth. Castiel doesn't let him.

"You're safe with me. Let me hear you." Castiel breathes against his neck and Dean shudders. He knows they are alone there, but still Mick and Arthur could come back, or other teenagers. When Castiel presses his hot mouth against Dean's neck, he loses all traces of the thought.

"C-cas." He says again, just to say something. Castiel is for sure leaving marks, but Dean can't care about that now. He has a huge tattoo on the left side of his neck and Castiel slowly kisses all over the dark ink.

Making Dean his.

"So good, Priestly." Castiel whispers, when he stops kissing Dean's neck. Dean never knew his neck was so sensitive, but he is shaking in Castiel's arms and so far nothing really happened. He kinda wishes, Castiel would say his real name, but he shakes his head.

"I want…" Dean starts, but he isn't sure what he actually wants. He never wants this to stop. He wants this forever, he never wants this to end. He wants Castiel.

He never felt like this with a girl. He didn't feel this, when he was with Benny. He is feeling too hot, his skin too tight, and he just wants more.

"It's okay. You're okay." Castiel just says again and when Castiel says it, Dean really feels okay. He feels better than okay. He feels as if he finally came home.

Castiel's hands are carefully stroking his sides now and Dean smiles shyly at Castiel. He is kinda ticklish at his sides, but Castiel uses enough pressure. Dean sighs quietly and finally he puts his hands on Castiel too.

He isn't sure where he can touch, but Castiel is just smirking at him. Dean puts one hand against Castiel's cheek and leans closer to get another kiss, while his other hand is on Castiel's chest. He can feel his heartbeat.

It's just as fast as Dean's.

"Priestly." Castiel says again after the kiss and Dean feels as if they only have enough air to say their names. Again and again. Dean wants to answer, when Castiel's hands leave his sides and trail even lower.

One hand is still on the kilt and Dean can't really feel it, but Castiel's left hand is right there on Dean's thigh, where the kilt is still rucked up, pressing down, warm on his skin. Dean shudders a bit and when Castiel's fingers strokes hard over his skin, he moans quietly.

_Yes. Please. Cas. Please._

"Impatient, huh?" Castiel chuckles and Dean hadn't even realized that he said that out loud. He gasps again, when Castiel rucks the kilt even more up.

"Yes." Dean says again and he tries to rut up against him for a little bit. Castiel just chuckles and his right hand goes back to Dean's hip to keep him there.

Dean is already hard in his boxer shorts and he wants Castiel to touch him for real now. Dean tries to glance at Castiel's lap to see if Castiel is growing hard, too. But he can't really see anything.

"Not so fast." Castiel says again and he draws little circles on Dean's thigh. Dean puts his head on Castiel's shoulder so he can look down and watch what Castiel is doing to him. His kilt is already rucked so far up, that his underwear is on display.

Thank god he did wear boxer shorts today and not his… well.

"You can tell me next time all about your underwear." Castiel whispers and with that he finally puts his hand under the kilt. He strokes on the seam of Dean's boxer shorts and then pulls at the waistband of them. Dean doesn't understand at first.

"Lift your hips." Castiel says and he presses another kiss against Dean's cheek. Dean awkwardly tries to put his knees next to Castiel's thighs, so he can lift his hips a bit more. As soon as his ass isn't on Castiel's lap anymore, Castiel pushes his underwear down as far as it goes.

Dean huffs a laugh, when he nearly falls back down on Castiel's lap. The underwear is still kind of in the way and Dean gets up. He even takes a step to the side and gets rid of it. He throws it into the sand and is actually glad the kilt is still covering everything.

"Come here, _baby_." Castiel says huskily and the voice alone goes straight to Dean's dick. But the nickname makes Dean gasp, before he sits back down on Castiel's lap. He puts his arms around Castiel's neck and kisses him.

Castiel happily kisses back and Dean's breath hitches, when Castiel's left hand finds his thigh again. Carefully and just very slowly Castiel strokes over the sensitive skin everywhere but Dean's cock. Dean whines quietly.

"Please. Cas." He says again, because, apparently, Castiel doesn't understand what he wants. Dean looks up, seeing that Castiel's eyes were so much darker now. Castiel is grinning and Dean slaps him against his chest. The fucker is teasing him.

"Be good for me, yeah?" Castiel says and he sucks another mark over Dean's tattoo. Dean throws his head back and he is glad Castiel is still holding his hip with one hand. Otherwise, Dean would've fallen into the water more than once by now, since Castiel is still sitting on the edge of the docks.

"So good." Dean whispers back and then Castiel puts his hand away from his naked skin. Dean wants to cry, but before he can react, Castiel pulls him even closer. So close, that Dean can feel Castiel's hard dick pressing right against his own.

_Fuck._

"You feel that, baby? How good you make me feel?" Castiel asks and Dean just nods. He is biting on his own lips and he can taste blood, but this feels too good. Too good to be true. Dean wants to stay in this moment forever.

"Yes!" Dean says loudly and then rocks up against Castiel and fuck yes. Just like that. The pressure feels so good and Dean isn't even mad, that Castiel is still wearing his fucking pants. He just wants to come and maybe even all over Castiel.

Dean groans again and this time he uses more pressure, when he rubs up against Castiel. Finally Castiel moans, too and the sound of it, is so hot. Dean wants to hear it again.

"Work for it." Castiel says then and with the next move of his hips, he meets Dean with his own trust and Dean is sure he is going crazy. It feels wrong and dirty, because Castiel is still wearing all his clothes and Dean is naked under his kilt, pressing right against Castiel. But at the same time, it's the best thing that ever happened to Dean.

Dean doesn't know how he can still breathe. His thighs are shaking already, but Castiel seems so calm and collected.

"Please." Dean cries out, when he is sure he can't hold back anymore. Castiel just strokes over his cheek again and kisses him. Dean's dick aches, but he stops his movement and kisses Castiel back. Just rolls his hips a tiny bit.

Castiel smacks his thigh and Dean gasps loudly. It's almost dark now and Dean squirms on Castiel's lap, but he can't help it.

"Watch." Castiel says and then he pushes Dean's head down. Dean stays with his forehead against Castiel's shoulder and looks down. He can see how Castiel's hand disappears under his kilt again. He can see his own bulge against the kilt.

"Fuck." Dean mutters and Castiel chuckles. He has to know how crazy he makes Dean.

Before Dean can tell him to hurry up, Castiel finally puts his hand around Dean's dick and strokes over his length once. Dean moans brokenly and Castiel is laughing at him again. Dean has never been touched by a man like this, but he should've done this earlier.

But then it wouldn't be Castiel who got to touch him like this for the first time.

"Still good, Baby?" Castiel asks and he waits for Dean's nod, before he strokes him again. Dean wants to close his eyes, but he can't. It looks too hot, Castiel's hand around his dick, still under Dean's kilt, but everyone would still be able to know, what they're doing.

"More." Dean moans almost broken by now and Castiel tightens his hold until Dean groans even louder. Dean is still squirming on his lap and he can feel how Castiel tries to press closer to Dean, too.

Dean wants to touch Castiel, too. Wants to feel his naked skin, but he is glad he is at least getting this. Castiel presses one of his fingers into Dean's slit and Dean nearly comes right then. The touch is over way too fast and Dean looks up.

"C-cas. I need you." Dean whimpers and Castiel kisses him slowly. His strokes are getting faster with each one and Dean mumbles single words that don't make sense against his lips. Castiel groans quietly, when Dean jerks a bit and presses up against Castiel's dick.

"Okay then show me what you want, Baby." Castiel says and Dean nods hastily. He puts his own hand over Castiel's and tries to stroke himself faster. Harder. Anything, just to finally come. Castiel lets Dean move his hand and rubs up against Dean at the same time.

"L-like that!" Dean says and it takes only another stroke, because Castiel twists his hand and then he is coming all over Castiel, his kilt and their entwined hands. Dean gasps again and again, but it doesn't stop and he can feel how Castiel comes too, as he bites Castiel's shoulder to stifle his moan.

Just from Dean squirming on his lap.

"Fuck Dean!" Castiel groans and Dean kisses him, so they don't wake up everyone. It's dark outside now and Dean can barely see Castiel's eyes, when Castiel sill rubs a bit against him.

Dean shudders through his aftershock and smiles.

"That was…" Dean starts, but he doesn't know how to end the sentence. Castiel just laughs and kisses him again. Softer and sweeter this time.

"You still up for swimming?" Castiel asks grinning and before Dean can say anything, Castiel pushes him from his lap into the water. Dean sputters when he comes up to the surface and he glares at Castiel.

Castiel just jumps into the water as well and swims over to Dean.

"Your hair looks almost normal now." Castiel says and before Dean can say anything, Castiel kisses him quiet.

Dean is okay with that.

 

*

 

The next morning, Dean is alone. He carefully pats the bedside next to him, but the sheets are already cold. Yesterday, Dean fell asleep in Castiel's arms and of course he is alone now. He presses his eyes close. It was too nice to be true to sleep next to Castiel, of course he is gone now, because…

Right. Azara would come back today. Dean checks his phone, if one of the girls messaged him (or even Castiel) but it shows him no new messages. Dean sniffs once and then gets up.

Fine maybe he lost his virginity with Castiel. Well at least kinda, but that doesn't mean anything. Dean gets up and goes over to his bathroom. His blue hair is mocking him. It finally has at least a similar color to Castiel's eyes and he angrily wipes his tears away.

He knew what he got himself into. Castiel didn't need a freak like Dean in his life. He was a pity fuck, just like Arthur said. Dean searches for a new color for his hair and finds some green left from months ago. He shrugs and starts to dye his hair bright green.

It takes him longer to get ready for work today, because honestly he doesn't want to go. What if Castiel is there again and flirting with Azara? But then again he is so excited to hear all about Eileen's dream guy, so he finally gets to his car and drives to the shop.

When Dean finally enters the shop all three girls are already there. Dean is kinda pissed actually, that nobody called him.

"Alright. I'm sitting by the phone, waiting and wondering. I demand a full report and I want all the details. What happened?" Dean says and he looks around.

Obviously something is very wrong, because the girls don't look very happy. Eileen doesn't even look him in the eye and Charlie frowns at the dishes she is drying. Azara instead comes closer to him and Dean kinda gets away from her.

"What?" Dean whispers a bit bewildered, when Azara just pushes him a bit back.

"Look there is a reason, we didn't call you." Azara starts and she looks sad, too. For a moment Dean's heart stops. What if she knows about him and Castiel. They would all throw him out. They hate him.

"So, we went to the bar and saw Fuzzzy_22 and Eileen was worried. You know, he is incredible hot, and she thought… she wasn't good enough for him. So she ran away and we left… without even talking to him." Azara whispers into his ear and Dean is so perplexed he doesn't know what he just heard.

_Because what?_

_Seriously?_

"You're shitting me." Dean says loudly and he can see how Eileen reads his lips and then looks away. Charlie is still awkwardly doing the dishes.

"Eileen. Please, tell me you didn't leave Fuzzy sitting down there wondering. God damn it Eileen!" Dean says and he is really angry now, when he stands right in front of her. He can't believe this. Why is everybody always judging people just by their face.

"Look I don't expect you to understand." Eileen says and that makes Dean even more angry. Eileen is such a wonderful person and Dean knows she is beautiful inside and out. Dean doesn't understand the whole concept of beauty.

"Oh I understand. I understand you wouldn't talk to him, cause you were terrified he'd judge you on the basis of your looks, or because you think he will laugh at you for being deaf. Which is bullshit. And yet, you're completely comfortable doing the exact same thing to him. Unbelievable, god!" Dean says angrily and turns around, so he wouldn't punch the table.

He takes a deep breath and then goes out of the shop. Gabriel can fire him if he wants, but Dean doesn't care. It's so unfair. He tries not to break into tears right away and ignores his car, as he goes down the street.

If Castiel wouldn't be so focused on looks, maybe he would see Dean in a different light. He wouldn't point all his shirts and hair colors out. He wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with him. He wouldn't choose beautiful Azara over him.

Dean knows it's unfair. Azara is great, but she is also only going for looks with guys. She never takes a guy out who isn't a dreamy Beachboy. Dean presses his hands against his eyes.

"Hey!"

Azara says loudly when Dean walks away. He doesn't turn around or stop for her. Instead he puts his hands into his pockets and walks a bit faster. Sadly Azara is having none of it.

"What?" Dean asks finally, when she doesn't give up.

"Why are you so pissed?" She asks and now she doesn't sound very happy either. Dean wants to laugh in her face. Wants to tell her that she please can be happy with Castiel. It's not even about Eileen anymore, but Dean can't help it.

He is in freaking love with Castiel and the world shows him how that will end.

He will end like Fuzzy.

"I'm not pissed at you. Well not specifically at you. More at every human that ever existed." Dean says and he shakes off her hand on his shoulder. It's true. Dean never had any luck with the ladies after he changed his looks to his appearance now.

Heck Azara didn't even throw him a second glance. And then Castiel only makes it worse.

"Oh come on. That was really hard on Eileen." Azara starts, but this time Dean stops. So suddenly that Azara almost runs into him. Dean huffs.

"Oh really? Really Azara? Because I'm sure it was a picnic for Fuzzy, too." Dean says, because he can imagine exactly how he feels. Dean went to more than one date, only to find out he had been stood up. For sure the girls saw him and ran, too.

"Why are you suddenly best friends with Fuzzy?" Azara questioned, wanting to know and Dean wants to laugh in her face. Wants to tell her what he did with Castiel last night. Wants to hurt her, just like it hurts him to never get the relationship he wanted. Like Fuzzy.

"Because it's pathetic Azara, okay? It's pathetic that she can't rise up above all that superficial horseshit, that is swirling around her." Dean says louder this time.

Why do people judge other people? Why is it so hard for some people to accept men falling in love with other men? Why would anybody judge Eileen, because she can't hear? Why the fuck would people laugh at his looks.

When Dean whirls around to Azara, he sees Castiel standing a bit behind her. She hasn't seen him so far, but Castiel is staring at them. His head tilted to one side.

"Why is it that some people can't see a good thing when it's standing right in front of them, huh? I mean, what is it that screws all that up? Can you tell me? I swear, you're like 2 year olds. You're more interested in the wrapping paper than what's inside. You're more interested at what other people might think." Dean explodes, but he is looking at Castiel the whole time. His voice cracks at the last words and Dean starts to walk away again.

He wants Castiel to see how much he is hurting, but he doesn't want Castiel to see him cry again. Was embarrassing enough the first time.

"Wait. Are you talking about Eileen, or Castiel?" Azara says and Dean stops again. He looks back at her, not even caring that she is talking about Castiel.

"If there's a difference, let me know." Dean whispers and then he goes further down the street towards the beach. Azara isn't coming towards him and Castiel doesn't follow him either.

It takes Dean almost four hours to calm down. He texted Gabriel, to let him know he would come back later to work and take the late shift. Gabriel just sent him a few weird emoticons, so Dean doesn't think he is actually fired.

He knows that Azara doesn't have to stay late today and Charlie texted him earlier, that she is home, if he wanted to talk. Dean doesn't want to talk. He walks back to the shop and nearly rolls his eyes, when he sees Eileen there all alone.

Dean doesn't say anything, when he enters the shop and he keeps silent the next hours. He only speaks to customers and he huffs angrily, with every ping from Eileen's computer. Maybe that's Fuzzzy_22 writing her again. But maybe it's just a customer ordering a sandwich.

Eileen is wiping the tables and it's already dark outside, when Dean sighs loudly and then goes over to her. He carefully touches her shoulder.

"Eileen." He says quietly.

He swallows down his apology. He is still angry at her, but he can also understand why she did it. That doesn't make it right. Dean would have to tell her again, how beautiful she and her voice are. How Fuzzy would've said that, too.

"Leave it. You had a long day. I'll close up." Dean says quietly and strokes over her shoulder. Eileen seems hurt by him still and Dean swallows down the bad feeling.

"You sure?" She wants to know and she actually signs at him. Dean feels worse.

"Yeah, go home and get drunk." Dean says and he tries to make the joke to lighten the mood, but Eileen doesn't smile. And he doesn't either.

"Thank you." Eileen signs again and Dean nods at her. She takes her bag and Dean starts to wipe the table, she was just cleaning. Dean always needs something to do when he is stressed and cleaning up the shop alone is better than sitting at home crying.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Eileen whispers, when she is at the door and Dean nods.

"Yeah." He whispers back and then Eileen is gone. Dean sighs loudly and gets to work. He is just at the second table, when the computer beeps again. Dean looks up. The shop is already closed, so it can't be a customer this time.

Dean looks around, but nobody is there. He goes over to the computer and he was right. It's Fuzzy writing Eileen again.

 _‘Are you there? Hello? Please answer me. Ladybuggger!’_ Dean reads loudly and then he takes a deep breath. If he can't have Castiel fine. But he would make sure that Eileen at least gets her happy end. She deserves that.

 _‘Hi this is not Ladybuggger, but her co-worker Priestly. Can we talk?’_ Dean writes back and he waits for almost ten minutes. Fuzzy starts writing a few times, but he seems to delete it more than once. Dean is actually nervous.

 _‘I'm in Santa Cruz.’_ Dean reads loudly and then gasps. Fuzzy is here? Did he… follow the girls? But then he wouldn't write Eileen and just meet her, right?

Dean just writes him the address of his favorite bar and that they could meet there in 30 minutes. He also quickly types down he is the guy with a green faux mohawk, before Fuzzy sees his appearance and runs away, too. Dean rolls his eyes at himself.

Luckily, he is almost done with cleaning up the shop and he is at the bar a few minutes early. Dean sits down outside on the big deck and already orders himself a beer. He checks his watch and yeah he still has ten minutes.

He texts Benny and then drinks from his beer. He is actually pretty excited to meet Fuzzy and he really hopes he turns out to be the good guy.

And then Dean hears a name he hadn't heard for a very long time.

"DEAN?!"

It's not loud, but it feels as if somebody yelled it into his ears. Dean looks up and there is… there is…

"Sammy." Dean whispers and Sam takes three big steps before he is standing right in front of him. Sure he is bigger than the last time Dean saw him and his hair is much longer, but that is his little brother.

"Dean!" Sam says again and somehow Dean actually gets up and then Sam is hugging him, Dean is hugging him back and then Dean starts crying in the middle of the tables. Sam just holds him through it, but Dean can hear him sniffle, too.

"W-what are you doing here?" Dean cries into Sam's flannel and oh god Sam is still dressing like that and Dean had missed him so much.

"I was… I was searching for you everywhere, Dean! I can't believe this is where you went!" Sam says and he carefully pushes Dean away from him. Yeah there are some tears in Sam's eyes and Dean smiles under his tears as well.

"You looked for me?" Dean whispers and Sam gently pushes him onto his chair again. Dean sits down and is still gaping at his brother.

"Of course I did, Dean! Dad called me and he told me… Dean he told me about Benny." Sam says and Dean hastily looks away. Oh. So Sam is here to... well, Dean doesn't know actually.

"He was… I mean I was and then…" Dean stutters and then he just shuts up. Sam is smiling at him and then takes Dean's hand into his.

"Dean hey. I know and I'm not mad. You know that right? I always told you that I believe, there are some… monsters, or whatever, that aren't evil." Sam says and Dean snorts. Sam is talking about the fact, that Dean saved a vampire.

"Yeah I guess." Dean mumbles and takes another sip of his beer. He can't believe this, Sam is actually sitting at a table with him. He wipes his tears away, but he is so happy to see Sam.

"Come on. You seriously believe I didn't know you liked guys, too?" Sam says and he is grinning. Dean can see his dimples and he opens his mouth to say something and then closes it. Because what. Sam knew...?

"What?" Dean just says and Sam laughs.

"Dean, seriously, you weren't that subtle. I knew it and I'm okay with it. Everything Dad said to you was bullshit." Sam explains and Dean is still stunned by this. He had thought that maybe John's influence on Sam was too big and he would be homophobic as well.

Dean is so stupid, of course Sammy was smarter than that.

"Thank you." Dean says and he holds Sam's hand a bit tighter. Sam grins.

"Seriously. I told Dad to fuck off and tried to find you and I'm sorry it took me so long." Sam says and he uses his puppy dog eyes. Dean smiles at him and then wipes at his eyes with his free hand again.

"I… I was at Stanford and I saw you there with… a girl and you looked so happy. I never saw you so happy. So I left." Dean says and he can't look Sam in the eyes. Sam sighs and then he scoots closer with his chair.

"That was Jess." Sam says quietly and he sounds sad, Dean looks at him. He didn't want to make Sammy sad again. Maybe Jess left and Sam is still heartbroken.

"She died." Sam says, as if he can read Dean's thoughts and Dean swallows dryly. Way to go there. He has his brother back for a few minutes and already fucks it up.

"I'm sorry." Dean mutters and Sam squeezes his hand again.

"I know, thank you. What I wanted to say is, yeah I was happy. But Dean you know that there will always be a place for you in my life right?" Sam says and Dean feels his cheeks flush. He had thought Sam would never want him in his life again.

"You sure?" Dean whispers into his beer and Sam laughs.

"I'm sure." Sam confirms and Dean smiles at him. He would love that. He missed Sam so much and now to hear that Sam missed him, too and wants him in his life, is more than Dean ever thought he would get.

"And I have to say you look very different, I almost didn't recognize you a few weeks ago." Sam says then and Dean jerks so hard, he nearly pushes his glass over. Sam is faster and saves the glass easily.

"What do you mean?" Dean says and he nearly chokes on his spit. Sam was here?

"Well as I said, I searched for you after Dad's call and I'm actually pretty good with computers, so I taught myself a few things and somehow I found a little trace right to Santa Cruz. Of course there is no Dean Winchester listed, but I was so close already. Well and I spend a few days here last summer and ordered at this tiny sandwich shop and ended up talking to… my Ladybuggger." Sam explains and Dean shakes his head. What the fuck.

"You're Fuzzzy_22?" He says and Sam laughs.

"Yeah and apparently you're Priestly? The coworker? Weird name I have to say." Sam admits and Dean laughs loudly.

"And you don't even know my first name." Dean says and then he actually can't stop laughing, now that he started. What the fuck is his life, that Sam is actually Eileen's crush.

"Oh god and Eileen was talking to you all the time. I can't believe it." Dean says. Maybe he should've told Eileen sooner that she just had to meet Fuzzzy_22.

"But how could I not recognize you? I mean yeah somehow you seem even bigger now and your hair is so long, but what the heck." Dean says and Sam chuckles.

"Well first of all I uh… dressed a bit differently and you were not there when I met Eileen the first time last summer. But I was here again and there I saw you last week, but I didn't know it was you. I just saw your hair and you stood with your back to me." Sam explains and Dean nods.

"And then somebody described me they would know you or at least they thought they did. I called the sandwich shop, because apparently you work there, but the owner of the shop said, he doesn't know you. So seemed like he lied. Or not because he obviously doesn't know a Dean." Sam says and Dean nods.

"Yeah but Gabriel figured it out anyway. Gave me your number, but I was too nervous to actually call you back." Dean admits and Sam sighs.

"Well that's why I actually went back to the shop last week. But then I was a bit distracted by Eileen again." Sam explains.

"You were the guy with the stone." Dean says and Sam's eyes widen.

"Yeah but how do you know that?" Sam asks back and this time Dean winks at him. God how could he not recognize his own brother.

"I thought I saw something back then, but I wasn't sure. But now it makes sense." Dean says and Sam nods. He seems a bit ashamed and thinks about it for a moment.

"I was nervous… meeting her. She was so sweet online and told me, people would always look at her weirdly. So I kinda… it was a dumb idea. But I went there dirty and homeless and she still smiled at me and that's when I knew that….yeah. She cares about a heart and nothing else." Sam says and he stops obviously embarrassed. Dean grins.

"Yeah Eileen is awesome like that." Dean answers and he sees how Sam blushes.

"Eileen." Sam whispers and he smiles. Dean giggles.

"Aw, Sammy is in love." He says and Sam slaps him against the back of his head. Dean pouts and then pushes Sam a bit. God he had missed this.

"Jerk." Sam mutters.

"Bitch." Dean grins back.

"Shut up. Apparently I was wrong, she doesn't want me." Sam says then he sounds incredible sad. Dean shakes his head. God damn, that was the point of this whole meeting. Dean holds his hands up.

"Sammy, no. This is such a big mess, but I promise you, Eileen really likes you." Dean says and he points at his beer, when the waitress goes to serve the table next to them. Sam orders a beer himself and then frowns.

"She ran away from me Dean. I saw that." Sam says and he looks so sad. Dean knows his brother would never play with some girls feelings, but seems like he is really in love. Badly.

"I know, Azara told me what happened. But Sam, that's why I even tried to contact you. She is afraid that you would judge her. Eileen is deaf. There was an accident when she was little. Her parents died and she…lost her hearing." Dean explains and he feels bad now.

Eileen should be the one telling this, but Dean wants her to be happy. With his brother apparently. He snorts.

"Was it… something _not natural?_ " Sam says and Dean wants to slap him, for saying it like that. Dean shrugs, he thought about that, too.

"Maybe. I didn't… I stopped hunting." Dean presses out and Sam looks even more surprised than he did seeing Dean here a few minutes ago.

"Really?" Sam asks and Dean nods.

"Yeah, I mean, in the beginning I did some hunts alone. But I got hurt kinda badly, more than once, so I stopped. Sometimes, I do check the newspaper for hunts around here, but nothing seems to happen." Dean explains and Sam nods.

"I'm glad actually. You deserve to have a better life." Sam says and he sounds so earnest. Dean smiles at him, but he is a bit embarrassed, too.

"Yeah I mean hey I'm a sandwich cook. Totally cool." Dean tries to say it with a laugh, but it comes out a bit bitter. Sam shakes his head and Dean is a bit fascinated with Sam's long hair. Maybe he should've tried that sometime too. But he loves his faux mohawk to much.

"You are happy here, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have stayed." Sam says and Dean nods. He is happy here. He likes Bobby and Gabriel. He would be sad without Charlie and Eileen in his life and it would be boring without Azara.

"Yeah I have… I found a family here." Dean says and he coughs slightly.

"So you think Eileen still wants me?" Sam asks and he just now, when he has to change the topic, because Dean is too embarrassed.

"I know it, Sammy. Seriously she always talks about you and what you write about and she is so smitten. She was already nervous before the meeting but your good looks let her run away." Dean explains and Sam's eyebrows raise slowly.

"Good looks huh?" Sam says and then he waggles his eyebrows. Dean kicks him under the table.

"Her words, not mine. You should cut your hair, Samantha." Dean says and he is proud of that joke, but Sam just shakes his head, still smiling.

"I don't understand… I knew she was beautiful without seeing her. I knew that from the start, that's why I had to write her again and again. I can't believe she saw me and ran away." Sam says and he plays with his glass. Dean nods.

"Yeah, I already told her off. You have to see her again, Sammy. She likes you and you like her and I know you don't care about her being deaf or anything." Dean says and at that Sam looks up.

"Of course not! I saw her… I uhm when I was there the second time. I saw that she signed something to another man at the counter." Sam says quietly and Dean nods.

"And you still want her. Of course you do. Only douchebags wouldn't." Dean says and Sam chuckles at least a bit at that. Dean drinks the rest from his glass and then puts some money on the table. He needs a plan for this and he also needs his bed.

"Yeah I… Dean I really like her." Sam says, as they both get up and leave. Dean walks close to him and sighs happily. It feels so good to be with Sam again.

"I know and we will fix this. I told you, she was afraid you would hate her for it. Maybe show her you aren't perfect either." Dean says and he winks at Sam. God he really has to look up to his little brother now. How annoying.

"Yeah maybe I could pretend to be homeless again. I mean I kinda am." Sam says and Dean stops so fast, that Sam nearly runs into him.

"What do you mean, you're homeless?" Dean says and Sam looks at the ground.

"Well I'm finished with Stanford and I just..well first thing I did was drive here and…" Sam starts, but Dean actually gasps loudly and shakes his head.

"So you're a lawyer?" He says and Sam shakes his head.

"No… I, uhm, dropped out." Sam seems really afraid of Dean's answer and doesn't look him into the eyes anymore.

"Oh my god, Sam! The whole conversation should've started with that!" Dean yells but he is already hugging Sam again.

"You mad?" Sam whispers and Dean shakes his head. He presses closer to Sam.

"I would never be mad. Are you okay though? Why did you drop out?" Dean asks and Sam sighs against his neck. Dean carefully strokes his back.

"It was too much for me and I had no… fun. I mean I would've done good things, but I hated it. The people and yeah… mostly the people." Sam admits and Dean laughs.

"Okay, you can live with me for now. It's not big but I have a nice couch." Dean says and then he takes Sam hand, so they can go over to his house. Dean is excited to have Sam here with him and he would also help him to get Eileen back.

"So when I first went here I met Bobby, who helped me a lot. Pretty sure you will meet him sooner or later and he even helped me get this sweet little home." Dean says and then he points at his house.

Dean is actually very proud of it. Most of the stuff he restored himself.

"Does every house here come with a man waiting at the door, or is that your boyfriend?" Sam asks when they come closer and there is indeed someone waiting at Dean's door.

_What the fuck._

Dean stops when he sees it's Castiel waiting there.

"That's uhm no…" Dean stutters and he lets go of Sam's hand. He wasn't realizing he was still holding it. Castiel frowns at that behavior and Dean's whole face flushes a beautiful red again. Great.

"Hello Priestly." Castiel says and he sounds almost mad.

"Hi uh... Sam here take the keys and go inside. I'll be with you in a minute." Dean says and he throws the keys into the direction of Sam. Or at least he thinks so but, he hears how the keys jangle, when they fall to the ground.

"Okay." Sam says easily, picks the keys up and then goes inside, without another word. Thank god for small miracles.

"Hey Cas. What's up?" Dean tries to go for cool, but when he wants to lean cool against the small pillar that holds his porch up, he nearly smacks his head against it, when he misjudges the distance. Dean ducks his head.

"I see you have a visitor. Maybe I should leave." Castiel says and his blue eyes are hard, when he looks at Dean again. Dean wants the ground to swallow him up.

"Nah it's okay. Did something happen?" Dean asks and Castiel turns away from him. He looks at the pier and when Dean's eyes follow him, he blushes harder.

"No, I just wanted to see you." Castiel says and Dean's heart makes a jump. Castiel wanted to see him.

"Oh." is all Dean says, because he is a dumbass.

"I looked at the shop for you, but you were gone already and you weren't here either." Castiel says and Dean nods, when Castiel turns back to him.

"Yeah, had some business to do." Dean says quietly.

"Business." Castiel says and Dean frowns. He isn't the bad guy here.

"So what did you do all day? Did you see Azara already?" Dean snaps, because he is jealous like that and Castiel tilts his head.

"Of course I did. It was the first thing this morning." Castiel says slowly and Dean grits his teeth. First thing in the morning, should've been to wake up next to Dean and not running to Azara.

"Great." Dean mutters and he just goes toward his door. He doesn't want to talk to Castiel now. Castiel sighs loudly.

"You know, I wish your shirt was right. Then I could at least arrest you." Castiel says and Dean looks over his shoulder. What the fuck does that mean.

 _‘I sell Crack for the CIA’_ is written on Dean's shirt.

"What?" Dean asks, already angrily, but Castiel shakes his head.

"But I like your hair. It's almost as beautiful as your eyes." Castiel says and with that he is the one, leaving. Dean just stares at his backside. What just happened?

Dean waits another five minutes outside, before he finally opens his door. It makes a funny sound when it collides with Sam's head. Of course he was eavesdropping.

"Sam." Dean says, but he has to laugh, when Sam rubs his head. Seems like it was a bit too much force.

"So you got some love problems too, huh?" Sam asks and he goes over to the couch that is in the middle of the living room. Only the bathroom and bedroom are separated. Kitchen and living room are one big room.

"Seems like it." Dean mutters and goes over to the fridge, to get them more beer. They have some things to plan.

"You wanna talk about it?" Sam asks and Dean shakes his head. There is nothing to talk about. Castiel has Azara.

"No thanks." Dean says and sits down on the tiny bit of couch that is left, now that Sam is sprawled all over it.

"Well he was right you know. Your hair _is_ beautiful." Sam snickers and Dean presses a pillow into his face. God has he missed Sam.

 

*

 

The next day Sam is driving all the way back to Stanford, to get the last of his things. Dean only remembers then that Benny also wants to drop by later. He texts him that he should book a hotel room, since Dean has someone over.

Benny texts a lot of eggplants emoticons back and Dean is now very confused.

"So did you use your time with Castiel?" Charlie says at work and Dean rolls his eyes. Azara is luckily not here. Maybe she woke up next to Castiel.

"Yes. But I don't wanna talk about it." Dean says and he moves around her. Charlie frowns, but she doesn't say more, when the door opens and Azara comes in.

Dean stares at her gaping.

"Oh shit what happened?" Dean says, because Azara has a huge plaster over her forehead. That does look bad. Dean frowns. Castiel would never… yeah he was angry yesterday but he would never, right?

"Oh, yeah, isn't it beautiful. I mean, when I klutz out, I really klutz out." Azara says and puts her bag away. Charlie and Eileen also seem very worried and Dean doesn't really believe what she is saying.

"What did you do?" Charlie asks and she narrows her eyes. So she doesn't really believe that either.

"I was just rollerblading and wasn't really paying attention. So I stumbled and went down. It's not a big deal." She says slowly, but she doesn't look at them. She is fiddling with her apron and she seems way too nervous.

When Dean, Charlie, and Eileen don't say anything, Azara huffs.

"You guys, I'm fine." She says again and then goes over to work. Dean shakes his head and starts making some sandwiches, too.

The rest of the work day it's quiet in the sandwich shop. Nobody tries to talk to Azara again and at some point Charlie leaves, since she opened this day. Dean promises that they would talk later, while he thinks how he could set up Eileen with Sam again.

It's only two hours later that his phone announces a new message, just as Dean wants to head home. He first thinks it's Sam, who is back early. Dean wanted to cook them dinner, but it's Charlie. Just SOS. Dean hastily grabs his bag and tells Gabriel he has to leave.

On the way to Charlie he texts Sam, that he would be back late, since a friend has an emergency. Dean nearly falls up the stairs to Charlie's apartment and knocks on it over ten times.

Charlie is crying, when she opens.

"Fuck. Charles, what happened?" Dean asks and she is already in his arms. Dean just presses her against him and strokes over her hair. He hates it to see her sad. Charlie is such a wonderful person.

"K-kevin is not my s-son." Charlie cries and Dean gasps into her hair. So she did talk to Jo like she wanted. Dean had so hoped, that everything was going to end beautifully. Somehow it's fucked up for all of them.

"How do you know?" Dean asks quietly and Charlie takes a step back. She is still crying badly and goes over to her couch. There are already tissues over her table and she takes a new one to blow her nose. Dean carefully sits down on her loveseat.

"J-Jo told me. She gave birth to him and… He isn't my Kevin." Charlie says and then hides her face behind another tissue. Dean doesn't know what to do. He never had a child, but he would be for sure as heartbroken, as Charlie is now.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie." Dean says honestly and Charlie just nods. She seems exhausted and Dean is sure that she has been for a few hours now, but he is glad that she texted him.

"It's just… I was so sure. I had the names and everything and…" Charlie says and then she stops. Dean waits for her to say more, but she doesn't.

"I wish I could do something for you." Dean says and he means it. He can't promise her anything, because Dean isn't sure they could ever find her real son.

"It's just, one second she tells me how much Kevin had to suffer as a kid, because of Ruby and I was blaming myself for his pain, since I gave him away. But then…then she says, her wife was so happy, when Jo gave birth to Kevin." Charlie says and she shakes her head.

"Shit. I'm really sorry, Charles. I would've wished that he was yours. Did you…did you tell Jo that you thought that she adopted Kevin and he was actually your son?" Dean asks and he reaches for another tissue, when Charlie starts to cry harder.

"Yeah, I told her, somehow. Heck I even said my name wasn't Celeste and that…that he… that I thought he was my baby and not hers. She just told me that they tried artificial insemination and that Kevin is hers." Charlie says and Dean actually gets up now and sits closer to her. Charlie leans against his side and he carefully strokes over her hair again.

"What else did she say?" Dean mutters and Charlie sniffles.

"Nothing. I ran away." Charlie says and Dean nods. He would've probably run away, too. But then Dean sits up a bit straighter.

"Wait. Why did Kevin suffer as a kid?" Dean asks, because Charlie said that just a minute ago. That he was suffering and in pain. Maybe Kevin is ill? But he was such a sweet kid, from what Dean saw in those rare moments he saw him.

"You wouldn't believe me anyway. Hell I don't believe what Jo told me." Charlie says and this time Dean shudders. He has a very bad feeling about this.

"Please tell me." Dean whispers and Charlie laughs through her tears.

"Kevin's other mother came home one night and was different. And she…well she hurt Kevin. Badly. She broke his fingers and Jo said she would've killed him, if she hadn't…if she hadn't stopped her." Charlie says and Dean frowns.

"Different?" Dean asks and Charlie nods.

"Yeah I mean she actually told me Ruby was possessed by a Demon and that's why she did it. She killed her wife, when the Demon talked to her." Charlie says and she snorts, as if that was just a cruel joke.

Dean groans.

"Charlie okay. You have to stay calm, but I think Jo is right." Dean says and Charlie pushes him away from their cuddling. Dean pouts.

"What the fuck do you mean?" Charlie says and Dean scratches his neck with one hand, a thing he always does when he is feeling uncomfortable. He presses against a spot Castiel had paid lots of attention to, apparently, and groans.

"Yeah, so…surprise. Demons exist?" Dean tries and Charlie slaps him.

"Liar!" She says and Dean shakes his head. He pouts and holds his arm, she just slapped.

"No really. I mean, there are a lot of supernatural things out there. Heck sometimes I believe Rowena is a witch, or something. Anyway…I was a hunter once. My mum died from a demon as well and…well, my Dad went crazy after that. He pushed me and my brother around the freaking country to find it. But we didn't. Killed lots of other stuff though." Dean explains and he can see how Charlie's eyes widen with every word he says.

"Jo said she is a hunter, too. That's why she is always away so late." Charlie says and she holds her hand over her mouth. Dean sits back. She wouldn't throw up on him now, would she?

"Yeah uhm… so I'm sorry that happened to Kevin. No kids should see something like this." Dean says and Charlie is hugging him again.

"I'm sorry for you too, Priestly." She whispers and then she stays like this. Dean doesn't know how long they sit like this, before Charlie carefully gets up.

"Okay enough of those chick-flick moments, that you apparently hate." She says smiling and Dean grins a bit, too.

"What are you doing?" Dean whispers and Charlie stops at the door frame.

"I should sleep. I still feel pretty shitty, but I wanna be alone. Will you be okay?" She asks and Dean snorts.

"I'm fine. I'm just worried about you." Dean says and Charlie smiles at him.

"Tomorrow I will be fine, too. And mock you for that shirt, because I'm still not sure, if I should be offended." She says and when Dean gets up, she kisses his cheek, before he leaves.

Outside it's bit cold and Dean gets his jacket out of his bag. It's already dark now and he slowly walks down the street. He can already see the sandwich shop and he decides to see if someone is still there, when he sees that someone is coming right towards him and only now Dean sees it's Arthur. He stops and looks around. Fuck.

"Oh look at this. The Freak." Arthur says and Dean is glad he is alone and not with Mick, because he could barely fight against this one asshole. There was a time, when Dean would've won easily, but Arthur seems to train daily.

"Just leave me alone." Dean says, but apparently Arthur is having none of it. He just grins and stops right in front of Dean.

"Nice shirt, Freak." He says again and before he can say more, the door to the sandwich shop opens. It's Azara. Dean tries to hide his shirt. It says _'No one knows I'm a lesbian'_ and he isn't sure why he thought it would be a good idea to wear that.

"Arthur?" Azara says loudly and Arthur spits right in front of Dean on the ground, before he goes over to the sandwich shop. Dean swears under his breath, but follows the douchebag anyway, because what if he hurts Azara?

Only when Dean opens the door he sees that Gabriel and Castiel are sitting in one booth too. Gabriel is reading a newspaper and he looks angry, while Castiel glares openly at Arthur.

"Uhm hi." Dean says awkwardly, while Arthur just goes over to Azara. Dean is more focused on Castiel, who doesn't seem to happy to see him either, but he isn't getting the glare, Arthur got a few seconds ago.

"Hello Priestly." Castiel says and Dean goes over to him. Castiel actually scoots over a bit, so Dean can sit next to him.

"A lesbian huh?" Gabriel grins at him and Dean ignores that, even though he is blushing again. Before he can say anything to his defense, not that he has a defense, he just thought it was funny, Castiel speaks up.

"I thought you would be bisexual. Since you obviously like men and women." Castiel says and he frowns down at Dean's shirt. Dean is for sure as red as a firemen truck.

"I uhm..." He stutters but Gabriel and Castiel aren't even listening. Not the coming out Dean thought he would get. But then again maybe everyone knows already.

"You ready to go babe?" Arthur says then and Dean's head snaps so fast towards them, that it freaking hurts.

Babe? Like they are dating, babe? Dean looks back to Castiel, who seems focused on Arthur and Azara. Just like Gabriel.

"Hey Gabriel. Can I leave ten minutes early?" Azara asks and she sounds almost pleading. Dean is a bit confused to be honest.

"Sure, Angel. Just be careful, if you go rollerblading." Gabriel says and he puts his glasses away. He looks really angry now and Dean gasps. Gabriel doesn't believe it was an accident either. He believes it was Arthur.

And if Azara was dating Arthur that means…

Dean feels really ashamed. Castiel wasn't dating Azara. He was only seeing Dean and Dean fucked it up so badly. Before he can apologize Gabriel gets up and goes to the kitchen.

"Excuse us for a second?" Gabriel says and Dean nods a bit overwhelmed. He lets Castiel out of the booth and then decides to go outside. Because maybe Arthur really did hurt Azara. Dean has to make sure Arthur won't touch her ever again.

Mostly, he is glad that it wasn't Castiel, how could he ever think that?

"I don't like how the old hippie calls you Angel." Arthur is saying to Azara outside the shop. They are on the small street behind the shop and Dean gets closer.

"Look, I didn't want to make a scene in there, but there is no way I'm ever going out with you again." Azara says and Dean takes a deep breath. Okay good. Azara could do this on her own. Dean would still wait for Castiel, they really need to talk.

"What, because you got a little bruise? You can't blame me, if you're clumsy." Arthur laughs and Dean wants to see how Azara will punch him. That would be a lovely picture.

"Clumsy? This would've never happened, if you and Mick hadn't tried to force me to do something I didn't wanna do." Azara says and Dean clenches his fists. Maybe he couldn't stand up for himself to an idiot like that, but he would do it for Azara.

"Wait." Castiel says and when the fuck did he got next to him.

"Forced you? Give me a break. Come on, get in the car." Arthur laughs. Azara doesn't even move one bit. Dean is trying to look at Castiel, but he is still holding Dean back.

"Look, why don't you and Mick just admit that the girl is unnecessary and get on with it." Azara says and Dean presses his eyes shut.

"What are you talking about?" Arthur asks back and he sounds scarily calm. Castiel shushes Dean.

"Are you so far in the closet that you can't see the light? You and Mick are hot for each other. You just use the girl, so you can pretend to be straight." Azara says and Dean would chuckle, if the situation wasn't so bad.

This time Arthur grabs her and presses Azara against the wall.

"Listen to me. I'm no fag. I was Captain of the football team in high school." He says and before Dean can do something, Arthur actually takes a step back. Captain of the football team. Dean wants to puke.

"Why don't you just be a man and admit what you are. No one cares, that you're gay." Azara says and Dean kinda wants to applaud at her. It's only side note for him, that she wouldn't hate Dean for falling in love with Castiel.

This time Arthur slaps her and before Castiel can hold him, Dean is already running towards them. Nobody would hurt his friends.

"Call me queer again and I will kill you." Arthur says and Azara holds her cheek, but she is laughing.

"Sorry to break it to you, but you were fucking a guy the whole time." She says and when she turns towards Arthur her eyes are glowing white. Dean nearly falls on his ass, when he sees that.

"You're an angel!" Arthur says and in the next second he already has a knife in his hand. Dean is faster and jumps against Arthur, so they both tumble to the ground.

"You will not hurt her, you piece of shit." Dean yells, when he gets up again. He kicks away the knife, that fell to the ground, when Arthur was falling on his back.

"The freak an angel, too?" Arthur asks and he looks a bit closer at Dean.

Dean isn't sure what is happening. Angels? How is that even possible and why the heck does Arthur know about them. Is he a hunter as well?

"You okay?" Dean asks and he looks at Azara. Arthur uses that moment, to punch Dean into his stomach. The next hit goes straight to his head and this time Dean is the one going to the ground. Fuck.

He barely feels someone next to him, holding his head. He can't even open his eyes, but he hears that Arthur tries to get Azara again.

"Hey Shithead." Somebody says and Dean knows at least, that it's Gabriel talking.

"What do you want?" Arthur asks back and Dean coughs. Somebody is stroking over his hair and Dean opens his eyes. He sees how Gabriel goes closer to Arthur.

"I want you to suffer, because you hurt my brother." Gabriel says and Arthur seems confused for a second. As is Dean.

"Brother?" Arthur says and Dean mouths the word, too. What is happening? Is he dead?

"Azara is actually my _brother Balthazar_ and you will pay for slapping him, bastard." Gabriel says and Dean's head is actually spinning now. Maybe he is dead. Or seeing things nobody else sees. Wouldn't be the first time either.

"So, you're an angel, too?" Arthur grins but Gabriel shakes his head.

"I'm an Archangel, pretty boy." Gabriel says and then he snaps his fingers. There is some really bright light around them and Dean closes his eyes again. He whimpers into the hands, who are still holding him.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel." Azara… or Balthazar says and she… or he sounds really sad.

"It's okay Balthy. You couldn't know. He actually was a man of letters and even I only saw that just now. But a bad one, I have to say. I made sure to erase all his memories, but I couldn't help playing a few dirty pranks on him and Mick." Gabriel says quietly and Dean coughs again.

When he opens his eyes, bright blue eyes are staring down at him. Castiel is smiling a bit.

"Are you okay, baby?" Castiel asks and then presses a kiss to Dean's forehead. Maybe Dean is in heaven now? That would be a very nice heaven. He smiles.

"Are you an angel?" Dean asks and Castiel grins.

"Yeah I am."

Dean's eyes roll into the back of his head and he blacks out.

 

*

 

When he wakes up again, he is sitting on someone's lap. Dean groans, because his head his hurting like hell, but then somebody strokes over his hair and the pain is gone. Dean sighs happily.

"What's happening?" Dean mutters sleepily and when he opens his eyes he sees Gabriel, Azara, Eileen, and Charlie sitting around him. That means he is sitting on…Castiel.

"How are you feeling, Priestly?" Castiel whispers and Dean just gasps at him. Castiel is an angel. He is in love with an angel. He hastily gets up from Castiel's lap and sits back down next to Charlie.

He tries to ignore Castiel's sad eyes. But he is a freaking angel. Dean could never date an angel. That is so out of his league. He kinda freaks out and Charlie holds his hands.

"So that was a nice day, hm?" Gabriel says quietly and he looks out of his window. He seems almost pained and Dean isn't sure what he should do. Run maybe? He didn't know angels exist. John had always said there were no angels.

But his mom.

"Angels are watching over you."

She always had said that to him and Dean had believed it in all those years. Or maybe he had wished for it to be true. Now that he is sitting in a room with two angels and an archangel, he feels a bit scared.

Are they… the good kind of supernatural creatures? Man he wishes Sammy was here right now.

"I can't believe this. First Jo tells me she is a hunter and kills demons and now you are trying to say that you are angels?" Charlie says and Dean presses closer to her. He doesn't feel good and that's not only because his lights got punched out.

"It's not like we wanted to tell you." Azara says and she is actually sulking. Gabriel chuckles a bit.

"Just great." Charlie mutters, but she is also searching for comfort in Dean. Maybe she thinks Dean is just as confused as she is. Gabriel sighs.

"Okay so since the cat is out of the bag anyway." Gabriel starts and Castiel looks hastily around. Dean can't help it, he is still staring at Castiel. Just as he learns Castiel isn't together with Azara, there is a new reason he can't have him.

"Where is a cat?" Castiel asks and Dean hides his smile. Maybe being an angel is what makes Castiel so awkward sometimes.

"There is no Cat. It's a figure of speech, Cas. Anyway, what I wanted to say is, yes I'm an archangel. Balthazar and Castiel are my brothers and we came to earth years ago and stayed. Any questions?" Gabriel asks and he leans back in his seat. Azara sits next to him and smiles at least a bit. She still looks a bit shaken up though.

"Why a sandwich shop?" Dean blurts out and everyone is looking at him.

"Really that is your first question?" Azara says and now she is grinning at Dean, who blushes under all the gazes.

"Yeah… I mean you could've done everything." Dean mutters and Gabriel laughs.

"You're right. Well first of all, it fucked up little Cassie here. He thought it was a waste of time. But Balthazar and I always liked the humans and we decided to become part of a normal life." Gabriel explains and Castiel huffs annoyed.

"First we wanted to open a bakery or a sweet shop, but to be honest, that would've been kinda obvious, since Gabe loves sweets and other angels would've found us easier." Balthazar says and Gabriel winks at them.

"Why don't you want the other angels to find you?" Charlie says and Dean looks over to Eileen. She looks pretty relaxed there. Not afraid at all or anything.

"Well we had… kind of a war in heaven. My brother Lucifer and Michael were trying to take over the control in heaven. It… was too much for me. I didn't want to see my brothers killing each other and they wanted me to pick a side. So I left." Gabriel says and he gets up now and looks out of his big window into the night.

"Gabriel asked me to come with him and we also took Castiel with us. I was always fascinated with the world down here and Castiel was practically raised by Gabriel." Azara says slowly and Castiel looks at his hands.

Dean's chest squeeze uncomfortable.

"Now you know. I mean I could erase your memories and we would all pretend you never saw that, but I feel… like you're my family now, I trust you and I really hope you will stay." Gabriel says, but he still not looking at them. Dean doesn't know what to say.

Eileen slowly gets up and stands directly besides Gabriel, before she puts a hand on his shoulder and leans against him. Unlike Gabriel she is still looking at them.

"Eileen you knew." Dean says then and it's not a question. Eileen nods.

"My parents… were killed by a Banshee. I lost my hearing back then. It was Gabriel who found me." Eileen says quietly and Dean opens his mouth, but then Gabriel turns back to him.

"You know why you never find any hunts here, Priestly. Because I take care of most of them. Well I know there are some hunters here, too. Like Jo." Gabriel explains and Dean can feel Castiel's gaze on him.

"You're a hunter, too?" Castiel asks now and he sounds almost angry and also disappointed. Dean nods, but doesn't look at him.

"I was a hunter. So, you know all about us or what? Can you all read minds?" Dean says and Gabriel smiles at him.

"No, when we left heaven, we left most of our grace there, too. Since Castiel and Balthazar are not archangels, they barely have grace left. Sure they can heal small wounds or fix small things, have a better hearing and stuff like that, but nothing more. Instead, they actually do enjoy food, that wasn't possible before as an angel." Gabriel explains and Dean looks to Castiel.

When he had hurt his finger, Castiel had kissed it and it was healed immediately. Castiel had used his grace on him. Castiel doesn't meet his eyes. He just healed him again with his headache a few seconds ago.

"And you?" Charlie asks and Gabriel grins again.

"Well I can do a bit more. I can feel who is only human and who is a supernatural creature, as you so lovely put it. But, I can't read minds. I do feel other people's feelings." Gabriel says and Dean blushes a bight red. Oh dammit.

"But when you saved Eileen…" Dean starts, but Eileen shakes her head.

"It's okay Dean. He tried to heal me, but his grace wasn't enough. Sometimes I can hear him in my head. It's only your voices I can't hear. Gabriel, Azara, and Castiel use their grace to speak to me." Eileen says, but she is smiling. Dean admires her for being so strong.

"I'm in a circus." Charlie laughs then and Dean sees that the others start to smile, too.

"So enough of this heartbreaking stuff. Are you alright? Balthazar?" Gabriel asks and he looks at Azara, who is still sitting there.

"Yeah I'm good. Priestly and you saved me." She says and smiles at him. Dean shuffles his feet.

"So do you… I mean do we call you Balthazar now?" Dean says quietly and the grin he gets from Azara looks almost normal.

"You can call me what you want, dear." Azara says and Gabriel turns around to slap her against the shoulder. She laughs.

"What Balthazar wanted to say is, that he choose a female vessel. Angel don't really have genders, Priestly. It's just that Balthazar gets more sex out of it, because males apparently fall a lot easier for the stupid lines Balthazar practiced." Gabriel explains and Azara winks at him.

"I'm okay if you keep calling me Azara, it was my nickname even before I choose this vessel. Only Gabriel and Castiel always use Balthazar since they are born with a stick in their asses. I don't care about pronouns either." Azara says and Gabriel rolls his eyes.

"Seems like we are a crazy family." Charlie huffs and Dean has to say, she is actually pretty calm, for all the stuff that happened.

"Family is always a bit crazy. I mean even before the whole angel and hunter thing we were already kind of pathetic." Gabriel says and he laughs.

"Speak for yourself. I really liked Arthur." Azara says and she sounds so sad again. Dean kinda wants to hug her, but he isn't sure if he is allowed, yet. God, she liked Arthur. And he had thought she would steal Castiel. Dean feels so stupid.

He glances at Castiel again.

"Arthur was an asshole. He already treated you badly, before he knew you were an angel." Castiel says and Dean has to nod. Azara hadn't healed her own wound when Arthur had hurt her. Apparently she wanted Gabriel and Castiel to know, how he treated her.

"A man of letters. Of course I fall in love with one of those dickheads." Azara says and Gabriel takes her hand.

"What is a man of letters?" Charlie asks and Dean is also very interested in that answer.

"They have a huge knowledge of mysteries of the supernatural and are kinda like an order. Kinda like hunters, but as a group and well…let’s say they look down on normal hunters. Pretty good killers though." Gabriel says and Dean looks down.

John had thought him many things, but angels or the men of letters aren't part of that.

"Besides there are worse things to fall in love with." Gabriel says and he takes a sip of a beer. Dean hadn't even seen when he got one, so apparently he had produced it out of thin air. Awesome.

"It's actually kinda funny. We all are in love with someone we can't have." Eileen says then and Gabriel chuckles. Dean can see the tears in Azara's eyes and he feels really sorry for her. She really seemed to like Arthur.

"I'm sure it will work out with Fuzzy. You could write him again." Charlie says and Dean presses a kiss against Charlie's cheek.

"And you should really talk to Jo again. Even if Kevin is not your son, you love both of them." Dean says, because at this point, he doesn't think they have secrets in their little family anymore.

Well okay Dean has a few.

"And Gabriel why don't you finally grow some balls and ask Rowena out?" Dean says smiling, but Gabriel rolls his eyes.

"Because she is a witch." Gabriel says and Dean nearly falls from the couch he sits on. What the heck! He always had that feeling about her, but that feeling never stayed long with him. Maybe she had erased his memories more than once?

"Come on, you didn't see that? Are you that bad of a hunter?" Azara says grinning and maybe she is happy for the change of topic.

"She literally sent the girls a spell with them against ghosts when they met Fuzzy." Gabriel says and Dean gasps. Fuck, Gabriel is right. How could Dean be this stupid.

"Oh." Dean makes and they all start laughing at him.

"A witch. Oh god, what else is there I need to know?" Charlie asks after they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Yeah Bobby some kind of monster too?" Dean grins, because he can't imagine that. Bobby is also still sitting in his wheelchair. He could hex himself healthy again, right?

"Nope, but he dates the King of Hell." Azara says happily and Dean chokes on his own spit. Because _what the hell?_ Literally.

"Crowley is also Rowena's son." Castiel says and Dean feels a big headache coming up. This is all a bit much. And he was worried about liking guys. But then again Castiel isn't even a guy, he just has a male body and yeah. There is the headache.

"Really?" Dean says and Gabriel laughs.

"Yeah his dog is a hellhound. You never wondered why the little dog is so angry?" Gabriel laughs and Dean rubs over his forehead. Oh god.

"You should still talk to her. Or do you have a war against witches?" Charlie says and Gabriel shakes his head.

"Maybe I will. I mean I know her from another time, but she is calmer the last years. I always liked her, but now that she is also being nice." Gabriel sighs.

"You know that we don't live by our old rules anymore. We're free and I think you should finally take her out." Azara says and Charlie cheers loudly. Even Eileen and Castiel laugh at the face Gabriel makes.

"Okay, but you have to promise me something, too. No more shitheads. Find a nice guy." Gabriel says and Azara cuddles up against him.

"I promise. But nice guys don't ask me out." Azara whispers back and Dean looks at his hands. He is such an asshole for ever thinking bad of Azara.

"Hmm, maybe they need some courage, too then." Gabriel says and Azara shrugs.

"We could all use some courage." Charlie says and Dean nods. But how will he ever have the courage to date an angel?

"I uhm… am bisexual." Dean sputters and everyone around him starts laughing again. Dean pouts, that was not the coming out he had hoped for.

"Oh believe me, we do know that." Gabriel says, but he gets up and claps Dean on the shoulder. Charlie is also cuddling him again and Dean has to smile, too.

"But I'm glad you finally figured it out. Now don't let other things stop you from being happy." Gabriel says and with that he goes over to his bedroom. Castiel leaves shortly after that.

He isn't even looking at Dean.

"So Castiel is your brother?" Dean asks and Azara grins at him. Maybe she knows what he wants to know.

"Yeah and?" She asks back and Dean groans quietly.

"Then why did you flirt with him and pretended you didn't even know him?" Dean asks and Azara's smile grows a bit softer.

"Because, you would've never made a move on him otherwise, Priestly. I didn't mean to take it this far and I thought you knew about Arthur. It was funny, but I'm still sorry." Azara says and Dean nods.

Without saying anything else, he gets up and then brings Charlie and Eileen home. After that he finally walks to his own house and opens the door. He can hear Sammy snoring on his couch and he smiles as he goes to bed.

He has a plan. At least for his friends. Because seriously, he is still kinda overwhelmed that Castiel is an angel. He doesn't want to drag his filth all over an angel.

Tomorrow he would make sure to meet up with Rowena and then set her up with Gabriel. He would help Charlie to talk to Jo again. And the plan about Sam meeting Eileen again, is also ready.

But how could he help Azara?

Dean's phone beeps. Benny.

Dean grins. _Oh yeah._

 

*

 

Dean is actually in a good mood the next morning. Sam is still kinda trying to understand, that Castiel, Azara and Gabriel are angels, but he is not freaking out at least.

"So, now that you know Castiel was never dating Azara, will you finally make a real move?" Sam says as he eats Dean's eggs and bacon. Finally, some real food for his little brother.

"I'm not sure, I mean… he is an angel." Dean says quietly. He doesn't deserve someone like Castiel anyway and now the angel stuff makes it only more clear.

"Bullshit." Sam says and Dean raises his eyebrows.

"Were you raised in a barn?" Dean chuckles and Sam slaps him against his shoulder.

"No, but by my weird big brother. I'm just saying, you want to set up an Archangel with a Witch, a human with a hunter, another hunter with a victim of a hunt, and also an angel with a vampire. How would your own situation not fit in?" Sam says and Dean swallows his food.

"Look at me. I never fit in anywhere." Dean says and Sam's eyes widen.

"That's what you're afraid of, that he is going to leave you, like me and Dad?" Sam says and Dean presses his eyes shut.

"I'm…" Dean starts but Sam shakes his head.

"Oh, Dean." Sam says and then Dean is already in his arms. Dean presses his face against Sam's chest and somehow, even halfway sits down on his little brother's lap. Great can it be any more embarrassing?

"It's not about being ashamed to like guys hm? It's not about being in love with an angel. It's because you are afraid he will leave. That you are alone again. Those are just excuses." Sam says and Dean can't hold back his tears anymore.

"I-i'm afraid." Dean whispers and he knows that Sam never once in his life, heard those words from his big brother. Not when he stood outside watching their house burn down, not when John slapped him again, not when a werewolf nearly ripped his chest open.

Dean cries harder and it's hard to muffle the sound.

"It's okay to be afraid." Sam whispers into Dean's hair and he strokes his brother's back.

"I don't w-want this." Dean says and Sam nods against his hair. Dean presses a tiny bit closer. He will allow himself this comfort for now. He just hopes Sam would never mention it again.

"I know, but believe me. I think Castiel really likes you, from what you told me. Give him a chance. We make a deal. You help me with Eileen and I help you with Castiel." Sam says and Dean sits back again. He wipes his face clean from the tears and nods.

"B-but, I think he already hates me." Dean whispers and he plays with the hem of his shirt.

"Nobody could ever hate you Dean. I think you should really talk to him." Sam says and Dean nods. He wishes it would be so easy. He would love to be Castiel's boyfriend, but he is so afraid.

He really never fit into anyone's life. So he always made sure to already look different then the other people. Wear shirts that are offending a lot of people. Dresses in kilts or dyes his hair too much and the make-up, the piercings and the tattoos.

He excluded himself. Just so nobody would hurt him again.

But then he actually started to like to dress like this and to dye his hair. And when he finally found some friends here, that didn't look at him badly, he didn't tell them the truth about himself. Didn't tell them about his real name, his past life or that he likes guys.

"W-what if Castiel doesn't like me like this?" Dean says quietly and points at his hair, because Castiel always made comments about his hair or his shirts. Made fun of him.

"Then he is an idiot. Sure, I tease you for your style, too. But, Dean, it's about the soul, nothing else. You told me that and you do look good." Sam says and he starts eating again. Dean nods. He knows that Sam is right.

"Okay, maybe I should just… what If I try to look normal for one day? To see if he really likes my soul and… to see if he would like me normal better. I mean you dress different too, so Eileen won't recognize you and run away again." Dean says quietly and Sam sighs.

"I get where you come from and I do believe it won't cause any harm. Castiel will tell you that he likes you, no matter how crazy you look." Sam says and he grins. Dean rolls his eyes, but he is happy, that Sam is here.

"Just remember to come to the shop tonight." Dean says and Sam waves, before he shuts the bathroom door in Dean's face.

Half an hour later he is walking with Charlie and Eileen to the sandwich shop. Still with his green hair and make-up. Today he would focus on his friends and tomorrow…he would try to get himself a boyfriend.

"Hey! You can't hide forever, Celeste." Jo says and Dean nearly lets his coffee fall down, when he hears that. Jo was sitting on a bench, across the street and Dean hadn't seen her.

"Or whatever your name is." Jo says and she sounds really sad.

"What do you want?" Charlie says and Dean wants to kick her. This is not what they talked about.

"I want the truth. You own me that much." Jo says and Charlie nods. Dean watches them go down the street and opens the shop. Eileen looks sad too.

"I hope that it does work out." Dean mutters under his breath, while he starts to prepare some food for the day. But his hopes are turned down, when Charlie runs into the shop only ten minutes later and she is crying again.

Dean nearly pushes Eileen out of the way, so he can hug Charlie and she falls into his arms.

"I told her everything. I-I even that I didn't want to become part of their lives. I just wanted to know that Kevin is alright. B-but I did and it's such a mess." Charlie blubbers into Dean's bright yellow shirt and he holds her through it.

"What did she say?" Dean whispers and Charlie shakes her head.

"She is angry, because I lied to her. And I was angry that she didn't understand why I did it. And now I don't have my son, but I also don't have Kevin and Jo either." Charlie says and Dean carefully strokes her hair.

He wishes he knew how to fix this. Charlie sniffles and then breaks the hug before she goes over to Eileen, who hugs her as well.

Fuck Dean would need more time. He hastily texts Gabriel that he would need to change his shift again and without another word, leaves Charlie and Eileen alone in the shop.

"Rowena?" Dean says, when he walks into her shop and hallelujah. Yeah that does look like a shop a witch would have.

"Dean." She says and Dean smiles awkwardly.

"Huh, so you know." He mutters, because she never called him Dean before.

"Of course I know, darling. And it seems like you finally know what I am, as well. So I don't have to play with your sweet little head anymore." She says, but her smile is soft as always. Dean pouts anyway.

"I wouldn't have hurt you." Dean says and Rowena smiles.

"Better be safe than sorry. So what can I help you with? Some love poison for little Castiel? Honestly I don't think you need that, he already seems in love with you." Rowena says, while she pours herself some tea. It smells weird and Dean sniffles awkwardly.

"Uhm no… I just wanted uhm… to talk about Gabriel?" He says and man he should've thought about what to say beforehand. Rowena chuckles.

"I really like him." She says at least and Dean smiles.

"But, he likes you too! Why don't you ask him out?" Dean wants to know, because apparently at least one of his friends could be happy. Dean cheers mentally and Rowena grins. Oh maybe she can read thoughts.

"He is an archangel, what would he want with an old witch like me?" Rowena says and sips from her tea. Dean sighs loudly. Apparently, they are all a bunch of idiots.

"The thing is, he really likes you and is just too shy. It doesn't matter to him that you are a witch and you should go to him. He is always at the beach around this time. Maybe… maybe talk to him, please?" Dean says and Rowena comes closer.

She strokes his cheek again.

"If I do that, will you be brave and talk to Castiel, too?" She says and Dean swallows loudly.

"Uh yeah… but tomorrow. I have a plan." Dean stammers and Rowena winks at him, before she goes into the back of her shop.

"You may leave Dean. I apparently have plans." Rowena says and Dean hastily gets out of the shop when one of the paintings winks at him. Dean runs down towards the beach, gets himself another coffee, and sits down on a bench a bit away from Gabriel.

He only waits for ten minutes and then finally sees Rowena coming down the street. She rolls her eyes when she sees Dean sitting there, but goes over to Gabriel.

"Your idea?"

Dean jerks a bit and the coffee spills over his hand. Castiel sits next to him, as if nothing happened.

"Rowena and Gabriel? Yeah. I told her they just need to talk and maybe kiss." Dean says and he chuckles. Castiel isn't answering, he just stares down at Rowena and Gabriel, who are at least talking to each other.

"Cas? I'm sorry, about uhm, everything." Dean says and Castiel nods once.

"It's okay Dean. I mean I can read. Not your thoughts, but at least your body language." Castiel says and with that he already gets up again. Dean looks down at his shirt and groans.

 _‘You can read’_ is written on it today. He sighs. Somehow he always fucks things up with Castiel. He would make up with him and maybe even make out with him again.

Dean was never so in…. _fuck_. He is really in love with Castiel. It's not just a crush anymore. Dean sighs and drinks his coffee. Hopefully Castiel will forgive him, because now Dean would do anything for him.

Castiel isn't dating Azara and yes he is an angel. But Dean would make sure to show Castiel how he feels.

Dean almost starts cheering loudly, when suddenly Rowena and Gabriel are kissing each other. Dean jumps up and raises his fist. Yes! One couple down. Four more to go. He could do this.

Dean then hastily goes away from the beach before Gabriel sees him or something. He isn't sure what Rowena said to him, but it looks like it was the right words. Dean is happy and takes out his phone.

"Benny." Dean says happily and Benny groans.

"What do you want now?" Benny says and Dean hears that he is watching TV. Lazy vampire.

"Just wanted to tell you, that I'm free tonight. Sammy is going out, so house is all mine." Dean says and he stops, when he sees that Jo and Kevin are on their way to the sandwich shop. Oh no. That is not his plan.

"Sure, I'll bring the beer." Benny easily says and with that he already hangs up. Dean shrugs. Beer is fine anyway. Dean goes around the shop and nearly runs into Gabriel, who is also using the back entrance.

How could he been so fast… oh wait Archangel. Yeah.

"You good?" Dean asks and Gabriel just laughs.

"Rowena told me you set us up. But, yes, I'm better than good." Gabriel says and he ruffles Dean's hair. Dean sighs and tries to save his faux mohawk, but by now it probably looks like a sad excuse.

"I mean I'm still a bit scared of Rowena, because she is a witch. But I do think angels are cool." Dean says, while he goes over to the stove. Gabriel rolls his eyes and sits down at one table. He gets out another sucker. Dean rolls his eyes at him as well.

"Angels can be dicks, too. But I actually know how to deal with them. Humans are the ones, I don't understand."

Dean smiles, because he knew Jo would really come in. Seems like someone is still interested in Charlie. Dean nearly high-fives himself.

"H-hey." Charlie presses out and Jo looks at her. Dean waves at Kevin.

"Can we talk maybe? Because Kevin and I have to talk to you." Jo says easily and Charlie looks over to Gabriel, who waves her off. Charlie takes her jacket and then leaves with Jo and Kevin. Dean hastily rounds the counter and presses his face against the glass.

He has to see this.

"We are so lucky that you aren't noisy or anything." Gabriel laughs, but Dean just shushes him. Please let Jo forgive Charlie, she deserves it so much.

He can see that they are talking, just across the street. While Kevin is running up to some street musicians. Dean smiles. Maybe one day if he plays his cards right, he gets to have that, too.

"And?" Gabriel asks from his place and Dean snickers.

"Jo is putting her arm around Charlie! Oh my god, she is kissing her cheek!" Dean babbles excited and Gabriel clasps his hand. Dean would love to run outside just to hug Charlie and Jo. This is so perfect. Two couples down. Three to go.

"What about Castiel hm? Doesn't he deserve a happy ending?" Gabriel says and he looks up at Dean, who nods slowly.

"Yeah I mean… I do… uhm, like him and I wanna fix that." Dean mumbles and Gabriel points at the seat across from him. Dean sits down and gulps nervously.

"Do I get the big brother talk now?" Dean asks and Gabriel grins.

"If you hurt him Priestly, I will hurt you. But since I do have eyes and I can feel your emotions pretty well, I know that you like him. So why are you not sitting on his lap right now?" Gabriel asks and Dean shrugs.

"I was uhm… scared. I never had a real relationship and it freaks me out that I'm not good enough for him. First I thought he was dating Azara and then…that he is even more out of my league." Dean babbles and Gabriel's eyes grow softer.

"Oh Priestly." Gabriel says and Dean swallows his tears.

"I'm sorry, I will try to fix this." Dean says and Gabriel nods.

Dean is still excited hours later, when Charlie comes back and tells them Jo and Kevin still want her in their lives. Dean cuddles her for more than ten minutes, but he is so happy about it. Even Azara seems happier today, when she comes in for her shift.

Before they can say something more the door opens and when Dean looks at the clock he knows it's Sam.

He looks kinda funny like this. With a big hat and a dirty trench coat. Dean sighs happily, when he thinks about Castiel's trench coat.

"Hi." Eileen says and Dean slowly goes over to his oven again. He is grinning openly at Sammy but he can't really help it.

"Are you hungry?" Eileen asks and Sam coughs a bit. Dean presses a hand over his mouth, so he doesn’t start laughing.

"No." Sam says and then just stands there. Dean rolls his eyes. Maybe they should've practiced more.

"Then how can I help?" Eileen asks and she sounds a bit worried.

"You're pretty." Sam says and this time Dean bites down on his hand, so he wouldn't laugh so loud, that every customer would run away. Because that had happened before.

"Oh I don't know about that." Eileen actually signs and Dean wants to smack his head against the wall.

"I do." Sam freaking signs back and Dean gasps. He hadn't known Sammy had learned that, but he feels so proud.

Eileen gasps and the entire shop is quiet now.

"Well thank you." Eileen stammers out and Sam smiles at her.

"And you are exactly what I hoped you would be." Sam continues and this time Eileen finally seems to understand, what he is saying. She puts both her hands over her mouth, when Sam takes the big hat off and looks at her. Really looks at her.

"Ladybuggger." Sam whispers and Eileen seems a bit overwhelmed, but she is smiling. Sam just opens his jacket and pulls a white rose out of it. His smile is so boyish and cute, Dean wants to tease him. But he can't.

Eileen gets up from her seat and Sam rounds the counter to meet her halfway. Eileen's fingers shake when she takes the rose, but Sam just hugs her tight against him.

Dean is grinning so widely, it nearly hurts. Charlie and Azara next to him are smiling as well and even Gabriel has to laugh. Eileen has tears in her eyes and Dean cheers.

"Ha! Always log out off your computer, Eileen." Dean says happily and the girls seem all a bit surprised. Dean snickers loudly and Sam just rolls his eyes at him.

"Can we maybe go somewhere and talk? Face to face for a change?" Sam says and Dean pouts. He wanted to hear what Sam has to say to her, but he can understand that he wants to be alone for that. Dean still blows him a kiss and Sam grins back.

"I'd like that." Eileen whispers and Sam smiles even more.

"I'm Sam Winchester by the way." Sam says and Dean is so proud, he can't believe it. Sam and Eileen fit together perfectly and it doesn't matter that she will never hear Sam's voice. It doesn't matter that Sam killed hundreds of monsters in his life and has blood on his hands.

Only they matter. Together. Dean swallows.

"Hey Sam!" He says loudly and Sam looks back to him. He was already at the door with Eileen still in his arms.

"Yeah?" Sam says and Dean grins even more.

"Where did you get the name Fuzzzy_22 from?" Dean says and Sam has to laugh at that. But the others seem interested in that, too. They had so many discussions about it before and they need to know, who was right.

"Well I was 22 when I made the account and my Hair was kinda fuzzy back then." Sam says and Dean laughs loudly. Yeah Sam is not wrong about that. His hair was always all over the place. Dean winks at him and then he is gone.

"Did you do that?" Charlie asks and Dean grins.

"Yeah. He wrote her again and this time I answered and met him." Dean says and he feels really giddy now. Charlie is already back with Jo and Kevin. Gabriel even kissed Rowena and now Sammy was going to talk with Eileen.

Three down. Two more to go.

"Priestly, seriously good job." Azara says and Dean smirks at her.

"Best thing about it, Sam is actually my brother. Long story. I'll tell you later." Dean says and with that he rounds the counter and is already out of the door, before the girls start asking more questions.

Finally home, Benny is sitting on his porch with the promised beer and grins widely.

"Benny!" Dean says and then he is already hugging the vampire. God he has missed him. They should really meet more often. Those short phone calls every month aren't nearly enough.

"My Cher. How are you holding up?" Benny says and Dean sighs loudly.

"Let's say, I finally found someone to settle down with." Dean says happily and Benny is laughing loudly. Dean stays in his arms for a few more seconds, before he steps back.

"Really, must be a nice fella. That the guy who is living with you here now?" Benny says and points at the house. Dean shakes his head.

"No. You won't believe me, but Sam is here." Dean says and he knows how happy he must look now. Benny gasps at him and then hugs Dean again. Nearly too hard. Dean whines.

"Really? So, you two made up?" Benny says and Dean nods. He ducks out of Benny's arms and then sits down on the porch to get himself a beer. Benny sits down next to him and opens himself one.

"Yeah it's a long story, but he searched for me Benny. Can you believe that?" Dean says and laughs into his beer bottle. He still can't believe it. That there really are some people who love him.

"Course I can, I would search for you, too." Benny says easily and Dean holds his beer bottle up. Benny smirks when he clicks his beer bottle against Dean's.

"What about you? Still alone?" Dean asks and Benny leans back. He looks up into the night sky.

"Yeah. I mean, who would want to put up with a monster like me?" Benny says and he huffs quietly. Dean shakes his head. He knows that Benny isn't a monster. Benny is such a good guy and Dean has the perfect idea.

"Stop calling yourself that. I have a lovely lady for you. Well actually she hasn't a gender or she is a man in a woman's vessel. I'm not sure." Dean says and squints. This is way too complicated.

"Eh?" Benny makes and Dean looks back to him.

"Sorry what I mean is, Azara is an angel." Dean says happily and Benny's eyes widen almost comically. Dean snorts.

"What? Are you already drunk? You had one beer." Benny says and frowns at Dean.

"No I mean it. Her real name is Balthazar, but she is nice." Dean promises and then he thinks of Castiel again and smiles. His very own angel, if he is really lucky. Dean looks automatically at the pier again and blushes.

"Okay so you want to set me up with an angel?" Benny laughs and Dean nods.

"Well you told me you're bisexual and since gender doesn't matter anyway, I thought it was a good idea. She dated a few real assholes and she just looks for a nice guy like you. And I gotta say she is pretty hot." Dean says and he laughs at the end. Benny shakes his head, but he is smiling, too.

"Dean Winchester, saying gender doesn't matter. Am I still alive?" Benny laughs and Dean blushes under his gaze. Yeah, okay, maybe he freaked out when Benny had kissed him, but only because he had known what John would think about it.

"I think… I'm bisexual too." Dean says and Benny grins.

"Yeah, believe me, I figured that out years ago. But it doesn't really matter, aye?" Benny says and Dean nods.

"No, it doesn't. It only matters that I love him." Dean whispers into the night.

And that Castiel loves Dean, too.

 

*

 

Dean is freaking nervous.

And that is still an understatement, he is running around his apartment and can't sit still for a freaking second.

"Dean, seriously. It's okay." Sam says again and Dean glares at him. Easy to say for Sam, since Eileen and he are really together now.

Dean fiddles with his light blue button down shirt. He feels weird in those clothes, but he wants to see if Castiel would like him better, if he dressed normally.

"I feel weird." Dean says loudly and Benny on his couch snorts.

"You look weird, too. So clean." Benny says and takes another plate with eggs Dean made earlier. Sam is eating, too. Only Dean can't really eat anything right now. Dean just rolls his eyes and then at least sits down.

"Okay, so, Eileen says they are all at the sandwich shop." Sam says, when he looks down at his phone. Dean has to hide his smile, because Sam can't stop talking about, or to Eileen. It's really cute to see his brother like this.

"Yeah, then you should leave. I will be there in twenty minutes." Dean says and Sam gets his jacket. Benny eats the last of his breakfast and then follows Sam out of the door. Dean takes a deep breath.

He feels very naked. He goes over to his bathroom and looks into the mirror. Well his tattoos are still there, he can't exactly hide them without using way too much make-up. But he put all his piercing away and he isn't wearing any eyeliner. The worst is his hair. He went to a hairdresser this morning and cut it very short.

It's his real hair color. Dean swallows.

The last time he looked like that, John had left him. Dean even shaved his beard and man he has such a baby face without it. He sighs.

If Castiel would take him like this, he would really love Dean.

He carefully strokes over his button down shirt again and looks at his ugly pants. Ew. Hopefully, he would never need to wear stuff like that again. It's a bit big on him, because those are actually Sam's things.

Dean feels as if everybody is staring at him while he walks to the sandwich shop. He knows that nobody is really paying him attention, but he is looking at the ground the whole way to the shop.

Through the windows he can already see everyone. Gabriel is sitting in one of the booths and Rowena was actually sitting beside him. She even holds his hand. Charlie is drawing on the wall and Dean can see Kevin beside her. Jo is sitting at the counter, but she is watching her son and Charlie.

Sam is, of course, already flirting with Eileen again and she seems to beam up at him. Heck, even Crowley and Bobby are sitting next to each other.

Dean has to snort, when he sees how Azara plays with her hair, as she talks to Benny. Oh and Benny seems interested, too if his hand on her side is saying anything. Dean smiles. He knew Benny would like her.

Dean takes another deep breath and then goes inside. Castiel is sitting at the counter as well. He seems bored now that his brothers are already preoccupied.

Dean isn't sure what to do, so he just stands besides Castiel, who doesn't even look up to him. Dean coughs slightly.

"What can I do for you?" Castiel asks almost annoyed and Dean feels even more shy now. He doesn't really know what to say and then Castiel finally looks at him.

"Holy shit." Castiel says and Dean smiles awkwardly. Castiel never swore before and Dean can hear Gabriel and Azara snickering.

"Castiel, it would be my pleasure if you would agree to accompany me to dinner tonight at 7. I'll cook." Dean says and he doesn't ever stutter around his words. He tries his cutest smile, but Castiel just raises one eyebrow.

"Depends." Castiel says and he is grinning.

"On what?" Dean asks back and Castiel smiles only wider. Dean is a bit scared.

"I wanna know your first name." Castiel says easily and Dean swallows. That's a very hard question, because Castiel fell in love with Priestly right? Not Dean.

"Come on, give me a break, I'm even wearing Sammy's damn clothes." Dean tries, but Castiel just turns back to the magazine he was reading.

"It's B-boaz." Dean stutters out and why the fuck did he pick this name for himself. Well obviously because Sam and John would never believe he took such a name, but still.

"Can't hear you." Castiel says and Dean takes another deep breath.

"Boaz okay. My first name is Boaz." Dean says loudly and Sam behind him starts laughing. Dean turns to him, because he is kinda ruining the moment here, thank you?

"Tell him the truth. Boaz." Sam snorts again and Dean looks back to Castiel, who glares.

"Ah... Dean. My name is Dean Winchester." He mumbles and this time Castiel's smiles is a lot more beautiful. Dean smiles shyly back. Nobody ever reacted that way to his name. It was a name that only meant fight and spilled blood, but Castiel looks at him, as if he was the angel.

"Well can I tell you something, Dean?" Castiel asks and then he leans closer.

"Okay." Dean says dumbly, because what does Castiel want now. He still gets closer to Castiel as well and looks right into those blue eyes he fell in love with.

"This is something I've never told someone else." Castiel says and he seems to mean it. Dean is nervous. What if it’s something bad?

"Yeah, of course." Dean whispers and he really wants to kiss Castiel again. Castiel grins.

"I'm in love with an idiot." Castiel says loudly and everyone starts laughing again. Dean is a bit offended at that, but he smiles, too. Castiel is in love with him. He really likes him. Dean blushes and hastily goes behind his counter.

"Oh there is something I should mention." Dean says then and turns back to Castiel, who leans over the counter now.

"What's that?" Castiel mutters and Dean is already focused on his lips. Damnit. He would never do something else again.

"See with men there's never… I mean…" Dean starts and he his trying to say it like Azara, but Castiel just shakes his head again and puts his finger over Dean's lips. Dean almost licks over it, but then he remembers they are not alone.

"Don't try it." Castiel says, but he is still smiling.

Before Dean can say anything else, Castiel is already kissing him. Just very shortly, but Dean still can't help his little gasp. He even puts his fingers over his mouth, where Castiel just kissed him, even though it wasn't their first kiss.

This was their first official kiss. Dean blushes and looks down.

"Is that a yes?" He asks quietly and Castiel gets up from his chair. He waits for Dean to look at him and then winks.

"Yes Dean, I will see you tonight." Castiel says and Dean shudders a bit. The others are finally doing their own stuff again and Dean tries to get another short kiss. Castiel puts a hand on his chest.

"But I want my Dean back. The one with the colorful hair and adorable shirts." Castiel says and with that he is out of the door. Dean stares after him. So… Castiel never hated his hair, or his T-Shirts? But then, why did he comment so much on it? Oh. Because he was trying to flirt with Dean.

Dean wants to smack his own head, but he blushes when he thinks how many times Castiel pointed out his hair or his T-Shirts.

"Fucking finally." Gabriel says loudly and everybody agrees. Dean tries to ignore them and gets to work. Not that he can really concentrate on it, but somehow he manages to stay alive in the next 6 hours.

Just as he daydreams about Castiel again, Gabriel finally sends him home and Dean nearly runs to his house to get ready. Only nearly though.

He is alone, since he told Benny and Sam he wouldn't want to have them there today. Benny stays in his hotel anyway and Sam said he would stay with Eileen.

It takes Dean way too long to fix them something to eat, but it smells wonderful in his kitchen and he starts to set the table when he sees that Castiel would be here any moment.

So Dean hastily showers and is just brushing his teeth, when it rings at his door.

"Come in!" Dean yells and then rinses his mouth.

"Hello Dean." Castiel says and he smiles at the sight of Dean. He is at least wearing his tight black pants again, but a normal shirt and his hair is a mess. Castiel doesn't seem to care and kisses Dean's cheek.

"I made us something to eat." Dean mumbles and then walks to his living room with Castiel. Of course Castiel looks as handsome as always. He is still wearing his suit and the trench coat, but he looks so much like Cas, that Dean's heart swells.

"Thank you. It looks wonderful." Castiel says and he sits down, after he took his trench coat off. Dean hangs it up and then gets the food from the kitchen. He is nervous, but Castiel is still smiling, when he comes back.

"I made… burgers. Since you love them so much." Dean says smiling and Castiel nods. Dean sits down and they both are quiet for a few moments. Dean isn't sure what to say, but then Castiel looks at him again.

"I thought you were together with Azara and I was just a pity fuck." Dean says and whoa okay. That is so not what he wanted to say. Dean jerks so hard, his fork is falling to the ground and he picks it up with shaking hands.

Castiel's eyes soften.

"How could I ever want someone besides you?" Castiel says and Dean is so surprised, that he doesn't know what to say. His heart is beating so fast, he can hear it in his ears.

"W-why?" Dean gets out and Castiel reaches over the table to hold his hand. Dean feels a bit better now.

"Why? Oh Dean. You still think you don't deserve to be loved. I knew it from the moment I saw you and I couldn't take my eyes of you. I never told you, but appearance is not important to me. I can see your soul and let me tell you Dean, it's so bright and colorful. Like your hair. Like your shirts and like your eyes." Castiel says and Dean can't look him in the eyes anymore.

Nobody ever told him something like that.

"T-thanks?" Dean says and Castiel snorts.

"You're welcome. But, I mean it Dean. Of course you look beautiful like this, but before it was as if your soul was burning outside your mind, too." Castiel says and Dean bites his lips.

"I uh… I thought you were ashamed for me. You did walk away from me when Charlie and Jo saw us." Dean says and Castiel shakes his head.

"I would never be ashamed for loving you. I could feel that you were tense in that moment and I understand that you were unsure about my vessel." Castiel says slowly as he finishes his burger. Dean smiles, when Castiel licks his lips.

"I like your body." Dean admits and Castiel winks at him.

"Yeah I can see that now. You should see your soul now it's almost vibrating, just as it was on the pier." Castiel says and Dean is sure he is blushing at the mention of the pier. But it's still the best memory he has.

"Then why did it take us so long?" Dean asks and Castiel sighs.

"Well, after we had sex, I thought you were finally admitting to yourself, that you liked me. But you thought I was together with Azara and, somehow, I thought you were seeing Sam, when you showed up with him the other night." Castiel says and Dean laughs.

"Nice that we both were jealous of our brothers." Dean says and Castiel just shakes his head.

"I was also jealous of Charlie before that, since I thought you liked her too." Castiel says and he rubs his hand over his forehead. Dean smiles shyly up at him.

"B-but, I only like you." Dean says and Castiel's smile comes back.

Before Castiel can say anything else, Dean takes both of their empty plates and then comes back with some pie he already made yesterday.

"I uhm…well, pie is my favorite thing of the world and..yeah this is my mum's receipt." Dean says and then puts the apple pie down in front of Castiel.

"Do I have to be jealous again, that pie is your favorite thing in the world?" Castiel says and Dean presses a kiss against Castiel's lips.

"No." He whispers and Castiel kisses him again. Dean has to sit down, before he would get lost in Castiel's kisses again. Not that he minds, but he would love to eat his pie.

But then Castiel starts moaning around his fork full of pie and Dean wiggles a bit on his chair. Castiel is full on enjoying the pie and Dean needs all his willpower to concentrate on his own piece of pie.

"Thank you." Castiel says after he finished his pie and Dean tried to think about everything but his…wait what even is Castiel now for him?

"Uhm Cas… what exactly are we now?" Dean asks, because, apparently, he needs to have it spelled out for him. Castiel tilts his head in that adorable way again.

"Angel and Human? I think we could also be described as two male human from somebody else's view, because no one else knows that I'm an angel and…" Castiel stops when Dean gets up from his chair. He nudges Castiel until he leans back in his chair and Dean can awkwardly sit on his lap again.

"I meant… are you my boyfriend now?" Dean shyly asks and he hopes he isn't embarrassing himself here. Castiel just puts both his arms around Dean and kisses him. Longer this time and it leaves Dean breathless.

"If you want me." Castiel breathes against his lips and how could Dean say ever no to that.

"Yes." Dean whispers back and the next minutes they just spent like this. Castiel kisses him again and again and Dean never felt this happy.

At some time Castiel starts kissing his neck again and Dean moans quietly. Seems like Castiel is really obsessed with Dean's tattoos.

"You wanna see what I can still do with my grace?" Castiel mutters against his skin and Dean nods. He would let Castiel do anything.

Castiel presses his hand against Dean's chest and it feels very warm. Dean isn't sure what Castiel is exactly doing to him, but it feels good. It only takes a few seconds and when Dean opens his eyes again, he sees that he is wearing something different.

 _‘I wuv hugs.’_ Is written on his light blue shirt now. There is even a teddy bear on his T-Shirt. Dean gasps down at it. What the heck.

"Cas?" He asks and he can see how his boyfriend starts laughing.

"I told you this morning already, that I missed your stupid Shirts" Castiel says and he presses another kiss against Dean's cheek and yeah maybe he is forgiven, because Dean actually likes hugs. At least from Castiel.

"I just didn't have time to dress properly for the date." Dean says and he pouts. Castiel doesn't seem to care and kisses his lips. He bites down on Dean's under lip.

"Don't worry baby. I'm sure we can take the shirt off together, real soon." Castiel whispers and Dean shudders at those words. He hopes Castiel won't be afraid of all his tattoos, because Dean has quite a few.

"Yes." Dean says and Castiel manages to get up with Dean still in his arms. Dean nearly squeals, when Castiel carries him like he would his bride or a princess. Dean blushes deeply at the thought.

"Bedroom?" Castiel wants to know and Dean just points at the door. He is shaking in Castiel's arms, but he can't wait either. He needs Castiel now.

Now that he knows Castiel is only his. And he is Castiel's.

Castiel carefully sets him on the bed and Dean lays down on his back. He is blushing again, because Castiel is just staring so intensely at him. And he looks as if he could never get enough from Dean.

"You're so beautiful." Castiel says quietly and Dean has to look away. How could Castiel think that. Dean knows how he looks and yeah maybe his eyes are pretty green, but that's about it. Nothing special. But at least he doesn't look so much like the freak, he is.

"C-castiel." Dean says and he squirms on the bed. Castiel just laughs huskily.

"What do you want, _Baby_?" Castiel says and there is the nickname again. Dean can't help it, he loves to be called Castiel's Baby. He never thought he could allow himself something like this. But he can trust Castiel.

He can finally stop being the strong one. He can lean onto Castiel.

"You." Dean only says and Castiel's smile is a lot softer, when he hears that.

“Did you ever?“ Castiel whispers and Dean shakes his head. Oh god. Maybe Castiel would actually laugh at him. Dean looks away, but Castiel’s is having none of it. He kisses Dean just slowly.

“We’ll figure it out together.“ Castiel mumbles against Dean’s skin and Dean nods. That means Castiel never had someone too? Dean smiles shyly at him.

"Let me show you, what I love about you." Castiel whispers, when he carefully gets on the bed, too. He is only wearing his white dress shirt now, the suit jacket on the ground. He looks good like this, while he leans over Dean. He has his knees on both sides of Dean's hips.

"I love your pretty mouth." Castiel says and then they are kissing again. Only this time Dean feels a heat in his chest again and he knows that Castiel is using his grace again. When Castiel breaks the kiss, he focuses on on Dean's under lip.

At first Dean thinks he has a new Shirt on again, but it's still the embarrassing bright blue one. Instead Castiel presses his fingers against Dean's bottom lip and then below it. Dean chuckles. His labret piercing is back.

"I was worried you hated it." Dean whispers, but Castiel shushes him and kisses him quiet.

"I love your mouth, because I love to hear your thoughts coming out of it. I love it when you smile and I can't resist it, when you pout." Castiel says and he grins at the end, because Dean was just doing that. Pouting. Castiel kisses him again.

Dean blushes harder, when Castiel stops and then looks down at Dean's nose. Oh no.

"I love your nose. The way you crinkle it up, when you think about something. The way your freckles dance across it." Castiel continues and this time he actually bends down again to kiss Dean right on the nose.

Dean is sure, that he is squinting down at his nose, because Castiel huffs a laugh. There is the heat of Castiel's grace again and Dean doesn't have to touch his nose to know that Castiel bought his piercing back there as well.

"I love your ears because with them you can keep listening to me talking about you all day. And it's so adorable how you react to my voice." Castiel whispers and presses another hot kiss against Dean's ear. The heat comes back and this time, Dean moans quietly, when Castiel bites down.

"Cas." Dean whispers brokenly already and Castiel chuckles right into his ear.

"It's okay baby, I'm here." Castiel whispers and Dean shudders. Maybe that’s what Castiel means with how Dean reacts to his voice. Dean's earrings are back in place too and he feels already much better. He sighs happily.

"I love your cheeks. Your strong cheekbones and I love it especially when you blush all prettily for me." Castiel says and he strokes over both of Dean's cheeks. He then presses his own cheeks against Dean's and Dean groans.

When Dean puts his own hands against his cheeks, he smiles widely because his beard is back. Thank god. Dean felt so naked without it. Castiel winks at him and then presses a few hot kisses against his jaw.

Dean bares his neck and Castiel kisses his tattoo again.

"I love your tattoo here and I can't wait to see if you have any other tattoos under your shirt." Castiel whispers and Dean presses his eyes close. It feels so good.

"Stop." Dean tries because he is ashamed, but Castiel shakes his head.

"I love your eyes. It's as if your soul shines right through them and it's the most beautiful color earth has." Castiel continues and he kisses Dean's eyelids, when he closes his eyes at those words. Dean is pretty sure Castiel fixed his make-up again, when he feels the heat again.

Dean wiggles under Castiel now, because even though it's the sweetest thing somebody has ever done for him, he needs more. He needs Castiel all around him. In him.

"Please." Dean whispers and he carefully puts one hand on Castiel's cheek. Feels Castiel's stubble against his hand. Alone Castiel's talk and his sweet touches, are leaving Dean hard and wanting.

Castiel doesn't answer, but he kisses Dean again and then carefully puts one of his hands under Dean's shirt. Dean shudders at that. He knows that he eats way too unhealthy, but Castiel doesn't seem to be disgusted by his tummy.

"Can we take that off?" Castiel asks and then pulls a bit at Dean's T-Shirt. Dean nods and he has to sit up, so he can take it off. Castiel gets up from the bed again, so Dean can move. It takes another deep breath from Dean, but then he hastily pulls his shirt over his head and throws it somewhere behind him.

"So beautiful." Castiel says and he is still dressed completely. Dean feels a bit silly, but it's also incredible hot. He can't wait for Castiel to lose his clothes.

"I have too many tattoos." Dean mumbles, but Castiel shakes his head. He strokes his hand down Dean's chest and Dean shivers again. It feels so good. He has some trials tattooed on his chest and Castiel seems to like them.

"This has to be my favorite." Castiel says and his right hand wanders to Dean's left upper arm. There is a handprint tattooed and Castiel puts his hand right over it. It fits perfectly and Dean wants to make a joke about being touched by an angel.

"I love all your scars, because they show how strong you are and that you are a fighter." Castiel whispers and he presses kisses all over Dean's right side. Where John had hit him, when Sammy left.

But then Castiel's other hand brushes over his nipple and all Dean does is moan again. He is very sensitive there and Castiel smirks.

"You like that, hm?" Castiel whispers and leans down to kiss over Dean's chest again. He is slow in his movement and very carefully and Dean feels way too hot again. This time not because of Castiel's grace. Every place Castiel touches is on fire.

"Yes." Dean mutters, but Castiel probably doesn't need that answer. He kisses Dean's nipple and when he actually bites down on it, Dean moans loudly. He is lucky to not have neighbors, seriously.

"So sensitive." Castiel mutters and then presses even more kisses all over Dean's chest. He only slowly goes down to his stomach and Dean giggles, because heck that actually tickles. Castiel smiles against his skin and Dean tries to relax again.

"I love your stomach. I love that you aren't ashamed to eat everything you like, even though you could eat something healthy once in a while." Castiel says, while he kisses right over his belly button.

"You're wearing too many clothes." Dean says quietly, when Castiel kisses his way back to his mouth. Castiel leans back and with a snap of his fingers his white dressing shirt and his tie are on the floor. Oh well that could come in handy.

It's a bit sad too, because Dean would've loved to undress Castiel himself, but he could do that another time. Castiel is leaning down again and this time he puts his weight directly on Dean, who lets his head fall back. Fuck, Castiel's skin is so hot against his own.

"More." Dean whispers brokenly, when Castiel puts one of his legs between Dean's and rubs his dick directly over Dean's. The pants and their underwear are still between them, but Dean already feels close. He can clearly feel that Castiel is hard, too and he groans at the thought.

This time he really needs to touch Castiel as well.

"I'll give you anything you want, Baby." Castiel says and he kisses Dean's neck again. Dean is so distracted by that, he doesn't even realizes that one of Castiel's hands wanders down to the waistband of his jeans.

Castiel sits up again and looks at Dean. It's embarrassing when he looks at Dean like that. Because Dean is for sure flushed everywhere. His lips feel already swollen and he feels so loved, that he blinks some tears away.

"A wolf hm?" Castiel mutters and presses a kiss on the big wolf tattoo on Dean's hip. He trails his kisses all the way along Dean's waistband and Dean is shaking. He is a bit afraid, because Castiel will see something that is very…embarrassing. But Castiel liked his kilt.

"Can I?" Castiel asks and his fingers play with the button of Dean's jeans. As an answer Dean just lifts his hips and closes his eyes, while Castiel carefully opens his pants, just to pull them completely off Dean's legs.

Castiel stops. Dean holds his breath. He is really nervous about this, but Castiel liked the kilt too and maybe… oh god maybe this was wrong and… Dean yelps, when Castiel presses his mouth right over Dean's bulge.

"Son of a bitch." Dean mutters.

"Those are so beautiful, Dean. You are so unfairly pretty. Thank you for showing me this. I love how open you are about things like this." Castiel whispers and Dean blushes even harder, but Castiel really seems to like his panties. They aren't anything special, just a deep green, that match his eyes, but Castiel trails his fingers over them again and again.

Dean was never this hard and Castiel licks another stripe up against his dick. Dean bites on his hand, so he wouldn't scream.

"Just one thing missing." Castiel says then and he kisses his way up again. When he reaches Dean's lips he pulls at Dean's hair. Dean moans louder at that and then Castiel is grinning.

"Now your hair matches your panties. I love your hair so much. No matter what color." Castiel whispers and Dean wish he could see himself now. He is already a mess. Castiel's mess. His panties are soaked from Castiel's kisses, but also because Dean's dick is already leaking precum.

"Why don't you show me how much you like it?" Dean whispers and he tries to be cheeky, so he actually winks at his boyfriend. Castiel gets up and pulls off his own pants. Dean swallows dryly, when he sees Castiel's black and very tight boxer shorts. Fuck.

Castiel sees Dean's gaze and smirks, when he takes his dick out and strokes himself once. Twice. Dean gasps quietly and can't take his eyes away from Castiel's dick.

"As you can see I like it very much." Castiel says and he sits back down at the end of the bed. Dean is still nervous, but Castiel's smile is still so full of love.

"Can you… I mean can I?" Dean says and he isn't sure what he wants to ask Castiel. But his angel seems to understand him, because Castiel nods and then helps Dean to get up. Dean moves slowly and then sits down at the front of the bed.

"I n-never did this before so I'm sorry if I'm bad at it." Dean mumbles, but he tries to stay calm and slowly pulls the underwear from Castiel down his thighs. Dean licks his lips, when he finally sees Castiel's dick this close for the first time. Castiel smirks.

"I'm sure I will enjoy it." Castiel mumbles back and he strokes himself again. Dean watches him a bit amazed and then reaches out to touch Castiel himself. Castiel groans loudly, when Dean puts his hand around him.

And fuck that feels good. Before Dean can think too much about it and worry again, he starts stroking Castiel harder and Castiel starts to thrusts up against his hand. Dean can see how Castiel closes his eyes and actually seems to enjoy it and Dean feels a bit proud. He makes Castiel feel this good.

"Oh yes Dean." Castiel says and Dean uses that moment to lick a hot stripe up his cock. This time Castiel definitely makes a sound, that isn't really human anymore and Dean does it again. He carefully mouths against Castiel's dick a few more times, before he tries to take him into his mouth.

Dean makes a noise himself at that, but he tries not to be too embarrassed about it, but Castiel tastes so good. Castiel groans again and then his hands are in Dean's hair. Pulling again, harder with every time Dean tries to take him a bit further.

"So beautiful like this, Dean. All stretched around my cock. I love your lips like this." Castiel whispers and Dean swallows around his cock He can feel Castiel's dark eyes on him.

Watching how his cock disappears between Dean's full lips.

Dean knows it's not the best blowjob, but Castiel likes it regardless. He still whispers sweet nothings, but Dean is too focused on his dick. Only when he chokes again, he pulls off Castiel's dick. Only realizing now, that his eyes are tearing up again.

"Please Cas." Dean begs.

Castiel doesn't give him time to think about it and helps Dean up, only to push him on the bed again. Dean gasps and then Castiel takes his hand.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Castiel asks and Dean nods. He was never this sure about something, even though he is still afraid. It will, for sure, hurt a bit, but he trusts Castiel to take care of him.

"Yes." Dean whispers and Castiel kisses him shortly.

"Turn over for me." Castiel whispers and Dean presses his thighs together at that. He doesn't feel so good about that idea.

"I wanna see you." Dean says honestly, because he wants to look into Castiel blue eyes, when he comes. He wants to kiss him through it and watch how Castiel comes with him.

"And you will. It's just easier the first time like this, hm?" Castiel says and at that Dean turns onto his stomach. He feels awkward like this, but then Castiel makes such a noise, that Dean looks back at him.

Then he remembers. The tattooed wings on his back. Castiel carefully trails them with his fingers and Dean feels bad. That's like blasphemy. But Castiel is actually smiling.

"So beautiful, my wonderful angel." Castiel says and Dean snorts. That should be his line right? But Castiel is laughing a bit as well.

"Can I see your real wings sometime?" Dean asks shyly and Castiel seems surprised with that question, but at least he nods.

"I love your back, Dean. It's strong and you carry so much weight on it. You would really deserve these wings to be real." Castiel whispers and Dean shakes his head.

"Too m-much." Dean mumbles but Castiel grins.

"Now relax baby." Castiel says and he kisses slowly down Dean's spine. Dean closes his eyes and really tries to relax, but he feels too nervous for that. Castiel then pulls the panties down, only so far that Dean's ass is naked. Dean's dick is still pressing against the silk and he whines.

Only to snort quietly into the crook of his arm, when Castiel kisses his ass cheeks, but then he moans loudly, when Castiel presses his fingers right against Dean's hole. Nobody ever touched him there before, he rarely even touched himself down there.

"I love your ass. It fits perfectly into my hands. As if it were made for me." Castiel says and Dean whimpers at that. Yes. Please. He needs Castiel to start now.

"We need l-lube." Dean whispers and Castiel snaps his fingers again. Dean already starts to love that noise and when Castiel strokes over his ass again, he feels how wet Castiel's fingertips are.

"Condom? I mean, I can't exactly catch any…" Castiel starts and Dean throws the condom far away. He wants to do this for real. Wants to feel Castiel all the way and he is clean himself. Nobody has touched him for years.

"I'll be careful." Castiel says and he still thumbs against his hole a few more times, before he finally pushes the tip of his index finger past Dean's rim. Dean already feels a bit stretched from only that one finger, but it doesn't really hurt. It feels just weird.

Dean tries to press back against his finger, but Castiel just holds his hip down with only one hand and damn that's so hot.

"Please Cas." Dean says and Castiel carefully pushes his finger in and out again. That still feels weird, but the kisses Castiel places all over his back feel so good. Dean arches his back. He tries to rut against the mattress, but as soon as he does that, Castiel stills his movement. Dean groans frustrated.

"You will come from my dick and from that alone, Dean." Castiel says huskily and Dean whimpers into the bed sheets now. Holy shit, who would've thought his angel would be this dirty. But then again he showed Dean that with how much he liked Dean's kilt or his panties.

"Yes." Dean just moans back and just as he gets used to one finger, Castiel is already pressing another one into his hole. Dean groans. It does kinda hurt this time, but it also feels very good and Castiel is stretching him with an angelic patience. Dean snorts again, but then Castiel finds his prostate and Dean moans loudly.

"Fuck, Cas!" Dean almost yells and Castiel does it again and again. Dean is squirming on the bed, but he tries his best not to come too soon.

"I will never get tired of this sight." Castiel whispers and he pushes a third finger into Dean. He feels really stretched now and so full. There is no pain left and he never thought the pleasure would be this big.

"Please Cas. I'm ready… please, I need you, Cas." Dean begs, when Castiel brushes over his prostate again and Dean nearly comes from Castiel's fingers alone.

Castiel curls his finger one more time, before he pulls back and Dean feels already so done, that he just lays there. Castiel chuckles and carefully turns him around. Dean whimpers quietly and holds his hands up.

"Aw Baby." Castiel says and kisses Dean again. They get lost in a few kisses, before Castiel rubs up against Dean's thigh and Dean's own dick makes himself known again. Castiel gets rid of the panties and smirks.

"Maybe some time we let you keep those on, while I fuck you. Maybe get out your kilt again, too." Castiel whispers and Dean shudders. Fuck he would like that.

"Cas." Dean whispers again and Castiel nods. Dean sees how Castiel strokes some of the lube over his dick and then he finally presses his tip inside Dean.

"Fuck yes!" Dean yells and he bites on his hand again, before Castiel gently pulls his hands away from his mouth. Dean tries to remember how to breathe and his hands fist the sheets when Castiel enters him fully.

He feels so full and so hot. Dean groans again and this time Castiel does as well. As soon as he is completely inside, Castiel stops and he seems out of breath as well.

"I love your ass." Castiel groans and Dean needs him to move now! He carefully tries to push back against Castiel's dick and finally Castiel gets the memo.

Dean whines loudly when Castiel moves away from him and just when he thinks he will die if Castiel doesn't fuck him right now, Castiel pushes back, hard. Dean moans and fucking hell, Castiel is so freaking big.

There is a pleasure shooting up Dean's spine and for a second he wants to put his hand around his dick. But Castiel said he shouldn't get himself off, so Dean doesn't. Castiel fucks him faster now. With every thrust of his hips Dean feels a bit closer to heaven.

"Cas, please. Cas." Dean mumbles again and again and Castiel is kissing him quiet and then he changes his angle a bit and fuck that is his prostate again. Dean whines and he feels so good. He never wants this to end.

"Dean, I wish you could see yourself right now. You look so stunning and beautiful and I'm so gone on you." Castiel whispers and he kisses over Dean's whole face again. Dean sniffles quietly. He doesn't deserve this.

"N-no." Dean whispers and Castiel finds his prostate again.

"So tight, baby. So tight, all for me." Castiel mumbles and Dean fucks back against him. Yes.

"Only yours, Cas. I'm yours." Dean says between every gasp and Castiel's rhythm speeds up again. Dean arches his back.

"You should be the angel for us, too. You are more than I ever deserve, Dean. You are perfect." Castiel says and when he rubs over his prostate with every one of his thrusts, Dean feels how the tears fall down his cheeks.

Castiel makes sure to kiss them all alway. He is making love to him. They aren't just fucking and Dean starts to cry harder. He never did this before, but he loves Castiel. He is in love with him.

Castiel smiles at him and then he finally touches Dean's dick and it feels almost like too much. Maybe one day Dean could really come just from Castiel's dick.

"Castiel, fuck yes. Like that. Please fuck me harder." Dean says and now he isn't even embarrassed anymore that he is begging. Castiel leans down to him and bites his ear.

"Come for me, Baby. Come all over us." He whispers and Dean does. He comes all over Castiel's hand and himself and it doesn't seem to stop. Dean whines and presses closer to Castiel, who still thrusts slowly into him.

Dean shakes after his orgasm and he is so exhausted, that he wants nothing but sleep, but he kisses Castiel again.

"I love you." Dean whispers and that's enough to tip Castiel over the edge as well and Dean groans louder, when he feels Castiel coming in him. He never thought he would like that part, but it feels fantastic. Castiel blinks some tears away now too and kisses Dean everywhere he can reach.

"Want to see another angel trick?" Castiel whispers, as he pulls slowly out and Dean hisses. Oh yes he will definitely feel this in the morning. Dean nods sleepily and with another move of Castiel's fingers, they are both clean again.

Dean sighs happily and then tries to get the blanket. Castiel chuckles and pulls Dean's thick blanket over both of them. The last time Castiel slept in this bed, he was gone in the morning. Dean is a bit afraid that would happen again, even though he knows Castiel is actually and officially his boyfriend now.

"You still have him." Castiel says and Dean looks up, to see that Castiel talking about the teddy bear on his nightstand. Dean blushes and smiles.

"Can't really sleep without him." Dean admits and Castiel kisses him quiet.

"Did you know that I actually used my grace to change him? I wanted him to look like me so you would always think of me." Castiel whispers quietly, while Dean puts his head on Castiel's chest. Castiel strokes Dean's hair and Dean laughs.

"Really?" He asks and now it made sense how Castiel got it, because really a teddy bear in a trench coat?

"Of course. It was only fair, because I was thinking about you all the time, too." Castiel says and Dean smiles.

"I love you." He whispers and when Castiel reciprocates his feelings, Dean finally closes his eyes. He is out like a light, just as Castiel starts to stroke over his back.

 

*

 

Dean looks out to the sea and smiles. The sun is burning down at him and Dean is lost in his thoughts. Never did the sea look so beautiful.

"Dean?"

He turns around and sees Sam and Eileen. His brother looks also very happy and he has an arm around Eileen. She is smiling widely.

"You ready?" Eileen asks and Dean nods. He walks over to them and sees that Crowley, Bobby, Jo, Charlie, Kevin, Azara and Benny are already waiting in the sand. Dean decides not to comment on the fact, that Benny has an arm around Azara as well.

"Why do I have the feeling that this wedding will be a bit weird." Sam mumbles, when they stand next to the rest of the group. Dean snorts and Azara laughs loudly.

"Because my brother is weirdo?" Azara laughs and even Eileen is nodding now. Sam rolls his eyes and then Dean sees two horses across the beach. He chuckles.

"Oh god, they are kidding me right?" Dean says, when the horses come closer. Rowena and Gabriel are apparently naked. Dean doesn't even know where to look, so he focuses on the animals.

"This is worse than I thought." Sam mumbles and then Dean feels someone coming up behind him. Dean leans back without thinking and of course Castiel puts his arms around him and holds Dean.

"Am I too late?" Castiel mumbles and Dean shakes his head. He is still looking at the horses, but cuddles a bit more against his boyfriend. He feels safe with Castiel and he never had that feeling before.

Dean laughs loudly when Jo puts a hand over Kevin's eyes, when she sees that Rowena and Gabriel are really, completely naked. Kevin whines loudly and Charlie laughs at them.

"We ask you here today, in this most sacred and beautiful of places, to witness our dedication to each other." Gabriel starts, when they stop right in front of them. Dean is a bit happy that they are staying on the horses.

Dean can't help it, he turns a bit around and looks at Castiel, who winks at him. Dean has to press a kiss against his lips. He is in love. Sue him.

"We start our new lives as we started the last one. Naked and Needy. Dependent on those we love to care for us." Rowena ends it and she leans a bit over, so Gabriel can kiss her.

Everyone starts cheering around them, but Dean can't focus on the rest of them. He only looks at Castiel again and is surprised, when he sees that Castiel is only staring at him as well.

"Hell yes." Dean mumbles and Castiel laughs.

Kevin squeals loudly and then they all sit down on some blankets Charlie had bought with her. Dean never had a picnic at the beach, even though he is living here for years, but it's a wonderful idea.

"I never thought this day would happen." Gabriel says, when he sits down and luckily he seems to have used his grace to put some clothes on Rowena and himself. Sam visibly relaxes.

"Me too." Eileen says and she sits down in Sam's lap. Sam puts his arms around her and takes some of the fruits that are laid out in some of the bowls. Of course. Dean smiles and then carefully strokes over the little hellhounds fur.

It's still weird to believe Crowley is the king of hell, when he sits like that with Bobby. They seem happy and Crowley doesn't care at all that Bobby is in a wheelchair. No he treats him normally. Like Sam treats Eileen.

Maybe Crowley and Gabriel could find ways to heal Eileen and Bobby. But they don't have to, because they are perfect like that.

Dean swallows.

Like Castiel treats him.

"So deep in your thoughts again?" Castiel mumbles against his ear and Dean nods. He feels like Gabriel. He can't believe his luck.

"Only about you." Dean says back and nobody is even laughing at him, because he turned out to be this sappy. But Castiel seems to really like it.

"I have to say, we are kinda a weird group." Azara says and Dean doesn't point out that she is holding Benny's hand. Even though on the inside he does squeal a bit. Called it.

"Weird how?" Jo asks but she is grinning. Charlie rolls her eyes and then gives Kevin some of her pie. Dean squints at the pie. He wants a piece as well, but of course Castiel knew that already and presses a plate with a piece of pie into his hands.

"Hm let's see. We have some serious supernatural creatures here, and a lot of hunters, but nobody is killing anyone." Gabriel points out and Dean snorts. Gabriel is right, normally they shouldn't love each other. But they do and that's important.

"I still can't believe the king of hell dates a hunter." Azara snickers and Benny shakes his head.

"Yeah, what about you and the vampire?" Crowley shoots back and Azara really blushes. She even hides her face against Benny's chest. Dean grins openly at his friend and Benny winks at him.

"I like every single pair of us." Rowena says quietly and she is smiling softly at Gabriel. Dean gets his glass and then raises it.

"I have something to say." He starts and then squeezes Castiel's hand. He finally knows what is important and he has to share it with his…family. Even though they seemed to understand that way sooner than he did.

"Shoot." Gabriel says and Dean grins at him.

"I just wanna let you know that I'm happy to be part of this family. It doesn't matter who is a human, or not. It doesn't matter if someone is… is a man and loves another man. It doesn't even matter if someone looks a bit… weirder than usual. It just matters what's inside. What we feel and how we act on our feelings." Dean says and he feels himself blushing again.

"Finally." Sam says and he is grinning. Eileen slaps him for it, but Dean decides that Sam is right. It took him way too long to see it and he almost missed out on such a beautiful life.

"So, I just wanna say, I love you all." Dean says and he can see how Charlie even wipes his eyes.

"Amen." Castiel says and Dean kisses him senseless. Like he should've done from the first minute they met.

 

*

 

"Hmmm." Dean makes when he wakes up. He feels so good and his bed is still warm. Dean rolls around so maybe he can still get some cuddles from Castiel, before he has to get to work.

Dean pats besides him, but the bed is empty. Dean groans quietly. Why is Castiel already up, he knows exactly how much Dean loves to wake up beside him. The bed is cold on Castiel's side and Dean decides to get up as well.

It's not much fun in his bed without Castiel.

"What the fuck." Dean says when he opens his eyes and looks at a dark wall. Did Castiel paint his bedroom over night or what? His bedroom walls are white and not…

This is not his bedroom. Dean's heart stops. What happened? The last thing he remembers is Gabriel's and Rowena's wedding. Yeah maybe he got a bit drunk, but he also knows exactly that he fell asleep in Castiel's arms.

"Cas?" Dean says and he carefully gets up. He is not wearing his "I wuv hugs" shirt, like he does every night but instead he is wearing only his boxer shorts and then Dean has to sit down again. His head hurts like hell.

_Oh no._

That… that can't be. Dean hastily runs towards his bathroom, but when he sees himself in the mirror, the tears are already falling down his cheeks. He is at the bunker again and not in Santa Cruz.

His colorful hair, piercings, tattoos and even his eyeliner is gone. Dean sobs when he traces his fingers through his short blond hair.

It wasn't real. Everything he had seen wasn't real.

Dean presses his hands to his eyes and starts crying harder. He really had thought, that he had found his happy end. But that couldn't have been just a dream. It felt different. Like the time Sam and he were bought to another dimension from Balthazar.

But then…

Dean doesn't care that he still isn't dressed. He has to see Castiel now. Because even if it wasn't real, Dean's feelings are. They were before this weird trip to Santa Cruz. He is in love with Castiel for years and...he isn't afraid anymore.

It doesn't matter that he is only human and that Castiel is an angel again. It doesn't matter that Dean's body is covered in scars. That he still has blood on his hands and that he would love to dress like Priestly did.

It only matters that he loves Castiel.

When he enters the library, he stops. There is Castiel standing right in the middle of it. He seems a bit confused as well.

"Cas." Dean breathes and at that Castiel turns around. Dean waits for him to say something, but Castiel seems just to study him. He tilts his head and Dean can see the longing in his eyes. Maybe he is afraid Dean wouldn't remember.

Or worse. Dean would suppress his feelings again.

"Hello Dean." He says quietly and Dean's heart breaks, when Castiel's eyes fill with tears. He had never seen him cry before and Dean can't wait anymore. He runs towards his angel and nearly falls to the ground with him, when he hugs Castiel.

"Cas." Dean cries into his shoulder and then finally Castiel hugs him back.

"You remember?" Castiel whispers quietly and Dean nods his head. He looks up again and he isn't ashamed of his tears. He just needs Castiel to understand that he still wants that. That he still wants Castiel.

"Of course. I would never forget that." Dean whispers and Castiel smiles through his tears. Dean wants to laugh, because they are standing here like idiots, crying while they hold onto each other. But he can't.

"And you still want me?" Castiel whispers and he is looking at Dean's lips.

"How could I ever want someone besides you?" Dean says and he chuckles, because those were the words Castiel said to him back in Santa Cruz.

And then Castiel finally kisses him again. Dean sighs happily. Thank god, or whoever made him see that he was allowed to love Castiel.

"I'm not afraid anymore." Dean says against Castiel lips and he means it. He would scream it at everyone who wants to know. He would tell everyone.

"I love you." Castiel whispers back and Dean nods. He knows that and he would never forget that again.

"I love you, too." Dean says and he knows he is blushing again, but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters but the happiness in Castiel's eyes and Dean is sure his soul is being a lot brighter again.

When Dean looks at his reflection of one of the glass panels from one of the wardrobes behind Castiel, he can see that his hair glimmers a bit green. Yeah he would totally dye it again and he has to get Castiel's handprint tattooed.

He would finally be free from John and his own insecurities. He would wear whatever he wants and he would wear his eyeliner again. And the kilt? Well maybe not for a hunt, but definitely to surprise Castiel again.

"Remember when we were at the pier?" Dean asks quietly and Castiel nods.

"I will never forget the pier." Castiel laughs quietly into his hair. Dean cuddles a bit closer and sighs happily. He feels good like this.

"You said my name when you came. Dean. I just realize that now." Dean admits and he isn't even sure, why that detail is coming to his mind so clearly.

"I remember and I was… maybe it's because of our profound bond." Castiel says in the end and Dean frowns at that. He carefully strokes over the handprint on his shoulder. It's still there. Castiel was the one who gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.

"You think so?" Dean says and Castiel nods.

"Yes. I remember, that I was searching for something and I couldn't find it and I only calmed down when I went to visit Gabriel and Balthazar and saw you. Something very strong pulled me towards you and… that's why I even started to flirt with you." Castiel admits and Dean snickers.

"You mean you tried flirting with me?" Dean says cheekily and Castiel actually rolls his eyes at him. Rude.

"Anyway. Something bugged me about your name Priestly from the start. Maybe it's because Priestly means to set an own pace in life without being governed by tradition. Just like you ran away from John and made your own life decisions." Castiel says frowning.

"Oh, so my name even made sense." Dean laughs and Castiel nods.

"I still prefer Dean." Castiel mutters into his hair and Dean sighs happily. Yeah, Priestly was okay, but Boaz? No thank you.

"Do you know what Dean means?" He asks shyly and Castiel smiles.

"Someone named Dean needs harmony and balance in his life. They have an inner desire for a stable and loving family and they want to be appreciated." Castiel whispers and Dean shudders at his words. Somehow, that does sound like him.

"I feel like I already have that." Dean admits and Castiel kisses his forehead.

"I will make sure that you will always have it." Castiel says and Dean has to kiss him for that. Who knew he was this needy, but he can't help it, when Castiel says things like that.

"I'm glad that you said my name back then, even if I didn't realized it then." Dean says and Castiel blushes a bit.

"Well… I could feel something back then. Your soul screaming for me and I needed to be closer. I always will only respond to your soul." Castiel says and Dean smiles so widely, that Castiel starts to smile again, too.

"Like soulmates?" Dean whispers and Castiel tears up at that word. Maybe they were always soulmates and Dean wasn't even too dumb to see it, he was just afraid.

"Yeah." Castiel says and he takes Dean's hand into his before he kisses it.

"I'm sorry it took me so long." Dean whispers. Castiel kisses him again and Dean doesn't know how long they stand there like this.

"Dean, Cas? I had a really weird dream." Sam says, when he comes into the library. He still looks very tired and rubs his eyes. Then he gasps, when he sees that Castiel has still his arms around Dean, who presses against Castiel's chest.

"Oh." Sam says and Dean laughs.

"Not everything about it was a dream." Dean says and he sees how his brother starts to smile. Yeah Sammy doesn't look weirded out or disgusted. No, he looks happy. Just like he did in Santa Cruz, when he told Dean it doesn't matter that he fell in love with a man.

"I'm happy for you guys." Sam says and then he puts something on the table. He winks at Dean and then turns around to leave them alone. Castiel kisses Dean again, but Dean takes his hand and goes over to the table.

There is a tiny stone. Just like the one Sam gave Eileen in Santa Cruz. Dean laughs.

It was Sam who created this illusion. The little bastard. Dean grins. Maybe he should ask Castiel to make more of the pairings in Santa Cruz come true, because, apparently, the stone showed not only him his true love.

Dean feels some heat in his belly again and when he looks down, he is wearing a completely new shirt. It's a dark red and something is written on it.

 _"Will you be my ten inch hero?"_ Dean reads loudly and Castiel smirks.

"Of course I will." Castiel answers and Dean slaps him, only to kiss his boyfriend again.

After all, he, Dean Winchester, is in love with Castiel an angel and a man and the best thing about it? Castiel loves him back.

**Author's Note:**

> You made it to the end! :D
> 
> I really hope you liked the story, because this one means a lot to me. If you want, share your thoughts with me!
> 
> Also I wanna thank everybody again for their wonderful help! The fandom is such a lovely place! <3
> 
> side note: I do love Ketch, but I kinda needed a bad guy ;) 
> 
> Talk to me on [tumblr](https://notfunnydean.tumblr.com) if you want! x


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